(Closed) Is this an inappropriate thing to ask a married man to do?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 78
Member
2459 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

There is a distinct difference between going on a secluded hike with someone of the opposite sex who is not your spouse or SO, versus going to a local coffee shop to catch up with that same someone. Even though she sounds like a jerk, I’d be ok with my SO meeting her for coffee and catching up. They would be in a public place, with lots of others humans around and I’d accept that (not saying that I’d be happy about it, but I wouldn’t be upset). But a hike is a quieter event, with much fewer people around, if any. I’d say hell no to that one. It gives her a great opportunity to say or do something inappropriate. 

If my fiance were in this sitution, I’d suggest that he talk to her in a public place, if she insisted on seeing him. That way, he can gauge where their friendship is going and both parties can come to an agreement. And no one can engage in anything inappropirate due to the presence of others. 

OP, good luck with this situation. It sounds like you and you hubby are approaching it the right way and just need to work out a few details.

Post # 79
Member
2774 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Not in this lifetime.  I’m glad your husband sees that this is inappropriate.

Post # 80
Member
3311 posts
Sugar bee

She needs to invite you too. Married means package deal.

Post # 81
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Personally, if she hasn’t had a dating or romantic history with him, I wouldn’t care. My Fiance goes out to dinner with several female friends without me all the time. I dont mind it and I really dont get jealous over it. He’s free to do what he wants to maintain friendships. 

Post # 82
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Sounds to me like she is going through a rough time and wants to talk to him about it to get his advice. I wouldn’t leap to the conclusion that she’s trying to steal your man.

Maybe she’s going to confess she has a drinking problem, or her bf has been cheating on her, or something along those lines. 

this doesn’t sound like a ‘date’ to me….

Post # 83
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

View original reply
@soyjoy222: ” No freaking way. I would just go with him (if he actually is going to go)”

Now THAT might come off just a tad clingy!

Post # 84
Member
11734 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Super weird and inappropriate.  What did your husband think about it?

Post # 87
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

did hiking somehow become a date-only activity and i missed it? i dont get where walking in the woods is inheriently romantic… im not very outdoorsy i guess 🙂

also if hes gonna cheat, being at a cafe isnt any safer than the woods. the people at the coffee shop dont know hes married and if they did, they probably wouldnt care. they could make out all the wanted and risk only the annoyed sighs of people turned off by PDAs.

i am in no way trying to defend this girl, her behavior at your party was not acceptable, and if i were you i would probably not have a great opinion of her either. but i dont really think its a huge deal she didnt invite you and her bf to come along too.

Post # 89
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
@pinklemonade12:  ah, that makes much more sense to me. i get not wating to share your special spot! my cheating comment was directed at PPs who said they wouldnt be ok unless it was in public. like that ever stopped anyone from doing anything… just seemed like some people were implying the “let’s go on a hike” was the equivalent of a sock on the door handle or something. i wasnt sure where the mentality that nature walks = sex came from

Post # 90
Member
3373 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

idk my DH would go and I’d be okay with it. She has a live in boyfriend, it’s not like she’s trying to steal your husband.

Post # 91
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Nope. Not okay.  Stick to your guns!

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