(Closed) Is this an inappropriate thing to ask a married man to do?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Negative ghost rider! That would not be ok with me, if it were a double date it would be ok but not the two of them alone in the middle of nowhere.

Post # 33
Member
3450 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Oh hell no!

Post # 34
Member
731 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

That’s super weird. I don’t even split up bf/gf couples like that, even if I am super good friends with the guy and not the girl! Wouldn’t DREAM of doing that to a married couple!

This is common knowledge. Either that girl is completely socially oblivious (which may be feasible, considering the way she’s behaved in the past), or she’s trying something. Nip it in the bud, girl! You’re totally justified to not allow this.

Post # 35
Member
5117 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with PPs…she doesn’t seem to get it or she gets it very well and just doesn’t care. Either way, I wouldn’t be thrilled. Glad your husband sees it as non-issue no-go, as well. I’m not usually one to say that guys/girls can’t be friends (like a PP, I’ve got great guy friends from waaaay back and we’ll hit lunch together when we’re in town), but she seems to be playing a different angle and I wouldn’t be comfortable.

Post # 36
Member
4883 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sure!  She and your husband can go for a nice little friendly hike date.

 

Just like you and her boyfriend can go for a nice little friendly movie date.

 

That is to say:  f*ck no.  I have some guy friends that I’d consider myself pretty close to, and I wouldn’t THINK of inviting them to get together without including my husband and their wives.  It just doesn’t seem right.

Post # 37
Member
2445 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m about as liberal and non-jealous as they come when it comes to things like this. But something about the girl in your story is just not kosher. She has a live in BF and she only invites your husband instead of at least asking first for a double date or something? Or at least if she wanted to talk privately to your husband (they are old friends after all) she should have just texted you and said “hey, i have something i really need to discuss with your man, you mind if we take our dogs out to the park? we can all grab something to eat or a drink after.” The fact that she’s being sneaky is a red flag.

Post # 38
Member
1731 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@pinklemonade12:  Minus the crazy wine-stealing/cake smearing thing, it wouldn’t be a problem for me. My husband has plenty of female friends who he hangs with occasionally, just as I have male friends with whom I do the same. (I also hang out with these women in group social situations, and he hangs with my guy friends on occasion.) But that’s because our friends aren’t crazy. She sounds like a bit of a hot mess, and that’s the real concern.

Post # 42
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

No freaking way. I would just go with him (if he actually is going to go).

What does he say about it? Does he actually want to go? There is a difference between him actually wanting to go vs. her texting/asking but him having no interest. I’d be annoyed if my DH got a text like this, but I would let it go if he had no intentions of actually meeting up with her. If he said he was going to go with her, then I would have a big issue.

Post # 43
Member
3681 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Not only is the hiking alone thing not appropriate, but why is he still friends with the idiot who ruined your birthday party?????

Also, I just saw the “my Mikeee” thing.  He needs to tell her flat out he’s not hers and that she needs to stop saying that.  

Post # 44
Member
2491 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

That is not okay! I am all for male/female friendships, as long as they are platonic in nature, but there is something fishy here. I had a male friendship that I ended over something similar… too many requests to go for a drink where my Fiance and his gf of 6 years were not invited. I’m all for catching up, but that’s suspect.

Post # 45
Member
3567 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

In terms of some girl asking Fi to go hiking, I wouldn’t care and don’t think it’s inapproriate thing to do but that because I hate the woodys stuff he does and anyone who wants to go with him has my blessing.

I think it obviously has more to do with this girl and her antics I say ignore her. I wouldn’t tell your Fi not to be friends with her, but if she continues acting up I’m sure he draw some conclusions himself.

Post # 46
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Eh, I wouldn’t really have a problem with it.  They are old, childhood friends.  If they wanted to be together, it would’ve happened by now.  Clearly, there’s nothing going on, so it’s not a big deal.  If I were her, I would’ve invited you too, though, and if they have something private to discuss, like a problem she’s having, she should be able to discuss it with you there too.

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