(Closed) Is this considered verbal abuse ? Serious question here.

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 166
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

thisbeehides:   i was in a relationship like this for 3 years. It will become more frequent, he will start breaking things, he will say infreasingly hurtful things. He will move to physical violence. He would spit in my face or push me against the wall…or hit the wall beside me, but “he never hit me.” It’s abuse.

If you need to talk, just pm me. The best thing I have ever done was leave the situation and focus on my own health and well being.

Post # 167
Hostess
9615 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

thisbeehides:  Any updates? 

Post # 168
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

katyalanalove:  know what? I cry when I get upset, frustrated, mad, etc., but so does my husband! Crying as a reaction to an emotion is not a male vs. female reaction, it is a human reaction! Do not make an excuse for an abuser.

Post # 169
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Has anyone heard from the OP? Hope she and her children are some place safe 

Post # 170
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

thisbeehides: If your husband was screaming at you, your children were NOT sleeping. For their sake and yours, please leave. Your children deserve more than this.

Post # 171
Member
445 posts
Helper bee

I know this is difficult and you’ve been getting a lot of appropriate and correct advice about leaving this man, but when I saw your comment about you having children I had to say something. You are doing them the biggest disservice possible by remaining with him. I had a father who was horribly abusive, yet extremely charming and beloved by many. My mother was verbally and physically abused by him and never left. She had people who could help her and many knew what was happening (including police, members of our community, etc.). She didn’t leave. She was too afraid. And because of her inaction I suffered for so many years. I suffered in so many ways. Do not do that to your kids. I hate my father, but I hate my mother even more for her inability to leave. I understand it’s hard, but lots of people leave their abusive significant others. Find a supportive community and free your children from the inevitable pain that will happen if you stay with this guy because trust me, he will not change. He will not get better.

I am lucky and I had other peoples’ families and my school and stuff to take care of me, so I grew up just fine. But there is no excuse for parents who don’t put their kids safety first. Don’t be one of those parents.

Post # 172
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

thisbeehides:  I feel really sorry for you. My sister dealt with some and still does very terrible verbal/physical abuse from her sons sperm donor. I truly hope you get some help from this.  

Post # 173
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 1994

Run! ! It’s only going to get worse. Don’t wait for verbal to turn physical. 

Post # 175
Member
4839 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

thisbeehides:   Abuse survivor here.  Yes, honey he will change.  He will get worse, the abuse will get worse and most likely more physical.    

Please do some reading and educate yourself on domestic abuse.  He is a typical abuser, especially the part about placating you after – he is doing what every abuser does to hang on to their victim.  It is easier for him to try to keep you, than to go out and groom a new victim

Find out where the women’s shelters are, keep money aside, and I hope you find the strength to leave this dangerous man before he harms you physically.

What he is doing now is verbal and emotional abuse – no question.  

 

Post # 176
Member
3285 posts
Sugar bee

It’s one thing to have an abusive husband, but it is another to allow your children to live in such an environment and possibly think that this kind of behaviour is ok. When they are older they may think it is also ok for THEM to treat you (and their prospective partners) as your husband does. I was going to suggest packing your things and keeping your distance for a while and convincing him to go to anger management and therapy so he can see that he is and has done wrong. But with children involved – Just straight up get out of there!

Post # 177
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee

Please, dear God, get out now! He’s already threatening physical violence by raising his hand at you and hitting things near you, and threatening to break your valuable objects (phone). Please, whatever you do- ante up on your protection when you guys have sex at least until you make a decision about whether or not to stay. I wouldn’t want to decide to leave an abusive boyfriend just to find out I’m pregnant with his kid.

 

Please don’t stay with him. Reading that was terrifying. Grab enough stuff to stay somewhere else for a week and tell him why you left AFTER you’ve gone so he can’t stop you. See what time does. Maybe he realizes he’s wrong and gets better. Maybe he goes crazy angry because you left and you have your answer.

Post # 178
Member
568 posts
Busy bee

thisbeehides:  AREN’T YOU THE SAME PERSON THAT POSTED THE SAME QUESTION BUT IN A DIFFERENT SCENARIO??? THE OTHER POST WAS ABOUT THIS MARRIED COUPLE GOING TO VISIT SOME FRIENDS AND THE HUSBAND GOT REALLY MAD DOUBTING ABOUT HER AND HER GUY FRIEND SOMETHING LIKE THAT, AND HE THREW HER ON THE BED AND HIT THE WALL, AND IM PRETTY SURE YOU SOUND LIKE THAT SAME PERSON WITH A DIFFERENT POST/SCENARIO. IS THAT RIGHTTTT?????????

Post # 179
Member
568 posts
Busy bee

thisbeehides:  ALSO THE OTHER POST SAID THAT THE WIFE ASKED THE HUSBAND WHAT WAS THAT PERFUME AND HE STARTED YELLING AT HER SAYING THAT HE FUCKED SOME WHOTE IN THE CAR BLA BLA BLA AND THAT HE LICKED HER VAJAYJAY AND THAT IS WHAT IT IS, THAT SMELL, IS THIS A JOKEEE????

SORRY LADIES I APOLOGIZE FOR MY LANGUAGE BUT IM PRETTY SURE THIS IS A JOKE I DONT KNOW, THIS POST MAKES ME THINK ABOUT THAT OTHER POST, THE WAY ITS WRITTEN. 

I DONT KNOW IF ANY OF YOU LADIES READ THE OTHER POST OR KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT.

Post # 180
Member
747 posts
Busy bee

MrsDominguez21:  Yes, its the same poster.  Abuse can happen to someone more than once.  Doesnt mean its a joke.

Also, rein in that caps lock.

The topic ‘Is this considered verbal abuse ? Serious question here.’ is closed to new replies.

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