Even though, way back then he did all he could to make me feel good, or better if he messed up (like when he kicked my out of the house the day the ex came to pick up her stuff) I never felt completely…. like I trusted what he was telling me.
I never trusted his break up story, I firmly believe that he cheated on her to this day and I always have. His recent actions would back up my suspiscions. i just didn’t want to be a debbie downer so I shoved those feelings down, but they never went away.
Some of the stuff he did to me in Thailand was so incredibly cruel, I won’t even get in to it. But some he did was extremely dangerous too.
and I am pretty darn sure the ex wouldn’t take his dog. They do not speak.
It was a destination wedding/honeymoon. It’s bought and paid for, no refunds.
@Keisha In Love:
He actually did write me back after that last really mean email and said (and I quote) “you know, it would really be a lot easier on me if you just stay there and take care of my shit until i return. Once I do I will help you move. You can pack in the meantime”
So I kind sorta want to fuck him over but I know that it’s not in my own best interest.
I think I will have to suck up my pride, stay, do a really good job of holding down the fort (like I have since June!!) and pray he will give me some money towards the trip, or let me stay here for a few months to recoup the loss.
Really funny thing is the only thng I still have access to is all his bank accounts. He just got paid, i could run him dry and GTFO tonight as his deployment pays are healthy. But if I did this his payments/mortagage, etc, would bounce and I am just not sure I’m that mean
And thank you thank you thank you. Words of strength, understanding and encouragement are greatly needed atm.
As normal as I might sound on here I am anything but. Ive gone from being physically ill, to contemplating suicide, to taking sleeping pills 24/7 so I can stop thinking. Now even they don’t work and I am having panick attacks even in the middle of sleep. I have not eaten nor gotten out of bed since Tuesday. Right now I honestly do not see a light at the end of this tunnel and I feel like I might not make it through.