(Closed) Is this alright?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
150 posts
Blushing bee

@Payless:  I don’t find that rude, gift cards are a nice alternative! I totally understand you not wanting gifts at this time since you would have to ship them home.

Post # 4
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I don’t think you should mention anything. Not registering already signifies that you prefer cash or gift cards. By telling guests this you are assuming they will get you a gift, which most will but it is not required. Even if you mention it’s not expected, it will come off rude. 

You can also use parents/word of mouth to let them know becuase of your move physical gifts would be difficult for you to receive. Freinds/family usually ask where you are regsitered and you can just let them know that you did not register at any store. It’s pretty clear what you are getting at. 

Post # 5
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If I were you, I just wouldn’t include anything about gifts or a registry at all. Among my friends and family, if guests don’t know where you registered (or if you didn’t register, period) then they’ll give cash or gift cards anyway.

Do you have a wedding website where you could put that information?

Post # 6
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Payless:  Yeah I think it’s very rude. 

I think it’s rude to mention gifts at all on the invitation, but the part about your wording that is super rude is gifts are not expected but appreciated.  Yeah, everyone knows that it’s generally the way it works.   If you don’t register, most people won’t buy you gifts. That is the clue that you would prefer cash.

Post # 7
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

You’e not even supposed to put where you’re registered on an invite… I think I might be a little offended if I received that. Obviously people are going to get you gifts – they’ll ask around where you’re registered and the messaging can be for cash or gift cards to wherever


Post # 8
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Sorry, but it is very rude. As PP suggested, I would not include anything regarding gifts on an invitation.

ETA: Some bees have mentioned registering online for giftcards….

Post # 9
9682 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@MrsWBS:  +1, this. If you must include this, I would at least put that gifts are not expected first. Even so, I would rather you put nothing at all. If guests ask, then you can explain your situation (or perhaps they will ask your parents, who can also explain the situation).

It’s best just not to mention these things because they are obvious.  

Post # 10
9198 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I’d put it on the wedding website rather than the invites, and word it a little differently.  Something like, “Your presence is the only gift we need.  If you do wish to bring a gift, please consider a gift card due to our recent move.”  Or something?  I don’t like the part about them being appreciated… (cause duh)

And I disagree with PPs that not registering = cash.  I think this is totally regional. Where I live (Wyoming), people like to give physical gifts.  We had a registry but SO many people gave us random (but nice!) off-registry gifts, and I think that would have just happened more without a registry. 

Post # 11
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Didn’t you just tell another bee that it’s rude to ask for cash?

Don’t mention gifts on the invitation at all. Just don’t register–people will either assume that you want money or they’ll ask someone.

Post # 14
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Payless:  I cringed when I read it. I didn’t register, so I put nothing on my invite (which you are never supposed to put that anywhere on an invite). I just posted it under the registry information on our website that we were not registered anywhere.

No matter what you put, people will still give you gifts. They don’t know your whole situation, and some people are just funny about giving money or giftcards.

I am not sure how you could word that without sounding rude. I understand your situation, and I wouldn’t want any “gift gifts” either, but I am not sure there is a polite way to word it.

If ANYTHING I would put “In leui of our moving situation, we will not be registering anywhere.”

Post # 16
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I personally wouldn’t be offended.  Especially given the situation, and your friends and family know this.  But i do like the idea of switching the wording around so that you have the gifts are not necessary part before requesting gift cards.

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