(Closed) Is this even worth saying?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1352 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

He might just be used to ya’lls routine of you doing the dishes, maybe just ask him for help, like hey honey would you mind helping me dry these dishes?  See what he says, he might just say no problem and then it doesn’t have to be a big discussion.

Post # 4
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes. If you cook together, clean up together.  Totally fair.

Post # 5
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Definitely ask him for help. Sounds fair to me!

Post # 6
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Haha no I wouldnt say anything, you should enjoy cooking dinner together, my fiance and I looove cooking together and see what we can come up with. I dont mind cleaning up after because he does things I dont do like cut the grass, take out the garbage, clean the eavestrough, layed the new flooring in the basement, gets up with the dogs in the morning etc etc the list goes on and on, I wouldnt let dishes be a reason you guys argue, pick your battles, if you nit pick over every little thing youre in for a long bumpy ride :o)

Post # 7
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would just do the dishes haha.  Personally, I want to avoid getting into a “tit for tat” mentality with housework or anything for that matter with my husband.  I just figure, God willing it’ll be a long life together, but it could get pretty trying if we start keeping score on all this little stuff.  That’s just my take though and we don’t have much of an even division of housework and I’ve accepted that.  Consider how important it is to you in the grand scheme of things and go from there.  If you think you’ll feel resentful keeping your mouth shut then you may want to say something.

Post # 8
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with PP that you should pick your battles. I cook, clean the table/dishes afterwards (though we’ve always had a dishwasher) and grocery shop. Like @LauraRose’s Fiance, mine does a lot of things I absolutely hate doing such as picking up doggy doo outside, dealing with the trash and trashcans, and planting/pruning/watering the garden. Maybe a possible solution is to map out who does what and stick to the list, although it could be tricky arguing over what is “fair”.

 

Post # 9
Member
4416 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Haha you sound like a candidate for the book “Spousanomics.”  A friend recommended it to me and I just started reading it. It will rock your world! Approaching marriage through the lens of economics Smile

Post # 10
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Ask for help.  If he you help him cook, he helps you clean!  Sounds fair to me.

Post # 11
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@phillygirl629:  “Personally, I want to avoid getting into a “tit for tat” mentality with housework or anything for that matter with my husband.”

I agree.  OP – If you have a really busy night of homework or something, asking for help once in a while is fine.  But everytime you help with dinner he has to help with dishes feels too much like keeping score to me.

Post # 12
Member
9688 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Ask him.  Wear sexy lingerie when you ask him.  Wink

Just kidding.  Sort of. 

But I would just nicely say, “Honey, would you mind coming in here and helping me with this, please?” 

Men do this stuff.  He knows you’re gonna ask him, and he knows he should help out, he’s just biding his time.  Or maybe he thinks because he’s grilling that counts as cooking.  Yep, you should say that since you helped with cooking you also would like his help with cleaning up.  Fair is fair. 

Wear a low-cut top. 

Post # 13
Member
3452 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Ask for help or suggest that you take turns doing them.  You don’t have to keep score or anything.  You do them one night, he does the next night.  Or you do them during the week, he does them on the weekends.

Post # 14
Member
1257 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@deetroitwhat:  Exactly.

 

Just ask him to assist you. Only get upset if he declines to help.

Post # 15
Member
1281 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m just impressed he helps you cook!  🙂  The most my Fiance can do is make hot dogs.  And by make hot dogs, I mean, put them in the microwave for 25 seconds. 

 

Post # 16
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Definitely ask for help! Don’t be a nag about it, just ask and be sure to PRAISE him when he does help, so he is more likely to pitch in without you asking in the future. Men love praise, don’t they? 😉 haha

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