(Closed) Is this abuse? What do I do now?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 76
614 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

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confusedaf :  If my SO did this it would be over. I love my SO very much. He is kind and gentle and this would be 100% out of character. At this point, I would be asking myself who I married. I am concerned about the gas-lighting and the lying. He is trying to make you think that you are crazy. Seek a mental health professional. I would be wondering if he is bipolar.

Post # 77
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

I think both of you have bizarre behavior and would benefit from therapy greatly.  He is abusive and you throw glass bottles out of anger at walls. Therapy STAT. 

Post # 78
1295 posts
Bumble bee

The most telling part of this story is that you need to throw glass bottles at a brick wall to blow off steam (as a coping mechanism) and that he filmed you doing it because he was afraid.  I’m still confused about the knuckle/finger “punch” because you were hugging someone at the time and they didn’t even notice.

I think you both need counseling.

Post # 79
26 posts

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Peachytalk :  

I entirely agree with you. This whole story makes me feel sick based on abuse and gaslighting I’ve experienced and have witnessed my mom experience. This situation screams of toxicity and abuse. The comments from NDTieTheKnot are also so creepy and unsettling and make me feel even worse. 

confusedaf please follow your instincts and never stay in a situation you sense is unhealthy, which this is!! 

Post # 80
90 posts
Worker bee

Dear Bee,

As a survivor of a long emotionally abusive marriage (now over), please trust your instincts. The situation you described is physical and emotional abuse. You do not deserve to be treated this way. There is no excuse for his not stopping when you asked him to, and there is no excuse for his trying to gaslight you–telling you it was all in your head. My ex used to tell me all the time that I had o sense of humor as he belittled me and then told me it was all a joke. This is not okay. You deserve to be treated with respect at all times. Please seek out the support of a counselor. It is heartbreaking when someone you love treats you this way, but it won;t help you to make excuses for him, or to accept his. The only way forward is if he accepts responsibility for his behavior. I wish you the best and will be praying for you.


Post # 81
2548 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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Smoochism :  Physical abuse has to start somewhere at sometime. Hitters don’t hit on the first date, after all. Emotional abuse, it appears, had been going on for some time. I think this is taking it to the next level. Abuse escalates. 

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