(Closed) Is this normal?

posted 5 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
6207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I think that you both just have to work on your phone communication. Sometimes something that sounds concise in person sounds rude over the phone. Also, when you’re talking over the phone or skype, you don’t know if you have his full attention. He could be reading an article, or watching TV. Distracted doesn’t necessarily mean emotionally unavailable. It’s a lot easier to just hang up the phone during an argument than it is to leave the argument in person, and a lot of men feel helpless when their girlfriend gets upset.

I’m not blaming you for  the problems, but if you want him not to hang up on you when you’re upset, maybe you have to work on how you come off when you argue over the phone. Unless it’s a really big deal, don’t freak out because it’s really hard to resolve things long distance (I know, I did it for 5 years.) Have you spoken to him about what makes him hang up on you and that it hurts you when he does that in a calm manner, outside of an argument? You might find that there are specific triggers to him doing these things.

IMO being in an LDR can help a great deal in improving a couple’s communication. You really need to communicate, though, and not just get upset. 

Post # 4
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

When my SO and I were long distance last summer, we had WAY more disagreements than when we got to see eachother more often. Most of our problems were from miscommunication through texts though. As long as we were able to work it out through talking to each other, we could hear the tone of voice and read each others emotions a lot better.

Have you talked about it with him? Does he acknowledge and see that it is a problem? Sometimes you can figure out what triggers the fights and then you could work together on better ways to over come them. 

I guess I would try to see if the episodes are related to anything specific, or also how frequent they are and then go from there. 

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