- 2 years ago
Not sure if this is the right place to post but I’m having a bit of a dilemma. I’ve been with my fiancé for about a year now and everything was so awesome at first. I never met a person so awesome until I met him. I can’t express to you how happy I am that he came into my life. Not only was he just awesome but he helped me grow into a great woman. Taught me things I never knew about and he’s always wanting the best for me.
I have a daughter from a previous 5 year relationship and that was like the worst. Mentally and almost physically abusive and it ended with him going to jail for more than 30 years. And I’m glad I left.
I was living with my parents until last month when I finally moved in with my fiancé. Mind you I never moved before in my entire life until now. But 2 weeks before we moved I woke up with the worst panic attack ever. I started to second guess our relationship I wasn’t sure if it was the right decision. I started to question my love for him and I cried for hours because I was just head over heels for my fiancé the night before and was confused on why I was feeling this way.
Then I started to think it’s because he spoke to his ex wife ( they have one kid together ) to let her know that he’s planning on marrying me and proposing and that I’ll be around her kid more. Idk if that’s what set this off because I do get self conscious about exes because of my past relationship and getting cheated on and stuff.
But it I know I love him because of the way I feel when I’m not having a panic attack. But I can’t help these negative thoughts. I’m not sure if it’s because I was moving away from from my home for the first time in 23 years or I’m stressed or what . Idk why I’m feeling like this and I want it to stop. I love my fiancé so much but sometimes I shut him off and get panic attacks when he touches me and shows me affection.
Please help I don’t want to leave him but I can’t get over this anxiety and why it came out of no where. Please help
im sorry if this sounds confusing.