(Closed) Is this normal?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - Sweet ceremony by the sea and sunset celebration on the North Shore of Hawaii

@mrskisstobe:

I think guys are just super curious about freaky porn. I compare it to watching those national geographic documentaries – they’re just fascinated by weird shit, not because it is what they want, but because it’s so ridiculous. Your Fiance adores you….guys are just porn hounds. 🙂

Post # 4
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Sorry you feel that way, I’m sure he is still very attracted to you! I think it is normal with some guys. I would just talk to him about it an express your concerns. I think this is another one of those things that some women have no problems with strip clubs and othere hate them. I just don’t think there is a right or wrong answer but instead what works best in your relationship.

Post # 6
Member
5784 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

If he wanted a skanky girl he would be with one. Some guys are just fascinated with weird *ss porn haha. If you are uncomfortable with him looking at that stuff I would have a conversation with him about what your boundaries are.

Post # 7
Member
5784 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

@mrskisstobe: I feel like I may the only one who feels this way but the lying about it doesn’t really concern me that much. Guys are generally non-confrontational, he is just trying to avoid a fight with you. Plus, who wants to admit they’re watching ghettogaggers.com?

Post # 8
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

What’s up with guys and their p*rn. I just posted about how I cought my Fiance looking at it and he lied to me about it too. I feel the same exact way as you, I feel like he doesn’t want me, he wants them.

Post # 9
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Does he work with any men? My Fiance primarily works with men and they find it amusing to watch some of the freakiest things and “ohhh” and “ahh” over it. I think nothing about it now. Maybe it’s a similar situation.

The only way I’d see it as a BIG problem is if he’s looking at it and showing no sexual interest in you!

Post # 10
Member
622 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011 - Vandiver Inn

I’m not sure that even counts as a straight up lie. I’m sure he didn’t know anything about any charges since the site he was looking at is probably free. And you’re kind of on shaky ground anyway since you lied to try to smoke him out.

I am normally completely triggered by lying. But in this case I don’t think it’s really a trust issue. Men will occasionally look at that stuff. I kind of think that’s just the way it is. As long as everything else is cool with you guys, I’d let this one go. I think it’s just a case of a boy being a boy.

Post # 11
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

If you want to call him out, do so with the phone in front of him.  Trust me, that works. Also, don’t forget to add in how it makes YOU feel.  If he gets defensive, remind him he LET you use the phone after you asked, so it’s not like you went snooping behind his back.  You’ll probably end up in an argument (yes, been there and done this) but if it’s bothering you, it needs to come out into the open.

Also, from an IT tech and personal knowledge, porn sites are GREAT backdoors (no pun intended) for viruses and hackers.  Yes, it’s possible even on blackberries and all other smart phones (including iPhones, Droids, etc).

Post # 12
Member
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I wouldn’t think anything of it. My Fiance admits that he looks at porn, but I have never seen him looking at it in my presense. It doesn’t bother me, I consider it educational and helpful in the bedroom. It was funny, I came home from work one day and saw a box of tissues on the computer desk. I knew what he was up to, and the only thing that pissed me off was that he was on my computer! So when I saw the box, I said to him (while handing the box of tissues to him) “The next time you look at porn, do it on your computer, I don’t need to get a computer virus.” He kinda smiled and had an embarassed look on his face.

Post # 14
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Just talk to him about it and let him know your concerns. We had this conversation very early in our relationship when i found a ton of porn in his browser history. I just asked why he needed to watch it when he had me. He made it clear that i was enough for him and it was purely for entertainment/ education (yes he did claim to learn new moves from it lol). We talked it out and now he is very open about it and im fine with it.

I think its just a guy thing, lik los said. You will never get him to stop watching porn but if you discuss it he wont have to lie or hide it. But I promise if he wanted a skank he would not be engaged to you 🙂

Post # 15
Member
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

@mrskisstobe: you got mad that he lied to you, but you lied to him by telling him the company called about charges….

Post # 16
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I am so sorry this happened, @mrskisstobe. : ( Please address it and talk to him honestly about it. I hope he’ll quit looking at porn and I hope you’ll be able to forgive him.

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