Post # 1
Ok. I’m hoping this makes sense – looking for a sounding board before I drive my family and friends crazy talking about our wedding.
So I posted my dress on here when I bought it and got super great feedback which was really nice. I bought my dress super early (in February) because it was a trunk show and had a steep discount, plus there was some pressure from the sales girl which I think might be contributing to how I am feeling now. It was the second dress I tried on at my first appointment, and after trying on others, I kept comparing them to that one. I ended up buying it that day. It really is a nice dress. The sales girl offered a discount on top of the trunk discount, but it was very much a one day offer so I rushed to buy it as the regular price did not fit my budget (now I feel kind of bullied).
Also, last night I was talking to my Fiance about worrying about my dress and whether it was the right one (because I tend to second guess everything wedding related – the pressure for it to be perfect is insane) and in that conversation he pretty much described my dress to a T because his mom has openly talked about my dress infront of him. I’ve tried everything from leaving pictures around of “fake” dresses so that he would think its a different style, but he’s a smart guy. It was super important to me that it was a surprise to him and although I know he hasn’t seen me in it, and really only knows the colour/style, I got really (unreasonably) upset at the thought that he knows what it will look like, and then I became more anxious.
The dress is gorgeous, super flattering, and fits me like a glove. However it is very much not the style I ever thought I would go for (it’s form fitting rather than a ball gown) and now I am wondering if I have made a mistake? Everytime I think about it now I get super anxious – but I don’t know if its the pressure of the wedding getting closer thats finally hitting me, or do I really want a different dress. I’m considering going to try on more dresses but I think that’s a bad idea because I might just confuse myself more, and realistically I don’t want to spend any more on a dress … Is this what dress regret feels like?
On a side note – why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to have these perfect weddings? I was doing so well the first 6 months of our engagement and all of a sudden I’m questioning every decision I made and focusing on really tiny details that really shouldn’t matter. Doing my best to be laid back. I can’t wait to just be married 🙂
Post # 2
I posted my dress on here and never got any feedback at all lol.
I think you probably are stressed because you may have spent a long time imagining a different dress. I always wanted 3/4 sleeves, lace, buttons, maybe A line or more full skirt. I ended up getting a strapless with tulle and a corset. It’s very pretty but my dream dress wasn’t in my budget and this dress will do fine. I feel slightly sad at times but such is life. I know the wedding will be fine and I try to look on the bright side of things.
This dress you have sounds like it flatters you well. Focus on how beautiful the dress is that you have and imagine how stoked your Fiance will be when he sees it 🙂
Post # 3
Omg your dress is amazing!! I think you’re just stressed, and this is coming from someone who had dress regret and bought a different one. There’s always going to be pressure from the sales girls so I wouldn’t worry about that too much. I think if you’re indecisive and second guessing everything, then this is just another part of that.
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2016 - Garden
torontobride28 : do you have the link to your dress? I’d like to see it 🙂 and I bet it is beautiful regardless. It can be stress. I know a little about that when it comes to dress searching. Had a problem with that many months ago but got resolved in the end. No complaints whatsoever. Just a matter of waiting til I get to wear it 😀 so don’t stress bee.
One thing I advise you to not do is postpone the wedding because you think it’s too much for you. Get stress relieved now while you have the chance before you make BIG decisions based on your emotions.
Post # 5
- Wedding: March 2017 - Living Desert Zoo and Gardens
Just looked through your old boards and found the photo of the dress- you look FLAWLESS. No seriously, one of my favorite dresses I’ve seen for how well it fits you. I think that’s kind of the fun of wedding dress shopping is ending up with something you never would have imagined, but that speaks to you in the moment. You might be having dress regret, but I think more than anything it’s just the nerves of comparing what you thought you were gonna get versus what you ended up with. I’d really focus on how drop-dead gorgeous you look in it and what an amazing deal it was as opposed to questioning what could have been!
