(Closed) Is this just an innocent crush or something I should be concerned about?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@EmilyInIdaho:  I peronally do not think either of you are ready to be married.

 

The the “his favorite hoodie” thing just screams high school drama to me.

Post # 33
Member
312 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

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@canarydiamond:  

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@nycsa:  great great points to both.

 

as many others here, i am very sorry you are in this situation. keep us posted. we wish you the best.

Post # 35
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

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@EmilyInIdaho:  Have you had a chance to talk to him???

Post # 36
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee

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@Nona99:  This is an interesting perspective. Definitely one I’ve heard before from an older female relative. 

Post # 37
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee

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@EmilyInIdaho:  What kinds of things do they text about and how often is sometimes?

I don’t think you should ask him to not contact her via FB or text right now because I do think the might see it as the “forbidden fruit” and ideally you want the no contact thing to at least partially come from him once he realizes that his behavior is inappropriate.

Talk to him in general first. See what he says. Feel it out.

Post # 38
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2014

AH! i wish my fiance pulled a stunt like that. i don’t have no tolerance for those types of things. i wouldn’t suggest approaching kacey on this subject. she isnt encouraging this . instead you should have a sit down with your fiance and tell him how you feel. you’ve handled the situation rationally and i applaud you for that. personally, i wouldn’t of behaved differently. shit would’ve hit the fans lol

Post # 39
Member
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

Always, ALWAYS, always go with your instinct.

Post # 40
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

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@EmilyInIdaho:  His behaviour is really inappropriate. You need to sit down and have a serious talk about it.

Post # 41
Member
723 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

You two are long overdue for a serious chat. I don’t think any one of the things he’s doing is necessarily damning, but taken together (especially because it makes you uncomfortable and because he seems unwilling to admit he’s crossed any boundaries), his behavior is definitely inappropriate. As others have suggested, I would have a sit-down talk with him to try and figure out what’s really going on here. Let us know how it goes!

Post # 42
Member
733 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m wondering what your relationship is with Kacey? Are you guys good friends that chat on your own or is she a friend you know through him? If you guys are close friends I wouldn’t be as worried. However, I think you really need to talk to him. Make sure you focus on how you are feeling. Tell him how you felt that night.

Post # 43
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@EmilyInIdaho:  Yeah, I wouldn’t be okay with that. But Nona is right, these little crushes do occasionally happen.

Post # 44
Member
6739 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

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@lifesaride:  That makes the OP not ready for marriage?  That’s just silly. 

OP, I think his behavior is inappropriate and you should bring it up to him that you think he has a crush (not jokingly) and that’s fine, because that’s normal, but it makes you uncomfortable and that he needs to decide whether he’s going to stay committed to you or decide he wants to be single and flirt with other girls. 

I would not tolerate this behavior. I’ve never been in this situation before though, so IDK how I’d respond, but I’d probably be a sarcastic catty bitch as it’s happening in front of my face.  Also, Kacey might be “innocent,” but it’s wrong that she took the hoodie.  If he was concerned with her being cold, he should have went and gotten one of YOUR sweaters for her to wear. 

And if you’re insecure right now because of weight gain, that might be affecting your relationship and level of affection.  Perhaps you need to fix that, too.  Either lose the weight you gained or gain that self-confidence back. 

Good luck!

Post # 45
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t think the hoodie thing is immature at all. If your SO is giving something of his to another woman as a means of taking care of her (in this case, keeping her warm), I think it’s totally normal to be irked by it. Especially since he could’ve just given her a neutral blanket or even one of your hoodies. The fact that she took it home is kind of ridiculous to me, and makes me wonder if she really is as innocent as you say. I’m not saying their cheating or anything, it doesnt seem like that, but I would never go home with some other guy’s article of clothing! Definitely talk to your SO about it and tell him how you feel.

Post # 46
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@futuremrsk18:  That makes the OP not ready for marriage?  That’s just silly. 

I do not think that is silly at all. There is a trust issue, there is a behavior issue on her FI’s part.

I am just saying that these are not things that should be going on with someone that you are going to spend the rest of your life with and just spells trouble in the future to me.

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