(Closed) Is this extremely rude? I’m in a quandry

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@SweetRose2011: That sounds like the best way to put it, and it’s very generous of you to think it out this much :).

Post # 4
Member
798 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@jo.lee: I agree 100%!

Post # 5
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would just call him and find out what he thinks. If you tell your job right now that you need the time off for a reason, they will still make you wait until a week before easter to confirm? Thats very odd and inconvenient of them

Post # 5
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would just call him and find out what he thinks. If you tell your job right now that you need the time off for a reason, they will still make you wait until a week before easter to confirm? Thats very odd and inconvenient of them

Post # 6
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I would call or email your uncle to explain your situation re: work and ask him when exactly they have to give the caterer their headcount. Most people request RSVPs at least a week or two before the caterer’s deadline because they know they will have to make some calls, so you probably have more time than the RSVP says before you have to give them a final answer.

Post # 7
Member
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I would call him, or the bride seeing as they do tend to handle things more and explain the situation. Then offer to just not eat I guess. See what she says, there might be some amazing solution you haven’t thought of (maybe they are having a “just in case table”) She will be grateful that you thought about it this much. 

Post # 9
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree with what some other PPs have said: Just give him a call and let him know what the situation is without placing the blame on him.  So instead of saying something like, “Since this is such short notice, I’m not sure if I can get the time off work yada yada yada…” say, “I’ve put in a request to get the time off work to come to your wedding because I’d really like to be there!  I just won’t know until a week ahead of time.  I wouldn’t mind if you don’t count me….[insert what you posted above], but let me know what you’d like me to do as far as RSVPing.”  Depending on the caterer/venue, he might be able to add last minute person in the week before.

Post # 10
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Agreed that you should give him a call. If you both agree that maybe you should just RSVP “no,” maybe you can get together for lunch a few weeks after the wedding for a more personal hang-out time.

Also, some weddings are planned so that there is enough wiggle room that one extra guest (or two if Fiance wants to come) wouldn’t tip the tables too much, so maybe you can ask him, even if you RSVP “no,” if there is still a chance you could sneak in under the wire.

Post # 11
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I would call him.  I had a few people that committed to no when i knew that they were really maybes, and I wanted them to feel welcome to do a last minute change of plans if their personal lives changed.  Most caterers are ready for a few extra shows or no shows.

Post # 12
Member
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

“I RSVP’d no because I don’t know but if I can do you mind if I come to wish you luck. I don’t need to be fed I just want to be there.” That way they won’t have to account for me but I can still support them?

 

Yes, this. Good idea, very thoughtful. Especially since this involves calling him, you can figure out what he thinks is best. 😀

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