Post # 6
You look awesome. I wouldn’t go dress shopping again, there’s no need and you’ll get more confused. I think it’s normal how you feel, as you say we’re told this has to be the single most perfect amazing meaningful piece of clothing we ever wear, and that’s a ridiculous amount of pressure to put on one dress. In the end it’s just a dress. A lot of people end up with something different from what they imagined, and that’s ok. I never wanted a strapless dress but that’s what I ended up with! Is it my ultimate dream dress? Maybe not. But do I look beautiful and will it get the job done? Yes! I also had some pressure to buy as the sale was ending that day, but it’s alright. It means we were super efficient and got a good price 🙂 Just try to tell yourself the decision is made and locked in so you may as well stop worrying. And don’t worry about your Fiance, he may know some technical details about the dress but I bet he can’t really imagine it. There’s a lot more to a bride than just her general dress style. Perhaps you could add a beautiful long veil if you want more volume in your look 🙂
Post # 7
Stahhhhhp! Your dress is so beautiful. He might know that it’s strapless and form fitting but when he sees you with the hair the makeup the accessories… He’ll be blown away. I think it’s really hard to not have some dress regret because there is so much time between purchase and the big day but you really do look stunning. Don’t give it any more thought!
Post # 8
I saw your dress, and it’s beautiful and looks amazing on you! I always thought I wanted a ball gown dress but I didn’t like them at all when I went shopping! So I picked a mermaid. I had dress regret too as I got closer to the wedding, but I love it in my pictures/video!
Post # 9
When he see’s you with your hair done, and makeup with accessories and flowers, you will look so much more amazing than anything he will imagine in his mind.
Post # 10
I just looked up your old thread—you are a VISION in your dress. Holy crap! And, your other thread said you tried on your dream dress and it looked awful on you. I would keep the dress you have. Lots of people end up with something completely different from what they imagined.
Don’t worry about your fiancé knowing the style. Plenty of the same style dresses look nothing alike. Your fiancé will be stunned when he sees you.
Post # 11
There’s a big difference between knowing some adjectives that describe an object you’ve never seen and actually having seen the object. I highly doubt he knows what you’re dress looks like, and I doubt even more that he has any idea how you look in it.
I think you’re psyching yourself out.
ETA: I looked at the dress photo you posted previously. There’s no way he knows what the dress looks like or what you look like in it. He’s going to be blown away.
Post # 12
You are all so amazing, thank you. I actually thought I deleted the thread as I didn’t want to come off as whiny and then I got all of your lovely comments this morning so I am glad I didn’t.
princessbee1991 : thanks for your encouragement. No plans to postpone this wedding, the thought of being married is what’s getting me through 😀 haha
betterbuckley : you’re right, I did try the ball gown and hated it. I have been so fine until this point so I think it’s the stress of planning. Thank you for your kind words.
ttckp1108 : glad to hear from someone in the same position 😀 always wanted that ball gown princess look but on my short frame it was horrible. I just need to get that vision out of my head!
midcentury : thank you so much
chevaldame : thanks for your response – it’s funny how we get these images of how we think we should look, and then fall in love with something different.
Post # 13
Your dress is perfect. You’re just doing weird bridey/second guessy things that we all do as the day gets closer.
He might have an idea of what your dress looks like but he has NO idea how beautiful you look in it and I know he will be blown away. Plus, that dress has so many unique details that he can’t possibly know exactly what it looks like.
Post # 14
torontobride28 : your dress is beautiful and looks as if it is made for you!!! Whatever you choose, you will feel beautiful and special on your day. My Fiance thinks I’m going for a completely different style and let me tell you, it makes me nervous that he won’t like the dress I’ve chosen! So even if you DID change it, you would find something to worry about.
Post # 15
torontobride28 : I just wanted to tell you, that the picture of you in your Natalia gown IS THE REASON I went to the bridal salon to try it on. I originally had my heart set on the sister gown, the Natasha, but it ended up not flattering my body as well as I hoped. I’m not kidding, you are completely flawless in that dress. Even if your Fiance knows what it looks like, seeing it on YOU will blow him out of the water!