Post # 1
My FI and I are trying to keep it SUPER cheap and small. We’re currently trying to buy a home so we’re trying to allocate the majority of our funds to that. For the wedding I’m trying not to go over 30 guests. Our venu is free and a JOP is marry us, I’ve picked out a very inexpensive dress at Macy’s which my mom will buy, my close friend is doing the photography for free, and our homeymoon will be free because we won a contest.
The resteurant we picked out to go to after the ceremony is not terribly expensive, and I was wondering if it’s considered tacky, in poor taste, inconsiderate, etc, if I asks my guests to pay for their own meal. Like, including something on the invitation that says “guests in attendance are welcome to join us at _______ for dinner. we ask those who may attend to pay for their own meals”
I don’t want to be offensivly cheap, but we want to keep costs as low as possible as to not lower our chances of getting our first home together.
We do not have a friend or family member with a home we could use after. The local friends and family live in small apartments, the ones who own nice homes live far out of town.
My other thought was to rent a small tent and a few tables, and set it up at the ceremony site. My friend who’s a chef already offered to cook us a great main dish for free as long as we pay for all the food, and I would get sandwich platters and stuff from Super1 Foods. I just don’t know enough about the pricing of things to tell if that’s cost effective or not.
Any help that you ladies could give is really appreciated!
Post # 3
I do not think it is appropriate to have a wedding; have a dinner and relay that the guests need to pay for their own meals. You should plan for an event for what you are willing to pay for and not expect people to chip in for it. What is your ultimate budget for dinner and the food? If you can find a restaurant in the area and do a prix fixe meal you can probably get the cost down to around 15-20 a head. @ 30 people you’re looking at around 600-750. These people are coming to celebrate YOU they should not have to pay.
Other idea is just to have cookies/coffee/tea and champagne instead of a meal.
Post # 4
How about a dessert reception? You could ask your mom/aunts/siblings to make some cakes and pies and cookies and stuff, and then have some wedding cake and coffee/tea?
Post # 5
I would recommend having a cake and punch reception after the wedding and then inviting folks to join you at the restaurant if they’d like. You should not treat the restaurant as your reception. Just an extra that they can do if they want to keep celebrating with you.
Post # 6
I think that having people to your wedding then to a resturant to pay is in poor taste. Have cake and punch after if you want to keep it cheap, have DIY appatizers, but don’t invite people then have them buy their own meal.
Post # 7
Yes, it’s rude to ask your guests to pay for their food. There’s no question about it. As the host of a reception, you should be paying, at a minimum, for the food and beverages. If you choose not to do an open bar, I would make sure your invitation indicates that a cash bar is available.
Post # 8
That is very rude…couldn’t you invite them to the restaurant but pay, or your best bet is to get your friend to cook and do the tent thing. That wouldn’t be too expensive and its definitely better than making your guests pay for their own dinner.
Post # 9
Yikes!! Do not ask guests to pay for food! If you are strapped for cash, can you do a backyard home cooked meal or BBQ? Instead of a restaurant can you find a venue that you can self-cater?
Post # 10
I agree with PP, should just do a cake/desserts and punch reception at the ceremony site. I think it’s inappropriate to have your reception at a restaurant and then ask your guests to pay for their own meal. Or just do the tent thing and pay for the food or do sandwiches (I would probably estimate you could get by on $10 per person)
Post # 11
Yes, it is too far. You cannot ask your guests to pay for their own food.
You CAN opt to not serve a meal (make sure you do the wedding & reception at a non-meal time), but don’t ask people to pay for their own. Totally tacky.
Post # 12
Yes, that’s tacky. Sorry! It’s time to decide what is more important. Saving that money or having the reception.
Post # 13
@whovian0225: Asking your guests to pay for their own meals IS offensively cheap, especially fi you’re expecting to received gifts on top of it. If you cannot afford to provide, do not have a party.
Post # 14
Definitely too far, don’t have an after ceremony meal if you won’t pay for it.
Post # 15
It would probably cost more to rent the tent than to pay for a resteraunt dinner, actually. I know that it’s still a lot of money, but $300-600 on dinner isn’t going to change your chances of buying a home in the long run, and it’s likely that you’ll be getting cash gifts from some of your guests anyways. As a fellow tiny-budget bride though, I know it’s reasonable to not want to spend that much on one day. You can have a short reception without food, just keep hanging out with your guests a while longer at the ceremony site, maybe put out a few plates of cookies or something.
Post # 16
I do think this is going to far to save money. You are your guest’s host and being the host you take care of the costs. This goes with any party people host, outside of potlucks. With only 30 people, you could host in a home and do DIY catering Costco style: salad, melon, corn, rolls, BBQ. Or, just do punch and dessert at home.