(Closed) is this an okay change to make?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Guests should not be expected to open their wallets at the reception for any reason. Is there something else you can cut back so that you can afford a hosted bar? Also keep in mind that many people do not like wine of any kind. Offer what you can afford to pay for yourselves and skip what you can’t. Either way, the guests don’t need to know beforehand the type of alcohol selection (or none at all) or what type of dinner you will be having, unless they are required by your caterer to make selections beforehand. They should (and most will, at least in real life) accept graciously whatever you offer and keep any comments to themselves.

Post # 4
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

maybe host a cocktail hour and have cash bar following? you have to have a wedding you can afford! 

 

 

Post # 5
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

How exactly did this happen? Did you not ask prices before you made your plans? Did a lot more people than you expected RSVP? Did the venue change the deal? 

Post # 6
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@CorgiTales: I am wondering this too.

That said, if you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it. You could also ease back on the food to be able to provide a beer/wine bar or host a cocktail hour. (For example, go from two sides to one or from beef to chicken.)

Post # 7
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@sweetredthing: Well we can’t afford to have an open bar, so we’re going to have 3 bottles of wine per table and provide them water, assorted sodas, and coffee. But will still have a cash bar for people that want to drink hard liquor. I do feel bad and even a little embarrassed about it, but can’t really do anything about it. We’re having about 200 people and we can’t cut the guest list, cause almost 90% of guest list is a relative.

I think if you haven’t mentioned that your having an open bar, just don’t mention nothing regarding the bar.

Post # 8
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I just went to a wedding that had a cash bar and no one cared.  The Bride and Groom provided water, tea, coffee, lemonade, sodas and sweet tea.  Anyone, who wanted alcohol went and bought it.  No worries.

I wouldn’t mention on your website that you’re having a cash bar.  I don’t think it’s necessary.  We didn’t know before the wedding and it didn’t matter.  No one had a problem with it and the wedding was a lot of fun.  Hope this helps.

Post # 11
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@sweetredthing: I’m confused. If the only food you are having is 3 appetizers + fruit plate for 120 people… how is the GRATUITY 2k? That sounds super super fishy to me. As does the change in policy on bringing your own alcohol. Did you sign a contract with them when you booked the place that laid out your rights? It sounds to me like they’re trying to change the game on you and you need to stick up for yourself to get what you initially agreed to!! My venue is trying to do the same thing to us but I’m fighting it. I’m not paying a dime over what I initially agreed to pay. 

Post # 12
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

First off, why do all of you feel bad for not being able to provide an open bar?  I fyou can’t, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.

With that said, I wouldn’t do a cash bar.  I would do what you can afford and think people should be content with what you are offering.  If they don’t like it, then too bad.  If you want, ask about an additional punch to add to the drink list.  That shouldn’t cost much more if you want a little more variety.

Second, I never carry cash to a wedding.  If I wanted to buy alcohol and walked into a wedding where I didn’t know it was a cash bar, I would be miffed without advanced notice.  However, if I were provided only certain beverages and had no choice but those, I would not be miffed at all!

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