(Closed) Is this asking too much of parents?

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Is sending a picture or skype asking too much of parents?
    Yes, parents are already stressed enough as it is! : (24 votes)
    17 %
    No, parents should be able to snap a pic with their iPhone and text it to you : (120 votes)
    83 %
  • Post # 32
    Member
    5876 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    My thought is that people who can’t say thank you don’t deserve to get presents.  I’m not crazy about how you say thank you – a quick hug and a thanks if we are there in person, an email, a text, a thank you card.

    I stopped sending gifts to a niece who lives across the country when I’d never recieved a thank you or acknowledgement of any sort from her parents after several yeras of giving thoughtful gifts.  

    Post # 33
    Member
    719 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    If you’re too busy to write a quick thank-you note (or email, since Heaven knows people don’t have time to walk to the mailbox these days) or a phone call, or take a picture, you need to simplify your life, plain and simple.

    Teaching your children to express gratitude is really important. I can still remember my mom pulling out the pads of “kid-friendly” thank you paper she had, and letting me choose which one to send to Aunt So-and-So for the present, and then me sitting down at the table and doing it. As a kid I hated it, but as an adult, I appreciate the lesson. (I finished all our wedding thank-you notes within two weeks – thanks Mom!)

    People say they are “too busy” for this or that, but I sometimes find they just making different choices with their time. It’s unfortunate.

    Post # 34
    Member
    2023 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @MrsEdamame:  I was brought up to send thank you notes so atleast a thank you would be appropriate so you can feel like the child enjoyed his/her gift. I love taking photos of people opening gifts so it would be nothing for me to take a pic and text it to you.  We also have skype and ooVoo so we can chat with our families since we live 2-3 hours from them.

     

    Post # 35
    Member
    6040 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

    @MrsEdamame:  I think the most I would do is to send a text saying “DS  loves the toy you got him! thank you so much!”  or the next time I spoke with you I would say that. If things are mailed I do have DS call the gift giver and say thank you. But I don’t send photos with the toy or anything. I think it’s on you to ask for things like a skype date or something to see the kids live. My sister facetimes me regularly and always asks to see my son. I wouldn’t be like “hey julie im going to skype you so you can see matthew!” to me that would feel like I was forcing a visit on someone. But if it’s requested Im more than happy to do it.

    Post # 36
    Member
    1531 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @MrsEdamame:  I bought best friends babies blocks for one of their firsts – I don’t remember if it was birthday or for christmas.  my friend would always send me pictures of her boys playing with the blocks.  She actually just sent me a pic and her boys are turning 3 in jan!

    We’ve gotten our nephew tons of outfits, baby toys, blocks, a blanket, and a silver piggy bank.  We’ve never gotten a picture of him with any of our gifts.  We got thank you cards, but never see him in action playing with or wearing any of our gifts.  Both my bff and my SIL live out of state. Just shows how people are different…who knows maybe my SIL and her husband dont like the clothes we bought for their son.

    Post # 37
    Member
    1531 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Just to add on – when we have children, I will absolutely have my kids make thank you cards or pictures to send to anyone that gives them presents.  And I will send pictures to family and close friends regularly!

    Post # 38
    Member
    971 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    So I have family that is very wide spread..with lots of young children sprinkled all around the country..and I have never heard of this…=/ personally (and not to be rude at all I promise) I don’t get why it’s so important to see them using the toy? I completely get wanting to see the kids via skype or pictures ect..but why is the toy important? It seems like you communicate with the families with some regularity so they have expressed gratitude for the item, and said the kids love the items…I guess I just don’t know why you need more validation..because that’s kind of how it seems and again I do not mean that in a rude or hateful way. 

    It was very kind to send them the items, and yes a thank you card might be nice, but again it seems like you’ve been verbally thanked..did they put the kids on the phone to say thanks? I know in my family we never expect thank you cards from children. The only time I expect a thank you card is from an adult in a situation such as a graduation (HS or college), wedding shower, wedding, baby shower. Things like Christmas where everyone is sending gifts to everyone…no IMO thank yous are rediculous at that time and would never expect one, and that is my stance on birthday gifts as well. I have never expected or recieved a thank you card from a birthday or christmas gift. A vocal thank you yes of course but a card seems useless to me personally. Unless it’s a special event. 

    Anyway I hope that doesn’t come off as rude, just offering a different opinion. I do hope that you get the pictures because it seems very important to you and I will say that because it seems important to you the parents should just do it. 

    Post # 39
    Member
    971 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Oh I also want to say it absolutely shouldn’t have taken them so long to even mention the gift I just saw that and no that’s just wrong they should’ve at least called to thank you as soon as they got the gift. Wow. Sorry I missed that before

    Post # 40
    Member
    1088 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    My niece lives 3000 miles away right now, and every gift I have sent her got a picture back without me even having to ask!  It’s just nice to see your gift being used or worn.  There’s no reason they can’t do so after a whole month.  And to not even tell you the gifts were well recieved? 

    Post # 42
    Member
    971 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @MrsEdamame:  I get that then for sure. =/ I’m sorry it stinks being away from family we love so much. 

    Post # 43
    Member
    89 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I don’t think you are asking too much. We didn’t always write thank you notes as kids, but my parents would often make us go out of the way to wear something or play with something someone gave us in front of them when the opportunity presented itself. It shows their gift is appreciated. In fact, I’m convinced that my grandparents bought us so much clothing because they didn’t think we owned anything beyond what they gave us as gifts, lol.

    In fact, this would be worlds easier to do with facebook…if Auntie got you a shirt, then you’re wearing it the next time we do something facebook photo worthy (like feeding the ducks at the pond) so that I can post cute pictures plus show the aunt that kiddo is wearing the shirt. Rainy day? Pull out the coloring book that your uncle gave you and I’ll snap pictures of you having fun.

    I think people just don’t think about this stuff and that while the gift giver doesn’t necessarily need validation, they appreciate knowing their gift isn’t collecting dust in a closet.

    Post # 44
    Member
    1440 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I think that if three gift giver isn’t there for the gift opening and an in person thank you, a quick note is in order. In terms of pictures, I think it depends on the gift and relationship, I don’t know if I’d send a pic for everything unless I knew the person really likes photos.

    Post # 45
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I do think children should be taught to say thank you and they learn that from their family.

    But honestly I think it’s ridiclous to make your child skype and or photograph every single gift they are given. I have in the past gotten pictures from friends and my brothers for gifts for my neices and nephews. But I think it’s excessive to demand a skype and or pictures for the gifts, and add in other family members who live far away it would be too much.

     

    Post # 46
    Member
    3028 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @FutureMrsHallam:  +1 a card/call/text yes, but a picture or skype is too much for busy parents to ask.

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