(Closed) Is this an inappropriate thing to ask a married man to do?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
4044 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Honestly she sounds really immature but I wouldn’t assume she is out to steal your man. Maybe I am naive or thinking about my FH’s current female friends. If one of them asked him to dinner or to go hiking or something that wouldn’t bother me. I would figure they are friends and could talk about stuff they have in common (most of his friends have the same job as him, so when they get together they talk shop and I don’t need to be there for that!)

Post # 19
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper

Usually I think that if you trust your husband, there should be no cause for concern but in this case, I think it’s highly inappropriate. 

Post # 21
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Not okay. Period.

Post # 22
Member
2747 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

What she did disrespects everyone.  Your husband, you and her boyfriend. Sad.

Post # 23
Member
1992 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I don’t think the fact that she asked him to go hiking with her is inappropriate. However, I do think that the way she tries to carry on with him, without fostering a friendship with you is inapproriate.

For instance, my bestfriend is a guy.  We’ve been friends since middle school & often spend time alone together.  We go out to eat, to the movies, I crash at his place when I’m in town, & etc. This was the nature of our friendship before his fiancé came around, but honestly if she ever expressed that she was uncomfortable with it, I would totally respect that. His fiancé and I get along very well.  I made a point from the very beginning, of including her & letting her know that I respected her & her position in his life.  I always let her know when I’m in town, and we often spend time together without him.  In short, I know my interactions with my bestfriend are completely harmless, but I refuse to just dismiss his significant other, as though she doesn’t even exist.  To me, it seems as though your hubby’s friend is just dismissing the fact that he even has a wife, which isn’t cool.

On the other hand, if this were my SO & some girl from his past wanted to be alone with him on a hiking trip, I’d probably flip the hell out! I realize that might make me a hypocrite or a jealous-psycho, but it is what it is. 

Post # 24
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Yeah, not gonna happen! I’m with you on this one.

Post # 26
Member
945 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Aghh, nope. Not okay, at all. I hear alarm bells all over the place. 

Post # 27
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Someone would get punched in the throat….but that’s just me.

Post # 28
Member
1992 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@pinklemonade12:  Its a good thing that he decided not to go, but maybe he should also talk to her about boundaries too, or at least talk to her about how wierd it is that she doesn’t include you.  She is definitely not a girl’s girl.  Like PP said, she might as well be Will Ferell in a skirt, LOL. 

Post # 29
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Not okay in my book. I would just invite myself to tag along with them rather than start a big fight over it. 

Post # 30
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

nein. no way.

Post # 31
Member
4640 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

i like the idea of just inviting yourself too. 

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