Post # 1
Member
380 posts
Helper bee
My husband grew up with two close friends, one was female. However, after he was deployed with the military this female friend (well call her B) drifted and they didn’t talk much after. We’ve been together 4 years and I’ve only met her 3 times.
One of those times was my birthday party last year where she got wasted, drank a bottle of wine that someone had brought me as a gift (that I never offered to her and that was still in the gift bag), and ate my birthday cake with her fingers ruining it for everyone and smearing icing all over my kitchen. Needless to say, I am not a fan of this girl. She recently came to my husbands birthday and I played nice to make him happy.
Now she has started to text him, which I don’t care about but it’s herlatest text that has me frustrated. He just told me that she texted him asking if he wanted to go on a hike with her this weekend with my dog and her dog. She has a bf that she lives with but she asked to go just the two of them. The reason I’m ticked is because I find it really inappropriate for this girl to be asking my husband to go hiking with her at a park that my husband takes ME to for our dates! If they had been close friends the past fewyears maybe it would seem different but they haven’t talked for the past 8 months and now she wants to go hiking alone?! I would never tell my husband he can’t be friends with her but I am just really shocked that she thinks it’s ok to ask a married man to leave his wife at home and take their dog hiking with her.
Am I wrong or would anyone Else feel weird about this too?
Post # 3
Member
3696 posts
Sugar bee
No, I’m with you, I would be hearing alarm bells all over the place at this one.
Post # 4
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
just her and your DH when he has you and she has a boyfriend? Asking the two of you as a double date, I’d be ok with.
Just the two of them out on a hike presumably somewhat not surrounded by people?
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllll no.
Post # 5
Member
7286 posts
Busy Beekeeper
For me, I think heck yeah ( its inappropriate to ask), especially considering your past history with her. I’m not sure why she needs to go hiking alone with a married man without her boyfriend or why you couldn’t go.
Post # 8
Member
5540 posts
Bee Keeper
Yeah, I’m really not a psycho jealous wife but that wouldn’t be okay. Someone who is a close friend, perhaps but why couldn’t I come or her bf? And her behavior other times makes her seem like a less than wonderful friend. I would ask DH to not go alone with her, especially if they have hardly talked in months.
Post # 9
Member
380 posts
Helper bee
Thank you. My husband said he wouldn’t go unless it was a double date (which wouldve been fine to me) but he also thinks I’m reading too much into it. I just don’t get why she would expect me to sit out of a date that my husband and Iregularly go on and her take my place. I know he would never let anything happen but she just seems off to me if she thinks that’s ok. If he wants to hang out with her in groups or double date no biggie but alone in the forest is weird to me.
Post # 10
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee
Nope. Nada. Never. No how. This bitch is totally sending off the crushing vibes. You tell your husband that this is not happening.
Post # 12
Member
3216 posts
Sugar bee
I’d expect my partner to shut this one down.
If it was a mutual friend, or at least a girl who respected you and you didn’t dislike, then yeah! Let the boy go out with a friend and get the dog some exercise. Maybe invite her over for dinner or go on a double date before she becomes your partner’s close friend.
Post # 13
Member
1381 posts
Bumble bee
@pinklemonade12: Your gut is usually on point…
I’m with you on this one, but mostly because I know that you just can’t trust anyone anymore.. especially other women..! We know how manipulative/conniving we’re capable of being..
People say “Just as long as you trust your husband.. blah blah”.. Not true! I could trust my husband to death, but there’s only so much temptation a man can handle.. he’s only human. We’re all capable of faulting.
I would discuss this with my husband. But I’d bring it up in such a way to try to get him to see my side. Turn the tables around and put him in the “What if..?” scenario. Ask him if he would be bothered if a married guy friend of yours asked you to go on a hike, etc.. I find guys respond pretty well with analogies and such.
Good luck! Keep a close eye on this wench..!
Post # 14
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
I DEFINITELY agree with you. Once he became YOUR husband there is a line that is drawn. Not to say that he is not a “free man” and that he shouldn’t be a “allowed” to go, but there is a level of respect that should be there and she is missing that. I’d definitely would have a nasty taste in my mouth when it came to her.
Post # 15
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
Idk, it depends what kind of girl she is. I kind of picture her as the burping, farting, one-of-the-boys kind, in which case I wouldn’t really feel threatened. The fact that she took your wine, drank it and smeared cake everywhere like a baby does not scream “man-stealing vixen” to me but rather “inconsiderate clutz.” It’s like she’s the female Will Ferrell or something.
The only thing that would bother me is if she is not treating me and DH as a package deal.. not acknowledging my existence or trying to do some things with both of us. That’s kind of what it sounds like she’s doing for whatever reason, and even if there is no attraction there she still needs to respect and acknowledge you. That goes for his male friends too.
Post # 16
Member
3172 posts
Sugar bee
Wtf?! I would be so pissed if I were you…
