(Closed) Is this mean?

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

@ams12:

Maybe you should give her a box of chocolates and some costume jewelry in a paper bagTongue out

Post # 4
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

technically, yes, but all things considered?  not in my opinion!  of course, I also love the “turn about is fair play” motto.  (note that my Fiance does not always do that nor does he allow ME to do it all the time, lol)

Perhaps you should mention this to your FI’s dad and see what he suggests.  Especially if he knows about his wife’s behavior and doesn’t approve.  who knows, he might find it to be just desserts for her, lol. 

but definitely talk it over with your Fiance and his dad before doing anything.  (but only with FI’s dad if you three can leave FI’s mom out of the conversation…)

good luck!!!  hope everything smooths out for you 🙂

Post # 6
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

She doesn’t sound like a nice person, but I would give her a gift to avoid conflict or grudges.  You have to deal with this woman for the rest of her life (I would definitely plan to see her as little as possible but be VERY polite when I had to see her!)

Post # 7
Member
708 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

i completely agree with buying her a box of chocolates. Wrap it really nicely. Avoids conflict and makes a point. A win win. And I am really sorry you have to deal with this.

Post # 8
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

@ams12:

I really do agree with @huckleberry783:

I would give her a small gift, maybe a inexpensive bracelet or something like that to wear to the wedding?

Post # 9
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Maybe you could just get her a card or something? So it’s not like you’re snubbing her completely– you’re just not going out of your way to spend money on her.

I don’t know if this is how you planned to do this, but your mom gets a card with her gift inside, your dad gets a card with his gift inside, Future Mother-In-Law gets a card but no gift inside. Or like $20 to a nearby store or something to kind of keep the peace. I don’t know.

Post # 10
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I wouldn’t give her anything. You usually give the gifts as a thank you for their support and such, and she seems to be far from supportive. I know it’s not the proper thing to do, but it’s also not the proper thing for her to act the way she has.

Post # 11
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I would give her something small.  There will be more people at the dinner than just your immediate family.  When those people see you give gifts to all the parents but her it will reflect badly on YOU because they don’t know the history of the situation.  Be sure to mention and the wonderful things that the other parents have done for you and how much you appreciate them so they get recognition for their support.  Then give her a small gift and a simple “thank you”.

Post # 12
Member
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@[email protected]: LOL!!! I love your idea!

 

I say no dont feel bad at all. Maybe you can just give her a card saying Thanks for being there!?!

Post # 13
Member
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

In my opinion I say do not give her a gift. You are giving them to people who have helped you, correct? And if she has not only not helped but make things tough on you, no way. Because then why not get everyone a gift who is there? Dont do it just to avoid conflict.

Like people said, you have to live with her for the rest of your life and that is true. But by including her in the thanks you are sending a bad message to her. That even though she is diffacult and really has not helped you, you are accepting it and doing what you have to in order to avoid conflict. I promise she will see it that way wheather right away or over time. People whom you allow to do bad things to you and get away with it will only continue to do it. So dont reward her for it!

Post # 14
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

i would get her a travel book for Aruba.  point given.

Post # 15
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I would maybe get her something really, really small… just so she won’t cause a scene, hopefully.

The topic ‘Is this mean?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors