Post # 1
Fiance is going on his Bachelor Party in Vegas the day after Christmas and coming back the day before New Year’s Eve. I can’t take that much time off of work, but my Maid/Matron of Honor suggested we do something the Friday before New Year’s Eve and come back the same day as Fiance (so, 3 days).
I would like to do something like a mini-getaway, but I don’t want to overwhelm my girls with cost or time away from home. I’ve kept everything else to a minimum ($99 Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, buying their jewelry, shoes, hairdos, etc). I was thinking of a 3-day trip to New Orleans, Miami or Atlantic City (we’re in the Tri-State area).
I have a couple of concerns… I think air travel during that time might be a bit of a nightmare. I also don’t want people to have to be away from their loved ones during such a Holiday-intensive time. I also thought maybe people would be overwhelmed with money-related things, with it being the day after Christmas.
I would ONLY like to do a 2-night getaway if we found an affordable deal, as I don’t want it to be a huge burden/expense and of course, it would never be mandatory, but I wouldn’t want anyone to feel left out. Do you think this is asking too much?
Post # 3
I wouldn’t feel comfortable asking for that. Looking at flights from NY to NOLA for those days it’s about $370pp plus they would have to split yours as well as hotel/drinks/activities/etc. I know that would be too much for my bridesmaids to spend.
Post # 4
I think you need to talk to your girls and find out where they are financially and see if it’s something that they would be interested in doing.
Post # 5
If you want to do this, you should pay 100% of your own expenses and ask your BMs individually if they are comfortable with the expense.
Post # 6
Yeah, I do think that might end up being too much, if your BMs have to watch their budgets at all. Is there a place you could go where you wouldn’t have to fly? Or could you do something over a random weekend in January (without taking days off), when prices tend to have dropped a ton?
Maybe, though, they’re all crying for an excuse to get away and would love the idea… could you float the idea to them and get a rough idea of what kind of event everyone is up for?
Post # 7
I think you’d have to ask your BMs and those you want to invite. It’s really hard to judge, some people would be all for it and some would rather not spend the money. And you’re right, it money can be tight for people around the holidays.
What I would do is put together a list of options and apporximate costs for each. You can have one option for each of the cities you listed plus one that was just one day/evening thing. Then have your Maid/Matron of Honor send it to your BMs and ask them what they think. I don’t think it’s too demanding to ask, it’d only be demanding if you got upset if they decline or would rather to a cheaper and one day thing.
Post # 8
Atlantic City is a short drive and perfect for a 3 day bachelorette. That’s where we had mine, we did a day at the spa, a nice dinner at Bobby Flay’s restaurant, and a fun night out dancing. Since we carpooled there and shared a two-bedroom suite with a kitchen/living area the cost really wasn’t bad when we split it, plus people brough along food and we made breakfast in the suite & brought plenty to drink. Everyone could decide what they wanted to spend at the spa, some people just limited it to mani/pedi, others had the whole she-bang.
Post # 9
Yeah, I think you guys are right. I think flying is a tough thing to ask of people. It just drives me crazy that guys can get away with a 5-day trip to Vegas and we have to do a one-night thing, which I would still be grateful for, but it’s like we just have more practicality or something.
Post # 10
@csteen85: I wouldnt go only because of the time of year, between Fiance and I we have so much family things going on during that time and its not something Im willing to miss because Christmas time and family mean the world to me (its my fave time of year), any other time Id totally be up for it though!
Post # 11
@csteen85 Yeah, I don’t really know why guys tend to be totally cool with spending a lot more money than girls on a bachelor party. Part of it is that being a groomsman is typically less expensive than being a bridesmaid, but part of it is just this mindset that they want to feel rich and powerful for a weekend. I’m generalizing, obviously, but that’s what I’ve observed.
Does it have to be New Year’s weekend? Flight costs probably plummet in January.
In general, I’d just ask your bridesmaids to be honest about what they’re cool with committing to. A friend of mine recently had a Vegas party and lots of our friends were honestly, legitimately into it, and were fully aware of how expensive it would be going in.
Post # 12
Personally I think destination bach parties are too much to ask. If your bridesmaids suggest it and are ok to pay then thats fine but otherwise no.
Post # 13
Since your Maid/Matron of Honor is suggesting it maybe she has already had a discussion with the other girls and they like the idea, planning something like that now at least gives time to save. I wouldn’t rule it out, but I would talk with your girls and find out their opinion on it, if they cant do it then let it go and do something else.