(Closed) Is This Cheating? What Should I do! :( (long post..sorry)

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 182
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

My sincere apologies…..  I am so sorry that this has happened to you. 

 

How long is he deployed?  I ask because perhaps you can stay at his house for a few months while you two get your affairs in order? That way, you save money for an apt. and the dog doesn’t have to be put in a kennel right away.

 

 

Post # 183
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Thinking of you!! Stay strong…

Post # 184
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’m so sorry. That’s horrible what he did to you. You deserve better than that. Move out, call your vendors, and leave the dog with someone else.

You will find someone who treats you like you deserve to be treated.

Post # 185
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t post much on here, but I read the whole post and im so sorry!! Im in Kingston,ON so if you ever need someone to talk to or just to get out of the city for a day or two send me a message!

Post # 186
Member
32 posts
Newbee

I am so sorry you are going through this!! Don’t for a second let him convince you that this is your fault. Absolutely not. 

Give yourself credit for your instincts.  You may not have followed your first instincts 🙂 but that is okay bc his actions now confirm what your gut feeling was and should confirm your decision to leave.

Pawn your ring.  Whatever you do.. don’t keep it.  Letting go of the ring means letting go of him.

Grieve. Be angry.  But overall, remember that you deserve so much more than what he could give you or anyone else.  I am sad for him because I reallly feel like he won’t be able to have a happy relationship with anyone right now.

Lots of hugs to you!!  I promise you will find someone that will give you all the things you desire and want in a relationship and you will be thankful you did not marry this guy

 

Post # 188
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I just read this whole thread and I’m SO sorry this all happened. I echo what other bee’s have said though – be glad it all came out now before the wedding and not after marriage and kids!

Big hugs! I’m actually an Ottawa bee, so if you need anything let me know :). You will survive this!

Post # 189
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1999

@WasiDuped/OneEleven – So sorry you are going through this.  You must be experiencing so many emotions right now.  If you are a woman of prayer, I would ask God for guidance and strength right now.  I will pray for you too.  Keep in mind that 2012 will be a new chapter in your life!  HUGS!!!

Post # 192
Member
1295 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@WasiDuped: I am so sorry this is happening!!! 

I know you said you’ve paid for the wedding/honeymoon but is there any way that your travel insurance covers any refunds or exchanges? Maybe you can change it to somewhere else and go with a friend and just enjoy yourself (ETA: to get away from everything since going to the same place as your honeymoon/wedding would be too paintful)? 

Post # 193
Member
3195 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1999

@WasiDuped: You can whine as much as you want, dear!  I realize it was supposed to be the year of “the wedding”, but it also would’ve been the year of “divorce” for you too. 

Post # 194
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I would seriously think of revenge in this case…honestly, he is a whole another level of douchecanoeish the likes of which I have never seen! Screw him and his house, I would demand me buy me out, and then tell him to go take a flying leap off of a cliff!

 

I am SO mad for you! what a POS!.

Post # 195
Member
5191 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I am so very sorry. You are in your pwn personal hell right now, and nothing that anyone says or does will make it better. But it WILL get better. Give yourself permission to grieve, minimize contact with him, save as much money as possible, and get ready for a fun vacation with one of your girlfriends. You will get through this and be stronger for it. One day you will be able to look back and say “I sure dodged that bullet!”

But for now, it’s okay to be heartsick. And it’s okay to get yourself in some therapy. Panic attacks, sleeping pills, and depression are sucking the life out of you. Do yourself a favor and make a call to get a lifeline to sanity. Use the little energy that you have to get some professional help. He has done a serious mind f*ck on you, and a pro can help undo that damage.

Post # 196
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You WILL make it through. One year from now, you will look back on this not as the time your dreams of having a family fell apart, but as the time you dodged the BIGGEST freakin bullet out there. You will be APALLED that you thought, at one point, that this bastard was worthy of you. I promise you. It WILL get better.

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