- 3 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
First of all, this email was NOT from the bride, and I don’t blame her for any of this. But this is an editted version of an email I got from the hostess of an upcoming shower. And it just rubs me the wrong way. Disclaimer: I tend to think of showers overall as kind of gift grabby, so maybe I’m especially biased. Is this type of thing normal?
[discussion of how date was picked, then the when, where, what details] <br />[registry info] <br />*For those that cannot make the shower you can either send gifts directly to BRIDE, or to my home address and I will bring them to the shower. My address is: XYZ.<br />[food details, including bottomless drinks for a set price, and a request to send the hostess the money for the food/drinks in advance, she menions that’s this is easier and cheaper than dividing the bill on the day of the shower (probably true, unless you’re like me and won’t drink)] <br />Please let me know a final yes if you can make it or not- in case anything has changed. I will also be sending a reminder email a month out, as I realize this is still rather early for a lot of people to remember.<br />Looking forward to celebrating BRIDE with you!!!<br />Best,<br />HOSTESS<br />**Also, as they say, please “be a dear and wrap in clear” as BRIDE will not be physically opening the gifts at the shower. I will be setting them up on a table tagged with who they are from. She would rather enjoy the company of her friends instead of opening gifts.<br /> <br />—–<br /> <br />It’s the parts with the “*” that bother me the most (and I did not add the astrices, those were in the original). I read it as telling people, even those who can’t come, that they are expected to send a gift. And even how to wrap them (and seriously, what’s the point of wrapping at all if it’s clear? Even if no presents are opened at the shower, I don’t understand why they can’t be wrapped the normal way and she can learn the contents of each gift when she opens them later).<br /> <br />Is this normal?? I’m not sure what to do. I’m really turned off by this, but I don’t blame the bride. We won’t be going to the wedding (it’s far out of town, and I’m pregnant and will be too close to my due date by then), so I was planning on going to the shower (and still sending a generous wedding gift). But I don’t know her friends, and being the sober one while everyone else is tipsey doesn’t sound like fun either. I’d be curious to see if there’s any reduced price for preggos who can’t drink, but given the tone of this email, I’m afraid to even ask (yes, that’s nitpicky, but between the food tab, the shower gift, and wedding gift, that’s expensive for somone who is buying baby stuff and will be trying to survive on one income (or barely more than one income once we start daycare which is crazy expensive) once baby comes). Now I’m thinking that rather than go, I’ll just see if there’s a day that we can get together and I’ll take her out to dinner instead. Would that be an okay substitute?