(Closed) Is this an eating disorder?

posted 5 years ago in Fitness
Post # 3
2934 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

@Miss Mochaccino:  I’d be willing to bet good money it is, and I am not a gambler. Is your Darling Husband (or are other members of her family) worried about her? Even if she is not purging and even if she is not “too” thin, her behavior is unhealthy mentally. There’s not a lot you can do, though, except maybe express to her (at a time when the moment is right) that you are worried about her focus on weight loss and calorie intake and you wish she would talk to her doctor about it to make sure she’s okay.

Post # 4
6500 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2019

I am really no expert on this but I would be thinking along the same lines as you. There is a difference between eating healthy and being focused and being obsessed. Would she welcome you talking to her about it?

Post # 5
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Miss Mochaccino:  could be or could not be. No way to tell from that. Generally if she was purging she would probably try and hide it not make it obvious…

Post # 6
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

It sounds like it is. Keep in mind that you don’t have to be skin and bones to be sick. I struggled with a disorder and at my lowest weight, I was skinny but not stick thin. However, I was jaundiced, stopped menstruating and my body was shutting down. I wish I could help with what to do, but I know that in my case, I would have lied through my teeth in order to continue my disorder. I finally began taking steps to get better when I realized my little sister had started taking notice and imitating my behavior. Perhaps consult a therapist who can help you navigate the conversation.

Post # 7
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Mauritius

I suffered from Bulimia Nervosa for years, and have relapses now and again. The warning signs such as obsession with food/lack of, excersise and weight loss seem to be there, and depending upon how regularly she is leaving the table right after eating that could also be a big warning sign. I did the same thing, it’s hard to purge if you leave it a little while, if you’re going to do it it needs to be as soon as you have finished eating. 

It can be a very very tricky subject, if she lost 40lbs and isn’t bone thin but ‘slim’ now then it’s possible the effects of being a little over-weight or her thinking she was could of had a big effect on her, even once you loose the weight you can find yourself saying the same thing in your head ‘I need to lose weight’, ‘I’m overweight’ etc. Perhaps have a chat with her about dieting/loosing weight, how she feels now she has lost so much and looks great, advice etc, get her talking about the subject in a positive way first before going in with any more difficult questions. You may find she opens up, whatever you do don’t go straight in with assuptive questions such as ‘are you purging’ ‘I’ve notice you do X’ etc because people with eating disorders are very secrative and defensive. 

Hope this helps, just from the other perspective x

Post # 8
3026 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

It’s definitely the beginning of one. 

My cousin was seriously anorexic for years and it started just like this: totally obsessing over food intake and calories burned. At its worst, she was not only starving herself, but she would wake up at 4a.m. to go running, and then go back to sleep so she would be burning calories while sleeping. She would not sit down between the hours of 7a.m. and 7 pm. She would study standing up. I once went to a movie with her and she stood in the aisle.

ALL my wargning bells are going off. I’d be worried if I were you.

Post # 10
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Miss Mochaccino: Its Very frustrating for loved ones but until she truly wants to get healthy, she won’t. Kind of like how people have to hit rock bottom for drug addicts for them to be motivated to get better…same thing for EDs




Post # 11
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

For one thing, whether or not one has an eating disorder is not necessarily reflected in how heavy or thin they are. There are plenty of overweight people struggling with eating disorders and plenty of stick thin people who are healthy eaters. However, your SIL’s behavior certainly indicates an unhealthy fixation with food, if not a full-blown eating disorder. If I were you, I might take her aside and say something like “I’ve noticed you seem very fixated on your weight lately. I think you’re beautiful at any size and just wanted to check in to make sure you’re doing ok.”  

And then, I think all you can really do is point out when she’s practicing negative self-talk or becoming obsessive about calorie counting, and model healthy eating for her. She is lucky to have such a compassionate, concerned SIL!

Post # 12
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Boxerlover24:  This is very true. Does she have a significant other? (S)he would probably be the only one who may be able to get through to her. It’s most likely that if you mention it, she will just be more careful to hide it around you. 

Post # 13
3340 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

Your SIL sounds exactly like me about 2 years ago (minus the alleged purging.  I’ve always hated throwing up and could never force myself to do it).  Did I have an eating disorder back then?  I don’t know.  I was never diagnosed with one because I never really spoke to anyone about it.  I think I may have been on the verge of one but not fully there yet.  That’s the way I’d describe your SIL at this stage too.  It sounds like she’s prone to an eating disorder at the very least.  If you decide to talk to her about it, be careful of the way your approach the subject.  Although I’m not sure that’s really necessary either.  Use your best judgment.  Good luck!

Post # 14
2433 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would see if Darling Husband would be able to approach her and just check in to see how she is doing. Given her past history of mistrust with you, I don’t think she would take kindly to you accusing her of having an ED (even though you clearly would be approaching out of concern for her health and well-being). 

Post # 15
879 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@Miss Mochaccino:   Having been through the horrors of bulimia, it sounds very suspicious to me. Particularly the bathroom visits during the meal/directly after (I did this). I was never “unhealthy thin” just slim and was often praised for my lower weight. 

Post # 16
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Miss Mochaccino:  It honestly can go either way.  No real evidence.  However, I do get up from dinner and such a lot to use the bathroom because I pee like crazy (tmi sorry). I usually drink a lot of water before eating so it usually times out. 

However, I will say, I have a similar regular diet and I have anorexic tendencies….It used to be severe but I’ve got it under fairly good control.

  I wont eat dessert unless I’ve burned those calories from doing some kind of exercise. I’m currently trying to lose weight (I have a good 40 lbs I could afford to lose) to be slim. 

My theory is that if she cares about her looks, she’ll have the same wake up call i did.  Her hair will start falling out, her nails start peeling off, her skin will look HORRIBLE.  There’s no hiding it… 

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