(Closed) Is this going too far to save money?

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I do not think it is appropriate to have a wedding; have a dinner and relay that the guests need to pay for their own meals. You should plan for an event for what you are willing to pay for and not expect people to chip in for it. What is your ultimate budget for dinner and the food? If you can find a restaurant in the area and do a prix fixe meal you can probably get the cost down to around 15-20 a head. @ 30 people you’re looking at around 600-750. These people are coming to celebrate YOU they should not have to pay.

Other idea is just to have cookies/coffee/tea and champagne instead of a meal.

Post # 4
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

How about a dessert reception? You could ask your mom/aunts/siblings to make some cakes and pies and cookies and stuff, and then have some wedding cake and coffee/tea?

Post # 5
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I would recommend having a cake and punch reception after the wedding and then inviting folks to join you at the restaurant if they’d like. You should not treat the restaurant as your reception. Just an extra that they can do if they want to keep celebrating with you.

Post # 6
5540 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think that having people to your wedding then to a resturant to pay is in poor taste. Have cake and punch after if you want to keep it cheap, have DIY appatizers, but don’t invite people then have them buy their own meal.

Post # 7
13902 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes, it’s rude to ask your guests to pay for their food.  There’s no question about it.  As the host of a reception, you should be paying, at a minimum, for the food and beverages.  If you choose not to do an open bar, I would make sure your invitation indicates that a cash bar is available. 

Post # 8
670 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

That is very rude…couldn’t you invite them to the restaurant but pay, or your best bet is to get your friend to cook and do the tent thing. That wouldn’t be too expensive and its definitely better than making your guests pay for their own dinner.

Post # 9
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yikes!! Do not ask guests to pay for food! If you are strapped for cash, can you do a backyard home cooked meal or BBQ? Instead of a restaurant can you find a venue that you can self-cater?

Post # 10
9806 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I agree with PP, should just do a cake/desserts and punch reception at the ceremony site.  I think it’s inappropriate to have your reception at a restaurant and then ask your guests to pay for their own meal.  Or just do the tent thing and pay for the food or do sandwiches (I would probably estimate you could get by on $10 per person)

Post # 11
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yes, it is too far. You cannot ask your guests to pay for their own food.

You CAN opt to not serve a meal (make sure you do the wedding & reception at a non-meal time), but don’t ask people to pay for their own. Totally tacky.

Post # 12
1341 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Yes, that’s tacky.  Sorry!  It’s time to decide what is more important.  Saving that money or having the reception.  

Post # 13
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@whovian0225:  Asking your guests to pay for their own meals IS offensively cheap, especially fi you’re expecting to received gifts on top of it. If you cannot afford to provide, do not have a party.

Post # 14
9829 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

Definitely too far, don’t have an after ceremony meal if you won’t pay for it.

Post # 15
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

It would probably cost more to rent the tent than to pay for a resteraunt dinner, actually. I know that it’s still a lot of money, but $300-600 on dinner isn’t going to change your chances of buying a home in the long run, and it’s likely that you’ll be getting cash gifts from some of your guests anyways. As a fellow tiny-budget bride though, I know it’s reasonable to not want to spend that much on one day. You can have a short reception without food, just keep hanging out with your guests a while longer at the ceremony site, maybe put out a few plates of cookies or something.

Post # 16
1476 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I do think this is going to far to save money. You are your guest’s host and being the host you take care of the costs. This goes with any party people host, outside of potlucks. With only 30 people, you could host in a home and do DIY catering Costco style: salad, melon, corn, rolls, BBQ. Or, just do punch and dessert at home.

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