Post # 1
I am thinking of giving my bridesmaids a nice piece of jewlery (150 dollars, but am getting it on sale a little less), that they can wear to the wedding, but also wear after the wedding (it is not a orange or specific color that matches with a dress, but a nice neutral necklace they can wear again). I know a lot of people opinion on here is a gift for the wedding is not a gift, but almost every wedding I have been in I have gotten a piece of jewerly or a monogramed robe and feel its expected (especially when its a nice piece). I already paid for a bridesmaid dinner and am paying for a nice rehersal dinner for the bridal party. I also gave everyone options on all the getting ready things and other attire made sure everyone was in agreement for a moderately priced dress. My bridesmaids are traveling to the wedding, but so are a lot of my other guests, and besides my MoH they didnt really assist in any planning for pre-parties (some did show up to a few, but some did not come to any of them at all).
I am paying for a lot of the wedding myself, so I am stretched a little thin at this point, and I think this is a pretty expensive gift (I actually am not sure what else I would give everyone besides a gift card). Is this enough for a bridesmaid gift?
Post # 2
TBH, paying for pre-wedding functions isn’t really a “favor.” Everything you described you paid for was wedding related. I personally think a $150 necklace is very expensive, and you could buy nice thank you gifts for that amount. You mention they could wear the necklace after, but it doesn’t mean they will or that it’s their style. I think of a bridesmaid gift as a thank you. If you buy me something I need to wear to the wedding, it isn’t a thank you. Also, it isn’t a bridesmaid duty to plan your party. their job is to show up on your wedding day.
Post # 3
I gave these to my bridesmaids. Tiffany’s mini alphabet disc charm with their first initial engraved. They were $125+tax apiece for the entire necklace, pendant and chain.
I didn’t ask they wear it for the wedding, so I think if you let go of that requirement then what you’re planning on giving them would be a fine bridesmaid gift.
Post # 4
yes, i think it’s enough. whenever i’ve been a bridesmaid, all the “gifts” were wedding related (and i never once thought “ugh, how awful of Bride to have gotten me X”). the bee is very anti wedding-related “gifts”, but i think that (at least in the US) they are totally standard. you don’t need to get your ladies anything else.
Post # 5
the gift is what I’d consider expensive. It’s enough. We are spending about 40 per maid. It depends on your wedding, budget and regional culture.
But before u buy expensive stuff…are you sure they would wear them? For example, I like tear drop shaped necklaces and a friend of mine likes square. Silver and gold are both neutral but I usually only wear silver…so it can really depend.
Post # 7
Can I ask, is this an American custom? I’m Canadian (but have also been to weddings in Europe), and I’ve never heard of the bride giving out bridesmaids gifts. Usually they just treat them to a dinner or pay for hair/makeup on the wedding day. And I’m from Toronto, so it’s not like I’m from some small town, but I’ve literally never seen or heard about this until I joined the bee.
OP, take my opinion with a grain of salt since I don’t know the customs, but I would consider ANY gift to be a nice gesture. I don’t feel like it’s necessary, but even if it is wedding related, I’d still appreciate a nice necklace that I could also wear to work or on a night out.
Post # 8
we give gifts in the UK too… I assumed it was standard worldwide
I also dont get the bees hate of jewellery as gifts… I dont think you should dictate they wear it, it should be their choice but I think its ok as a gift
I think the bigger issues are gifts that SAY ‘bridesmaid’, ‘maid of honor’, ‘groomsman’ etc… as they cant be reused for anything
maybe write a nice not to go with it, or pick up a nice but not to expensive jewellery box to keep it in as an extra
Post # 9
can we see the necklace? I think it sounds like more than enoigh.
Post # 10
agree. It is a nice gift if you take away the requirement to wear it to the wedding. I just don’t consider something needed for a wedding as a “gift.”
Post # 11
If you’re going to spend that much money, why not get something they’ll really like? You can get them that, and they probably aren’t going to think “ew” but I mean… that’s a lot of money to spend on something that will almost certainly be put away and never used again.
Post # 12
- Wedding: County courthouse
Jewlery is always a nice gift…we’ll Atleast to me.
Post # 13
I think I am going to buy it (I personally would wear this besides a wedding), and maybe get them something very small on the side. I was just looking at a stack of coach wristlets I have (that I have gotten or gifts) that I never have used, and I think its nice to have a good piece of jewlery when I have to dress up for other events (and its something I rarely buy). I am not sure a better idea really for a bridemaid gift. My BMs have a ton of bags, wine glasses, totes, etc at home so maybe this will be something a little bit different. Thanks for the help!
Post # 14
I think we all have to be careful not to generalize when we are talking about customs and traditions. Canada is over 5000 km wide. Most of us only know what happens in our own local area, despite the fact that Bees will post ” In the US (UK, Canada) we do…”
Bridesmaid gifts are very common where I live. I was always of the understanding that they are to thank the wedding party for their support and for standing beside you, and they are not wedding related. Instead they are chosen for each woman’s tastes and interests, the same way you would choose a birthday or Christmas gift.
If you know that each Bridesmaid or Best Man will love your taste in jewelry,and you are not requiring it to be worn to your wedding, it is a fine gift.
Post # 15
Just because something is standard doesn’t mean it should continue to be followed. Just saying. Start a trend in your area, thank your bridesmaids by giving them a gift they can appreciate. All of the things you paid for are technically for you, since it’s your wedding. But as long as it’s a style of necklace you know she would like then you’re good.