Post # 1
Is it bad ettiquette to give thank you notes to guests at the end of the wedding reception? I’ll explain further…
My Fiance and I are only going to be in the UK for about three weeks before our wedding (we have to be there for legal reasons) and will probably be leaving a few days after to return to Nicaragua. I am considering giving thank you notes out at the end of the night, because the postal service in Nicaragua is rubbish, so if I sent them out from here I highly doubt they’ll get to the recipients. Also, I don’t want to leave my family in the UK the responsibility of if sending them out when Fiance and I have left, that’s not right at all. So would you find it rude if you were given your thank you card at the end of a wedding reception?
Post # 2
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
Mrs_Purple: I don’t think it would be rude … But I would find it odd. The only thing is if guests are giving you gifts then you are not able to specifically mention said gift in the thank you card. Are you permanently moving there? If there are no gifts could you not just put all the cards in a post box after the wedding before you leave?
Post # 3
This happened to us and I found it kind of rude and thoughtless because they had not opened our gift yet. They gave everyone the same preprinted thank you which just seemed… Meaningless.
However, their situation was nothing like yours. How many people are attending? If it’s a small number perhaps you can write them out quick before leaving? Otherwise can you call people up and thank them verbally if you’re worried about the mail system?
Post # 4
I imagine it wouldn’t be rude for the guests who mailed their gifts in advance and you’d already opened them. If anyone brings a gift to the wedding and you haven’t seen what it is yet, then you’ll have to write that person’s thank you note the next day and mail it then.
Post # 5
Mail them from the UK, after you’ve opened the gift. Then you can thank them for their specific gift and for celebrating with you yesterday, or whatever day it is. No one enjoys pre-printed, non-personalized thank you notes. They’ve taken the time and thought to choose and purchase your gift, so you have to show them the same courtesy, in return.
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
Giving a thank you note without opening the gift would be too generic and impersonal. Could you send them after opening the gifts, while you’re still in the UK?
Post # 7
Honestly. I think it sounds like a really good system for your situation.
Post # 8
I would find it off putting. The thank yous should be personalized to each guest/couple/family thanking them for the gift they gave you, so you’d have to know what the gift was and have time to write the note after opening, not exactly feasible at a reception. You say you’ll be in the UK for a few days, I recommend knocking them out before you leave.
Post # 9
It is rude.
Thank yous must be personalized. Since you wouldn’t know that the gift is at the point of giving out the notes, they would just be a pre-printed, non specific, card. I wouldn’t even call them thank you notes.
If you are very worried about the mail system, you can either 1) get them done before you leave the UK and into the post 2) Send them to someone from your home to the UK and have someone drop them in the post.
Post # 10
Mrs_Purple: I think the best option would be to mail them right before you leave. People will want to know that you got their gift and that you love it!
It won’t take long to write them, then you know they’ll arrive.
Post # 11
Thank you for all of the responses. Fiance are living in Nicaragua, we’re both women so getting married here is impossible. I’m from the UK, my family are still there, so we’ve decided to get married there. We will only be there a few days after the wedding. We’re not having a registry and to be quite honest I don’t know what to do about gifts either, but that’s a different thread (how can we politely say that we don’t want gifts? Because I don’t know if we’re going to be able to bring them back in our luggage with us etc) there are so many things to consider
As as far as the invitations are concerned, I was going to personally address them all before the wedding, so in that way they will be personal. I mostly want to thank people for coming, because as I said gifts are not important to us, however if we are given gifts of course I’ll say thank you. I just want to handle this as politely as possible, so thank you for all your responses
Post # 12
Mrs_Purple: So for your specific situation, I would prep the thank you cards ahead of time thanking each guest or couple for coming, but don’t give them out at your wedding, mail them the next day. I think it’s nice to receive a thank you card in the mail. IF anyone gives you a gift, perhaps call them before you leave the UK and thank them that way?
Post # 13
I would write part of them ahead of time with the typical “thank you for coming” bit and address/stamp all the envelopes. Then after the wedding I would add in the personalized part about their specific gift.
Post # 14
What aboue emailing thank you notes? I’m sure there is some etiquette rule against this but just throwing it out there
Post # 15
Mrs_Purple: It’s against etiquette to give thank you notes for people who attend, but don’t give a gift so I think you’re overthinking this.