(Closed) Is This As Tacky as I Think It Is?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is this tacky
    Tacky : (91 votes)
    40 %
    Fine : (132 votes)
    58 %
    Other? : (6 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2065 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Meh, as long as it isn’t the couple getting married flat out saying COME GIVE ME MONEY, I think it’s fine. Whenever someone in my office gets married or has a baby, I’m usually in charge of getting a card and bringing it to everyone to sign and usually ask if they want to give some money as a gift.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2840 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I personally think it’s fine because it is not the newlyweds who are asking for money.  It is someone else who just wants to be nice to them.  It’s a little unorthodox.  But I would only call it tacky if it were th couple asking for money.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2023 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I doubt that the individual who got married requested that the “Donations are welcome” be typed at the bottom of the email. 

    I bet it was just a co-worker trying to be nice and shower the newly wedded couple.  The good intentions are there.

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    11234 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Eh, it’s fine, and pretty common at work places. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1935 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @dlbaqua:  I’m a little confused by the word “donations” since it doesn’t really say what they are for. Because it’s work thing, I would have thought the person circulating the card maybe meant that they are going to go in on a gift, and if you want to donate towards it, that would be welcome?

    I dunno, I’m not a fan of requests for money in any way, shape, or form. But this could be a little bit of a misunderstanding. If you’re not comfortable giving money, why not see if people want to go in on a gift certificate to a nice restaurant or a spa?

    Post # 10
    Member
    855 posts
    Busy bee

    This is fine. We always do a whip-round for things like this. Leaving/Babies/Weddings. Donations are optional, but everyone does put money in.

    Post # 11
    Member
    4275 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    It is fine. I got a card from co-workers before I went on maternity leave. They chipped in on a gift card to Target. I did not know about it and it was a welcomed surprise. I liked that everyone signed the card, the well wishes made me very happy.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1091 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    It didn’t come from the couple themselves, so I think it’s fine

    Post # 13
    Member
    10453 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I think it is fine as long as the newlyweds aren’t involved. It’s basically just like a workplace shower, right? Except after the fact. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    521 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Italiano's Humble

    @MLDoddie:  I think you’re actually spot on.

    I voted tacky, before reading replies, bc whenever I’ve had this happen at work, it’s always came out that the newlywed had said something, so an email was sent to maker her “feel better”. I think I’ve only gotten it once or twice, but I recall one being where there was a big storm where she got married(up north, in the Spring). But on a smoke break, I overheard the girl and some of her coworkers(we had separate groups, in a collections agency), talking about how gorgeous it was, and how perfect everything was, but that she was about to lose her car.

    Red flags went off, and I skipped the ATM at lunch, even though I’d already cleared it with XH to take a couple bucks out and give her. I guess I could be viewed as wrong, but it seemed more like a repo collection, rather than a company office gift. Especially since her conversation sounded the exact opposite of the “rumor” at work about the “bad weekend”.

    Post # 15
    Member
    9550 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    This is pretty common in my workplace. Althought it usually happens before the wedding/baby/whatever. Someone sends an email saying there’s a card to sign and who to give money to if you want to donate. And if you aren’t interested it’s as simple as deleting the email. Usually the money goes towards a registry gift or a gift card. We usually have a shower where everyone brings food and has lunch together but I honestly find those awkward most of the time so I wouldn’t miss it.

    Post # 16
    Member
    3692 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I think it’s fine as long as it’s not the couple asking for money.  We got a card and gift card from DH’s coworkers when we got married.  He contributed when the office got together for a gift card for another coworker when she had a baby.  

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