Post # 1
My BMs are throwing me a combo shower/bachelorette party the night before the wedding in my MOH’s hotel room. I really don’t want to invite any moms, aunts, or grandmothers just because it’s going to be a small get together in a relatively small hotel room that will most likely involve a lot of drinking and embarrassing games, so I told my BMs that we can keep it to a younger crowd. I’m planning on inviting all our friends (20s) + my cousins (in their early 30s).
So here’s my question: Do you think it’s a bad idea not to invite the older ladies? I honestly don’t think they’d have fun being in a cramped hotel room with so many girls and it’s not like it’s going to be a traditional bridal shower so they won’t be butt hurt at all for not being invited (at least I hope not!). We’re having the wedding in Vegas so I’d imagine the older ladies will be fine going out with their husbands and doing whatever!
Post # 3
@sushitushi: I know it would probably upset my mom if she weren’t invited, could you do a dinner with everyone first and then have your party? That way they could feel like they had quality time with the whole family and then the younger people could do their own party afterwards. Just an idea 🙂
Post # 4
I am sorry,but I think the whole thing is a bad idea. Is there any way you could do this anytime sooner then the night before the wedding? If you want to play drinking games and get wasted, it opens the door to a whole load of complications.
As far as inviting the older women, I don’t think it is rude to not invite them, especially if you have a rehersal earlier in the day.
Post # 5
I had a shower two days before my wedding with a bachelorette party to follow. We just did a shower in one location with all of the ladies, older and younger, and then the younger girls went to the next part to open “sassy” gifts and then go out and hit the town. Couldy you split it up that way somehow? Also, I second not doing it the night before your wedding–in all honesty, even two nights before mine was rough, but I had so many out of town guests that it was the only way they could attend.
Post # 6
@ieatunicorns: Yeah, I agree. The night before your wedding sounds like terrible timing to have a bachelorette party where everyone is going to be drinking a lot, staying up late, and doing who knows what. Trust me, you will WANT to feel refreshed and well rested on your wedding day – I can’t imagine anything worse than feeling hungover on such an important day when you need to be on top of your game.
I think you’re perfectly within your right to not invite the older ladies (my mom and my aunts didn’t come to my bachelorette party) and that’s fine. I would, however, say that if all these people are travelling to be at your wedding, I think you should make a point to spend as much time with all of them as you can. Running off on the night before your wedding to have a get together with your bridesmaids doesn’t seem very nice to me, aside from the fact that I don’t think it’s a good idea to have that kind of party the night before your wedding anyway. I’d reconsider the evening and plan a casual get together for all of your out of town guests – they will appreciate it.
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I also second moving it if possible. Getting drunk the night before the wedding is a big beauty no. You don’t want to be bloated and puffyon the face on your wedding day, and you don’t want your BMs to be either.
Id try tofigure out a way to invite the older ladies to the shower part.
Post # 8
@Ree723: Agree with you 100%.
Post # 9
Is there any other time you can do it? I agree with PPs – planning to stay up late and get drunk the night before your wedding sounds disastrous. I think you’ll want to feel refreshed, well-rested and beautiful on your wedding day, and a bachelorette party the night before is probably not the best recipe for that. As far as inviting the older ladies, I don’t think you need to. We had a shower for my friend and that night the young girls went on to the bachelorette party and it wasn’t weird at all.
Post # 10
Thanks for all the input ladies!
UNFORTUNATELY, I have no other choice when it comes to having the shower/bachelorette the night before – it’ll actually be a the first time I’ll be seeing some friends in a few months! We’re originally from LA and the wedding is technically a Destination Wedding since it’ll be in Vegas. Besides my 3 bridesmaids and my own mom, just about every other potential guest is coming from another state. I don’t want to ask anybody to come in on Thursday because I already feel guilty asking people to take time off work on Friday. The ceremony will be at 6:30pm on Saturday so I’m planning to take all my ladies to a Korean spa the morning of the wedding to detox and just recover from the night before. Also, my BMs are professional drinkers… they won’t be fazed at all by drinking the night before the wedding, trust me. As for myself, I don’t plan on drinking more than one or two drinks that night, no matter WHAT my BMs keep telling me. I’m going to be a good girl for my wedding weekend! 😉
Sorry, I should have made it clear that there’s nothing I can do about moving the date. My BMs are also kids on a budget so I wasn’t going to ask them to throw me a shower at home in LA that no one would even be able to make it to anyway and I also don’t want to ask them to move the shower to a bigger space in Vegas (as I mentioned in my original post, it’s in my MOH’s small hotel room).
Fiance and I are planning on spending as much time as possible with the family members that are able to come out on Thursday or Friday morning/afternoon (the shower/bachelorette will be at 6:30pm on Friday) so it’s not like I’m planning on shunning people to go play with my friends.
Thanks to the bees who gave advice on inviting/not inviting the older ladies! My main concern was whether or not I absolutely HAD to invite them.. but honestly, they all know our financial situation and I don’t think they would be hurt if I told them we were just having a get together with the young kids as long as I make the effort to see them on Thursday/Friday.
Post # 11
The biggest red flag I see is getting wild and wasted the night before your wedding. You want to be well rested–not to mention beautiful and at your very best–on your big day, right?
I say include the older ladies in your shower. Even dinner would be appropriate. Leaving them out all together is a no-no In My Humble Opinion.
Post # 12
I think its fine not to invite them. Its a bacherlorette party and thats no place for grandma.