Is this dress appropriate as a guest for a summer wedding?

posted 3 months ago in Guests
Post # 32
Member
4397 posts
Honey bee

I’ve seen some great mini-dresses.  I’m usually not a fan of them, but the long sleeve/short skirt look can look very chic.  If she’s open to feedback, the I would just give her some guidelines to shoot for that will make her look more red carpet/less clubbing.  1.  Remind her she isn’t clubbing.  2.  Have her shoot for either lined dresses or fabrics that are substantial enough that they don’t let the world know if she’s an innie or an outie.  3.  Tell her to highlight one (maybe two maximum) assets, not all the assets for a formal event.  So if it’s legs, then it shouldn’t be legs and arms and bust and back simultaneously.

If that dress she picked originally had been lined and hemmed appropriately to just the tops of her shoes, it wouldn’t have been the worst thing in the world.  I wouldn’t wear it, but I’m also not a model-esque 22 year old young enough to play the ignorant card, either.

Post # 35
Member
886 posts
Busy bee

alexaj12 :  No. Just because the bride has the bridesmaids wearing white doesn’t mean it’s at all ok for anyone else who is not in the wedding party. Standard rules apply. 

There are literally any combination of a million different colors that aren’t white. Why does your sister keep trying to wear dresses that are highly inappropriate when she can literally wear 99% of all other clothes out there? Why is she trying to get away with the 1%?

Post # 36
Member
4397 posts
Honey bee

1. I think your Future Sister-In-Law is kind of an @ss for dictating what people wear to the rehearsal dinner.  Also hope there is no red wine or food with any kind of sauce served.

2.  Tell your sister to act as if she didn’t know the bridesmaids are wearing white.  Would she wear white to any any other wedding?  No (Presumably.  Hopefully.  No matter how much I personally don’t care, just dont.).  In the majority of weddings people attend in their life, they don’t have forewarning of what the bridal party is wearing.  And I would gather that most of the guests who aren’t siblings of the bride or groom will have no idea the bridesmaids are wearing white.  So the fact that she knows in this one instance what they happen to be wearing should have zero bearing on her decision and she should act as she would for any other similar occasion (which would be don’t wear white).

If she wants, she can wear the mini dress to the rehearsal dinner if she is invited to that since she is actively encouraged to wear white there.

ETA:  And are you not close enough to even your brother to ask?  And this woman is going to be at all of your future holidays and family events and you’re close enough to know details like what the bridal party is wearing when not even 95% of the guests will know that ahead of time.  So I’m not sure why you feel you aren’t close enough to ask.  But since you say you aren’t, my thought process is if you aren’t close enough to ask, then you aren’t close enough to make assumptions that it is ok to stray from social convention.

Post # 37
Member
3011 posts
Sugar bee

alexaj12 :  Your sister is lucky to have you offering advice, and it seems she is open to suggestions. I’d say no to wearing a white dress to the wedding. In fact, since she wants to wear a mini, I think the best option is a LBD, with intereresting earrings and ring, and t-strap shoes:

Post # 38
Member
268 posts
Helper bee

I don’t see anything wrong with a train as long as it’s not 2 meters long, but the cleavage does bother me. I think a sweetheart neckline would be more appropriate. 

Post # 39
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

I personally don’t care what anyone wears to my wedding, but at the same time, if it occurs to her to wonder if a dress is appropriate, then why hone in on options that are questionable? There are a million other dresses out there besides a super long satin nightie and a white dress. So I guess I’m of the opinion that if you think you need to ask, then you should probably just pick something else. 

Post # 40
Member
9342 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Good lord no. If the bridesmaids are wearing white then she DEFINITELY shouldn’t wear white.

I mean this is like etiquette 101 for weddings. Don’t wear white. Don’t dress too skimpy. And don’t match the bridesmaids or anyone else in the bridal party unless specifically requested.

Post # 41
Member
9342 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Has she looked at ASOS? They have quite a lot of cute “young” looking dresses that could still be appropriate for a wedding. 

Post # 42
Member
5184 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

alexaj12 :  If the bridesmaids are wearing white that is even less reason for her to wear white. 

I see both sides to the “wearing white to someone else’s wedding.”

There aren’t really two sides to this, the odd person wouldn’t be be annoyed by it but is is pretty much universally rude in western culture. 

Post # 43
Member
300 posts
Helper bee

I agree with PPs, she should definitely not wear white. There are lots of alternatives, considering she is young and inexperienced maybe you can send her some options within her price range to give her a better idea.

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors