(Closed) Is this inappropriate? How would you feel?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

The bride already has her dress and this is just to pick up the BM’s dresses that are in? What in the world is so special about the BM’s trying on their dresses anyway that she’d be upset for you to try on some wedding gowns when you’re finished? I say nothing, and I’d find it very strange if she were to object, knowing how little shopping there is where you live now. She’s already married too? Come on…she can’t possibly see anything wrong with this.

I really don’t think you need anyone’s permission to try on gowns while you’re there.

Post # 33
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

if i were the bride i’d be pissed. just sayin

Post # 34
4951 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

View original reply
@ItWasntMe:  I have to agree. 

OP, it’d be rude if you were imposing on her wedding gown shopping or something, but it’s just a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress fitting. Just run it by her first so you don’t catch her off-guard.

Post # 35
3173 posts
Sugar bee

@lulubird:  You are only picking up your Bridesmaid or Best Man dress right? I don’t see a problem with setting up an appointment to try on dresses as well. Like PP said, ask your Future Sister-In-Law first to make sure she is fine with that as to not step on any toes. Explain it to her like you’ve explained it to us.

Post # 36
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’m usually one to say don’t do anything for your wedding while doing something for someone else’s but you are just picking up the dresses.  I think as long as you talk to her ahead of time you should be fine, I would be fine with it.

Post # 37
41 posts

are you planning to have her in your bridal party? I think it would be fine to get her opinion on a few dresses if so, sort of a preliminary wedding dress shopping date. If not, I would tread carefully if she doesnt seem on board with it!

Post # 38
1156 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think it is fine.I would probably just make an appt for another time before I left to come home.

Post # 39
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I don’t see a problem with it at all.  I would just make a separate appointment is all, that way you’ll get one on one help from a consultant.  I might give her a heads up, especially if she’s the type to be over dramatic but also because she might want to stay while you try on dresses.  But I have also never been one to understand the whole its all about me and nothing else can happen on this day because its only about me.

Post # 40
1180 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Try on dresses after the bridesmaid stuff. It should be okay.  Not everbody has to stay while you look for a dress.

Post # 41
3696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Talk to her first, and ask if it’s ok to make an appointment for after hers.  Take her and your Maid/Matron of Honor out to lunch, then go back.  I don’t think she’d have an issue with it, but would appreciate you letting her have her wedding moment, and then shift into your wedding moment. 

Post # 42
9950 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I agree with the Bees who said it is fine, as long as you make it for another day & time (don’t run the two smack up against each other… lol, be that Appointments or Brides !! Undecided )

Otherwise there could be some hard feelings… I say play it safe rather than sorry… Brides can be an emotional lot… so WHY even attempt to stir the pot / go there

— — —

Lol, on another note, I get WHY you are looking outside of SC… I looked for a Wedding Dress in SC when I was on vacation, and I was very disappointed with the lack of shops / choice

Funny thing, when we were in New Orleans on our Wedding Trip (pre-Wedding), we drove past a Bridal Shop (on St Charles) just a few blocks from our Hotel… and I thought… Wow that looks like a great store (is that the one you are going to ? … Town & Country Bridal )

I thought about paying them a visit… but then realized that if I went in there and found something I LOVED more than the Destination Dress I had bought and packed for the trip, that I’d have a whole lot of dress regret, and anxiety about getting Dress # 2 fitted and altered on short notice.  So I didn’t go.

Lol, now your post really has me intrigued… wondering if I missed out on a good experience.

Don’t ya just love Weddings, and how much over-thinking we all do !!


Post # 43
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t see it being a big deal as long as you don’t intrude on your SIL’s time and bride “moment” – lol. And since you don’t live in the area I think it’s understandable that you might want to look while you are there. But it might be better to go the next day. I would talk to my SIL & family about it and maybe they’ll be excited to look at dresses with you too (if that’s what you want).

Post # 45
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think you should wait until some other time until you do this. It isn’t your trip. Sorry honey 🙂

Post # 46
516 posts
Busy bee

I think that because she’s already picked out the dress, her “moment” has been sufficiently experienced and it’s fine for you to try on dresses!

However I do think you should make a separate appointment time, either before or after your appointment for the bm dresses, so that your focus is on the task at hand.



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