Post # 16
Member
2140 posts
Buzzing bee
Beth7210 : Hi bee!! A few things:
1) Remove your 12:30 arrival request for a 1pm ceremony. Guests know to show up early
2) Gifts section is really long and wordy and the URL looks clunky. I would simply reference a small registry under your names at Amazon and remove the URL.
“Gifts are not necessary as we have an established home together already. However, we do understand that some may want to gift us something in celebration of our union. We have compiled a small registry on Amazon under Beth and Lewis Cox or would welcome contributions towards excursions for our honeymoon to Tenerife”
3) “Reception to follow” is this a lunch reception? or cocktails? or cake/punch? Please provide more details for your guests so they know what to expect… especially for a 2pm reception.
Post # 17
Member
2697 posts
Sugar bee
somathemagical : reception to follow is standard wording in the UK. It will mean a wedding breakfast followed by a party. Most weddings here take place at lunch time with a meal late afternoon.
Post # 18
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
somathemagical : Agree, no one is going to type out that clunky url. Get a tidy wedding website if you want to include a url – we were jackandjill.com (not our names) and the relevant links/info were all on there. Squarespace makes it super easy and affordable.
Post # 19
Member
2140 posts
Buzzing bee
Twizbe : Ah gotcha! Learning something new every day!
Post # 20
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
The part about how to handle gifts is ridiculous. Your guests aren’t babies. If they wanted to ask about a registry or a hint on what to give, they could ask someone in your circle.
I asked Santa for specific gifts when I was a kid, but I can’t understand how this has become commonplace for adults to do to their guests and justify it by saying “because this way, we will get what we really want.” Id expect people who are ready to get married to behave with more maturity.
The fear of ending up with items you don’t need is irrational. People write checks when there is no registry (and often with more zeros). Use that for your honeymoon if you wish. Where is the logic in bringing a third party into this?
I want to give a wedding gift that symbolizes the longevity of the couple’s union. Vacations have little to do with “forever” and are not representative of the lifelong commitment made by the couple.
Some might claim that it’s rude not to have a registry. I think this is the new mindset because people have become so accustomed to registries that they don’t know how to put an ounce of original thought into a gift. “How dare you not specify what I should get you, down to the make, model and color?” It’s sad.
Post # 21
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
schuyler : where I come from gift registries have been around for generations, it’s actually rude to NOT have a registry, I wasn’t going to have a registry however the entire family ( both sides) were horrified when I said I wasn’t going to have one, so I made one. I think your post is quite condescending to be honest.
Post # 22
Member
902 posts
Busy bee
I agree with the edits that somathemagical : made, with the exception of the reception portion, which has already been addressed by some others before me.
That’s pretty typical here in Canada as well, though a reception here is more likely to be a dinner followed by dancing. The only time I would say you’d want to specify in greater detail is if it WASN’T going to be a standard reception.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with mentioning a gift registry, it’s definitely expected that you will provide one here in Canada too. Gifts/money for your trip I’m iffy on but if you feel comfortable with it, go for it.
Post # 23
Member
887 posts
Busy bee
“At their marriage at” sounds funny.
I’d never show up at 12:30 if the ceremony is at 1:00 so I see no point in putting that. people will show up by 12:50ish and that’s all that matters. Put ceremony time only and I’d word it as “One O’ clock” instead of 1:00
i like the capital letters and do that too so would personally leave it
The gift portion is excessively long and made me cringe. I’d just put registry info and thats it. No need for the schpeel or honeymoon info (if people give cash just use it towards your honeymoon yourself). Is the URL necessary? Does Amazon not have an easier way to look up a registry?
ETA: you’re also missing a couple of commas. For example:
”If you are staying at the venue, please mention…”
Also saw one or two places missing one in the gift portion but based on a he feedback here I’m hoping you change that considerably.
Post # 24
Member
762 posts
Busy bee
Another U.K. Bee here – gift bit is fine but see the better wording above from
somathemagical :
agree with PPs about little tweaks to the time and wording.
but it all makes sense to me regardless! And to be honest I didn’t notice those tweaks myself reading through, other than the gift bit being a bit clunky
Congrats and good luck!
Also..omg just notice me your getting married a week after me and I haven’t even THOUGHT about invites…lol..
Post # 25
Member
1906 posts
Buzzing bee
I agree with a lot of what PP have said.
1. Put your first and last names at the top. Trust me, it helps. We have gotten a couple this year that we were like “who?? is this my friend or yours?”
2. Rearrange the wording for the ceremony:
“At our marriage
Saturday 11 May, 2019
at One O’clock in the afternoon
Location
3. Also, just put 1:00 on your invite. No need for the 12:30 time
4. I agree to shorten the gift section section. Only the first part is needed an then just put that they can find your registry on amazon under your names.
Post # 26
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
butternutter : to be fair it’s mainly because our immediate family is spread about the country so I feel like we should send the invites earlier given people need time to book hotels at reasonable prices and things xx
Post # 27
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
Registries have been around for generations where I’m from too, but it doesn’t mean that they’re not uncouth or that everyone has to have one. Why can’t people just graciously accept whatever they are given? The poster asked for my advice and I think she should know that some people will think differently of her if she lists a registry on the invitation/asks for money for a honeymoon. Beth7210 :
Post # 28
Member
27 posts
Newbee
I would just say when the ceromony starts and that a reception follows.
I don’t think there’s any appropriate way to mention gifts at all and your note about what to give is way too lengthy. I don’t think it matters where your from. People can go through life’s milestones without being so grabby.
Post # 29
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
schuyler : I will graciously accept whatever I am given, and i haven’t asked for money for my honeymoon, we’ve already paid for our honeymoon. All I’m doing is giving people options, absolutely nothing uncouth about it.
Different cultures have different traditions, maybe you should familiarise yourself with them before you Poo poo other people’s traditions or presume people will look at me differently for doing what is expected of me AND WHAT THOSE SAME PEOPLE HAVE TOLD ME TO DO
Post # 30
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
weddingbelle1 : I’m not being grabby at all, if people give us nothing I will be perfectly happy, if someone asks you what you want for your birthday (insisting they get you something) and you answer is that you being grabby too?
If you want to call people grabby then start with the numerous threads about people being upset their uncle or whoever didn’t get them anything.
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