(Closed) Is this how men truly think?

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: What do you think about this writer's opinion on successful wives?

    He's a misogynist dickhead.

    He is absolutely correct.

    He may have some valid points. Expand below in comments.

  • Post # 18
    Member
    7627 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

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    @MarriedToMyWork:  Not really sure what your degree or how many hours you work has to do with this… Anyways, I really think my issue with this post is how OP addressed the topic. To me it seems as though she thinks it’s wrong that her husband wants her to work. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    1987 posts
    Buzzing bee

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    @missmess:  Sure, it was written for an unevolved audience–however, I would disagree that it moves away from the “you don’t need a trophy” argument.  It’s just arguing that you need a better trophy with more features. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    7627 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

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    @azzie17:  Oh I’m sorry I’m not good at reading sarcasm. You know because it’s soooo easy to know when someone is being sarcastic on the internet.

    Post # 21
    Member
    2890 posts
    Sugar bee

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    @MarriedToMyWork:  I had the same feeling reading this. I mean, I know it does boost my fiancé’s ego, to some point, knowing I am educated and will have a career, contribute to our finances, etc. On the other hand, I find it quite offensive for both working and non-working/stay-at-home women, because like you said, the article presents the woman’s value essentially in an economical perspective, it’s what she brings home that makes her worth… I can’t agree with that. 
    View original reply
    @azzie17: said it is a partnership, I believe it is too. The couple chooses what’s best for them, according to what they value as a couple and what their goals are. Thankfully, not all men see their wives as a trophy/objectify them like that. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    1987 posts
    Buzzing bee

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    @MrsBeck:  I responded in that way because you were criticizing the OP [ETA: and her reaction to the artlcle] on the grounds that she was someone who doesn’t want to work.  I was pointing out that there are multiple grounds on which to criticize this article and that a woman who does the things that are praised in this article (like attain education and work) could also find it problematic.  However, in a different post you agreed (or at least I read your comment that way) that one could also look at this article as arguing that a woman is meant to solely provide benefits to her partner, so I think we might not have as much disagreement on this matter after all. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    292 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I was writing a long rant about just how misogynistic this dude is, etc, and how he probably wouldn’t be happy even with a wife who satisfied all of his conditions (hot, saves lives, etc) because he’s so very very misogynistic but honestly, I just don’t have the energy to finish it right now.

    I will note, however, that my Fiance pointed out just how disgusting this dude’s conception of what women should be and how we should act, with just a brief summary of the article.

    Honestly, how is this dude gonna think his wife is hot if she doesn’t put on the required amount of “natural” makeup and do the requisite lunge and crunches to keep herself toned (so she looks “like she cares”) and gets her nails done (so the blood and gore of the ER – where she saves peoples’ lives – isn’t visible when he gets home and wants his super-hot doctor wife arm candy to rattle out facts to impress his boss)? But, of course, these are all silly fripperies that only non-serious, worthless women do, so his wife should just naturally walk around perfect, perfumed, and ready to perform on command.

    Gah.

    Post # 24
    Member
    7627 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    View original reply
    @MarriedToMyWork:  You’re right, we don’t really have a disagreement on the article. I do agree that the way he wrote it makes it seem as though women are just there to benefit their partner. I just think that the OP should have addressed this instead of wording her original post the way she did. She says she was being sarcastic but it’s rather hard to understand sarcasm when you are reading a post written by a stranger (as opposed to talking to them and actually hearing the sarcasm). This is why I responded the way I did. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    166 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I get the impression that the author is writing this article to men who are uncomfortable with their wives/fiancées/girlfriends being more successful in the workplace than them. Therefore, to reach & influence his target audience, he will need to speak in language they will understand. In other words, make it all about the benefits to them! I don’t think his intentions were bad, and honestly a lot of the benefits he lists apply just as easily for women as well (e.g. Having a smart husband whom you can hold a conversation with is also better for the wife in the long run, because his looks are gonna fade eventually too!)

    Post # 26
    Member
    2664 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

    @azzie17:  I’d say I’m definitely smart, and I could be successful if I wanted to, and I will be. I just haven’t graduate college yet (one more year!). I’d like to be successful for a while, and make some money and save up, but once I have kids, I’ll be a stay at home mom until they’re in either high school or go off to college. What I do after that is still unknown. It’ll depend on too many factors. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I don’t think there anything wrong with what he said, in fact if a women wrote an article like that speaking about the qualities she wanted her mate to have no one would raise an eyebrow.

     

     

     

    If a guy wants someone who is working and has their own career, why is that a bad thing?

    Quite frankly if I met a guy who wanted to stay at home all day working out, getting hair cuts, and just hanging out I not going on a second date with him for sure. I don’t want the responbility of essentially paying for someone else to sit on their ass all day. It seems massively unfair to me.

     

    For the record for now and probably for the next year I am techincally staying home and freelancing and consulting for different projects part time. I don’t know how someone can lose their mind staying at home all day just pampering themselves. I am very much feminist and it’s given a little bit of axniety, because somedays when I’am not busy I just clean the house and cook dinner for my husband. So I would hope anyone who stayed home would take a mssaive responbility for the household espically if they aren’t home raising kids.

    I’ve also taken this time to offer my service and work on different projects for nonprofits, in additon to doing some grunt work like feeding the homeless. I am also going to Thailand to work with girls who been saved or run away from sex trade industry. I figured if I’m not going to work for the next year or so I shoudl take all of these oppertunities to donate more time and effort to worthy causes rather then just staying at home doing next to damn near nothing.

    But to each their own, if someone is happy with being and seeks to be trophy wife then that is their prorogative.

    Post # 28
    Member
    2890 posts
    Sugar bee

    @azzie17:  From your original post : maybe there are other options between retiring now and working full time. It depends on your age too, I suppose. Wanting to retire at 50 instead of 60 or 65 is understandable if you can afford it, but if you’re 30 I mean … I would expect my SO to contribute to our savings and retirement account as long as he can and I know he expects the same from me, even if he is open to the idea that if one day, if I don’t like my job or want to stay home and have other occupations that would still allow me some accomplishment (arts and crafts, or have little farm for example), he would consider it. But I would not stay home and just paint my toenails (and even if it is sarcasm or exaggeration, I believe some women are, in fact, that lazy. Just not the majority). 

     

    Post # 29
    Member
    1987 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    @zumbaista:  Co-sign.  I can’t believe some people think that this guy’s actually being kind to women.  (Of course he thinks he is, but that just shows what he really, deeply thinks of them, and that’s disturbing.)

    Post # 30
    Member
    271 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

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    @azzie17:  Reread your own post. Absolutely nothing about it indicated you were being sarcastic. Unfortunately, no one on the internet is a mind reader so neither I nor MrsBeck (or anyone else on this thread, I bet) knew you were attempting sarcasm.

     

     

    View original reply
    @MarriedToMyWork:  It is arguing – in a clumsy, poorly written way, certainly – that the author’s idea of a good, successful wife is one who tries her absolute hardest at whatever she’s trying to do (including being a stay at home mom – I see a lot of people missed the last paragraph). If that’s what being a trophy wife is now, then sign me up. I absolutely love that my hard work can benefit my future husband – just like I love that his hard work benefits me. Marriage is teamwork. You work hard on a team so that the whole team becomes more successful. You don’t work hard on a team EXCLUSIVELY for your own personal benefit.

    Post # 31
    Member
    271 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

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    @TwoCityBride:  

    “I don’t think there anything wrong with what he said, in fact if a women wrote an article like that speaking about the qualities she wanted her mate to have no one would raise an eyebrow.”

     

    EXACTLY.

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