(Closed) Is this eloping or a destination wedding?

posted 4 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 2
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - State Park

I would consider it an elopement, a planned elopement. Most elopements have a witness or two. 

Do what makes you happy. My fiancé and I have tossed the elopement idea around for over a year, when we brought it up with family and friends almost all were supportive. 

As far as the BBQ idea it’s perfect. Whether we elope or have a big wedding we plan on having a BBQ reception. 

Post # 3
1919 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

beachybridemrsd2bee:  I would think of it as a private ceremony and love the idea. Take your mom and have a beautiful, private, wedding ceremony where ever you wish.

On return, you can have a small BBQ reception. “John and Jane Doe have chosen to have a private wedding ceremony. Please join (mom’s name) in celebrating the recent marriage of her daughter to husband.” Or have “us” rather than your moms name if you wish to not have a host/hostess named.

be sure to have “your presence is the only gift we request” or something similar to show you wish to have no gifts and this is not “gift grabby”.

As for how to kindly deal with the 2 family memebers who may be upset. First, know that even if you had a huge wedding… these 2 would not be happy. SOMETHING will upset them. So kindly, answer their questions but only once. “Thank you for asking and thank you for understanding that John and I wanted a private ceremony.” Honestly, they do not need an answer. πŸ˜‰

Post # 4
623 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

It doesn’t really matter what you call it. I tend to associate elopements with an unplanned marriage. My Fiance and I are getting married in Mexico next month (just us, the officiant, and a photographer). I am calling it a private ceremony since it’s planned but there’s no guests.

Oh I got the negative remarks. I usually try to lighten the mood by making a joke, my favorite defense mechanism! I say something like “yeah, well we’re a little weird so we’re doing things that aren’t quite traditional”. I’ve had my dad and grandmother seriously ask why it’s private, and I tell them that it’s something I always wanted and I strongly feel that my vows between my future husband and I are private. I’ve never had anyone push back more than that.

Yes, we’re having a big-ish get together! It started with a backyard BBQ but since we’re getting married in February, I didn’t want to wait til summer to do the reception. We got an indoor venue in March that serves amazing Italian food and we’re just having a big feast with dancing and lots of wine. πŸ™‚ We’re expecting 75 people. Our budget for this is $10K.

I communicated this to people ask they asked what our plans were. It’s not a secret or anything. Our reception invites say “We are tying the knot in Mexico on 2/16! Join us to celebrate the marriage of Mr. and Mrs. M on 3/19 at Place at Time. RSVP to blah blah blah”. And then at the bottom there’s a little banner that says “Join us for dinner, drinks, and dancing!” just so that people know what we’re going to be doing.

Post # 4
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’d call that a private ceremony. Sounds great! Good luck and best wishes!

Post # 5
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016


I eloped and will be having a vow renewal (this summer) for our 15th wedding anniversary with a few of the standard wedding traditions just because we can! πŸ˜‰

There will be snarky comments from some family members but just remember it’s about you and your fiancé doing what makes you happy! πŸ˜‰

i think a bbq after is a is a great way for everyone to come together to celebrate your marriage.

Post # 7
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I am calling ours a “destination elopemnet”.  At first, we thought we’d let close friends know the place, day and time at the all-inclusive jamaican resort we’re going to for our “wedding-moon”.  But then it seemed like some people who really can’y afford it were thinking of going into hock to try to go.  And then FI’s immobile, ill mom wanted to try to show up.  And we figured his sister (sometimes overbearing, judemental) would try.  And that would mean lots of people upset at being left out or not “invited”.  And part of us wanting everything so simple and small is FI’s social anxiety in the first place, and his desire to NOT have his mom or sister nit-picking everything, so I am now asking everyone to please not plan on “surprising” us, based on cost for them, simplicity for us, and telling friends we’ll try to plan a big get together river trip later in the summer to get together and celebrate.

So we are “eloping” because we want it just us, but it’s planned.

Post # 10
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

beachybridemrsd2bee:  lol – Fiance and I both are artists/graphic designers.  And yes, I love desiging stuff for others but know I’d waffle forever about something for us.  I think I like a little leaving the final choice up to the client at times. 

As an option to Sandals, I can suggest where we are going – Couples Resorts, Swept Away in Jamaica.  I found it most helpful to simply ask a travel agent for some quotes about costs, and they were a little cheaper than Sandals, because they spend less money advertising.  It’s also supposed to be a bit more laid back, and less formal, which appealed to us, and I chose Jamaica because the require stay prior to marriage seemed shorted than most other places in the Carribbean.  I used tripguy.com after reading a lot of good reviews for them on Trip Advisor, and they don’t charge you anyhting, especially if you are just askin questions.  

At frist, we’d wanted to elope to the Grand Hotel in Michigan, where the movie Somewhere in Time was filmed, but for the small wedding and the stay, it was going to cost too much.

Post # 11
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I would consider your idea a planned elopement!

We are doing something similar in Hawaii.  It will just be us, an officiant and a photographer on our favorite beach.  I hope our wedding day will be low key, stress free, and 100% about us.  Feel free to msg if you’ll like any specifics!  Needless to say, it didn’t take very long to plan!

I was a bit nervous about telling people our plans and expected some push back, but we have gotten only positive responses from friends and family.  As well as a few people expressing their envy that they didn’t / couldn’t do the same πŸ™‚

Post # 12
34 posts

Sounds amazing to me. 

I would have done it but my Grandad has been waiting my entire life for a wedding and he’s really frail now so we’re having it at home. 

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