(Closed) Is this normal?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

with my lack of real experience with this (I’ve only been to one traditional wedding), the bridal couple put a description of the dishes on their wedding website. I personally wouldn’t care WHAT kind of beef or chicken .. like why does that matter? I’m getting fed some meat .. YUMMEH

that being said, the response cards I received were exactly like yours so nothing wrong there.

Post # 4
552 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think its very traditional for the repsonse card to have those choices. Your response cards are correct. 

Post # 5
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

First of all I agree that it is a bit tacky to call and ask what exactly the meals are. I mean, really?

I have been invited to plenty of weddings that have simply stated choices as you have listed.

If you were having very unusual dishes, maybe you could have gone into detail but….

That being said, if you were having a roasted/baked chicken that most people would enjoy and be familiar with I see no reason why what you have to describe this to people.

Furthermore, they should be pleased they are getting a choice! lol I have also been to a few weddings where there was no choice for dinner. It was what it was, and everyone ate it.

You could always throw them for a loop with a response like “I haven’t decided yet” lol

Post # 6
1954 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’ve never received a response card that didn’t have a descriptor, i.e. filet mignon and chicken kiev. I’d want to know what a meal was before choosing it. I love chicken, but hate cheese so if the meal was chicken cordon bleu, I’d want the steak. But how would i know that if the descriptor was chicken?

Post # 7
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@CinderellaSoon:  or “what kind of beef? Dead cow.” xD

Post # 8
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

A lot of people seem to have allergies/food intolerance issues today.  They may be contacting you because the preparation can effect whether or not they can eat it.  For example a beef wellington could be inedible if you have an allergy to gluten, eggs, or dairy while a filet mignon might be your favorite food.  I wouldn’t be surprised if you here from more guests wanting clarification on this.

Post # 10
7606 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@MissNachoLover:  I agree that your response cards are fine and also agree that it’s tacky for people to be asking before they RSVP (unless it’s a close friend on family member, or the person has special food sensitivities and needs to know about the ingredients).  If they’re asking and they’ve already RSVP’d then it might just be out of curiousity or to make conversation.

I’ve never actually received an RSVP that had food options listed on it, which apparently is unusual!


Post # 11
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

An RSVP with food options? what happens if you wanted to just invite the guests to the wedding only? Separate and different kind?

Post # 12
3718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I would never call and ask (and this is as a full blown celiac that can’t have any gluten in her system. I’d choose beef because it is harder to put flour on steak . Fiance would write in my allergy on the back of the card. For our wedding we are putting a little more info on the cards (polenta crusted salmon, herb roasted chicken)

Post # 13
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I really wanted our cards to say “Cow” and “Fish”. My mother vetoed that. So instead it said “Filet mignon” and “Scrod”. I suppose that’s fancier. Though one guest did circle “scrod” and write “Not a word” with an arrow. Hrm. 

In any case, I’m with you on this one, OP. But I also don’t see the harm in a person asking. Maybe they’re curious, or maybe it’s for dietary reasons. I don’t think it’s a rude question and it’s easy enough to answer.

Post # 14
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MsATC:  LOL WUT? A .5 second Google search tells me exactly what it is.

Post # 15
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I typically see the dish name or cut so Chicken Francais or Filet Mignon

I dont think I would ask if it just said chicken, but I would be curious and wonder why you didnt specify.

I would also want to know what may be healthier. Is it cheese stuffed chicken with a cream sauce or a grilled chicken with a pineapple salsa topping etc. I can see why sonmeone would call and ask if you are giving them the choice to start with.

Post # 16
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@MissNachoLover:  just put a full explananation on your website as you said, that is a good idea.  Then you can say, oh a full description is on the website, didnt you see it?  lol

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