(Closed) Is this a weird way to honor FI's dad at our wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Is a cake an acceptable way to honor a deceased relative?
    Yes, it is personal without being melancholy : (22 votes)
    44 %
    No, find some other way to honor him : (28 votes)
    56 %
    other (please explain) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    1304 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I think I would feel strange eating a memorial cake.

    My husband’s father passed away a year before we got married.  Here is what we did to acknowledge him at our wedding:

    1. On the back of our ceremony program we had three paragraphs: (1) thank you to our parents (2) thank you to our family and friends (3) “we remember” section to acknowledge my Father-In-Law and “others who could not be with us”.

    2. My husband wore his dad’s monogrammed cufflinks.

    3. We displayed our parents’ wedding photos (two 8 x 10 photos, one per couple) and albums next to our gift / guestbook / escort card table(s).  This way we got to have a bunch of photos of my Father-In-Law without it being a sad memorial.  Our guests seemed to get a big kick out of looking at the albums.

    I’m just listing this to help you brainstorm.

    Post # 4
    305 posts
    Helper bee

    i attended a wedding where the bride had songs sung by piano man in memory of her brother who had passed earlier.  i found it to be a buzzkill actually. it brought down the fun tone of the wedding and most people just sat there not really knowing what to do or how to act, while the bride’s family was all into it and crying. i have lots of mixed feelings about these public displays of memorials at weddings, but having said that, i don’t see how a cake would bring anyone down and most people would not even notice. 

    Post # 7
    305 posts
    Helper bee

    @whitenights:  i would say SCORE on the signature drink with miller lite.  i think that’s awesome haha. and cheap!

    Post # 9
    12973 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think it’s a little awkward, and like a PP said, I would feel weird eating the memorial cake.  Really, who would want to be the first to cut into it???  I think there are so many other ways to honor him that this one is a little too out there.  Sorry!

    Post # 10
    680 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think it would be a little weird.  How about an In Loving Memory table?  That’s what we’re doing.  We’ll have a small table set up with a frame saying “In Loving Memory” and some other words.  Next to the sign, we’ll have a picture of each person along with their name.

    Post # 11
    914 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I’ve been to a wedding where a framed photo of the bride’s mother was seated in what would have been her seat during the ceremony and they had a moment of silence during the ceremony to achknowledge loved ones who could not be there, mentioning them by name. Their names were also in a memorium on the programs. That way, they are acknowledged during the important part of the wedding and the reception can just be fun!

    Post # 12
    4046 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Did his dad have a favorite cake flavor? Might be better, you wouldn’t have to mention the cake was in his memory, but people who knew the dad would know.

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