(Closed) Is this normal?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee

It kind of depends what exactly you mean by annoying each other, and what examples are of one of you getting hurt/offended. In regards to general “feeling annoyed by my partner”, maybe you both need to establish some space and alone time. When one of you gets home, let them be for 10 minutes to let them settle in. That sort of thing.

But I would say that miscommunication is likely the root of these issues, instead of the product. You need to be able to communicate your needs to your partner, before it reaches a point of being annoyed.

Post # 3
Member
1287 posts
Bumble bee

warmsoul1101:  It took like a year for us to get into a groove. The only person you wont get get annoyed living with, is yourself. I still get annoyed but I’ve come to learn to accept him for what he is and vice versa. You guys just need to find you’re happy place, and realize, you’re not doing things to bother each other, it’s just how you function. And now after 5 years living together, I’ve learn that I’ll always have to figure out dinner for the both of us, and he knows that he always has to take out the trash and clean the litter box. And now we can’t imagine NOT living together. He’s the person I want to see after a long day at work, and the person I love having breakfast with the most on Sundays.  

Post # 4
Member
6784 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Are you annoying one another with little things–top off the toothpaste, toilet seat up, etc., or with bigger things such as not paying bills on time, forgetting important events, etc.? 

Post # 6
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee

This doesn’t really sound “normal” to me. It sounds like, even though you have similar personalities (ie sensitive), you are clashing because you are too similar. Also, it sounds like you both need to pick your battles and NOT use the past in your arguments. It almost sounds like your “sensitivity” is bordering on resentment. Or maybe I am misunderstanding. I would suggest counseling because this could turn into a larger problem down the road.

Post # 7
Member
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Cambridge Mill

warmsoul1101:  This sounds like me and my ex and we didn’t last. Not to be negative or to scare you, I can just relate. Are you both feeling really stressed out? Sometimes outside stress causes you to get annoyed easily. Short fuse sorta thing.

For me the problem was simply we didn’t see eye to eye. Our views were just too different and his strong opinions hurt my sensitive nature. Of course there were other reasons that realtionship ended. All I can say is my now Fiance and I rarely ever have this problem.

You might just be with someone who is going to challenge you more, and that’s not always a bad thing. You both need to find a way to let things go without it getting to a long drawn out conversation. It’s good that you have both agreed to stop this. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
3541 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

warmsoul1101:  the first 2-3 months were an adjustment period and it slowly got better up until we hit our year anniversary living together. I just had to realize I had to let things go and pick my battles. I’m an only child and had lived alone for 10 years, so it was a bit hard for me… not awful mind you, we were just a bit off from our normal dynamic. 

Post # 9
Member
1581 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I’ve been through this too and what it sounds like to me is that you guys aren’t getting enough personal space. I still need time to be alone. All the togetherness gets to me sometimes. So when I need to be alone for an hour, I’ll just go into a different room and watch TV or something. It really helps with the little quirks of your partner. The other thing that might help is if you have your own hobby that you can do outside of the home. Moving in is great because you get to spend more time together but sometimes all that time can really start to add up to just being annoyed. Believe me, I totally get it!

Post # 10
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

It’s normal to get on each others nerves at first. When you live with someone in the beginning, sometimes it takes a bit to get used to how they live. Everyone has their quirks… We all do things differently. But maybe if every single thing they do gets under your skin, it could be a bad sign… Find out if there’s a way to compromise and see it from his perspective and vice versa. The best thing is to listen to each others feelings. For instance, you hate when he leaves the toilet seat up. But for him, he gets annoyed having to lift it up ALL the time. But there has to be a compromise here. If it’s something that drives you stark raving mad if he leaves the toilet seat up, and he just gets a bit annoyed, perhaps he needs to see it from your point of view and do his best to fix the problem. Just an example… Me, I want to punch a hole in the wall every time my Fiance uses the water when I’m showering. No one wants to stand there with soap in their eyes waiting for their darling to finish playing with water downstairs… Ugh! So, I tell him every time I’m about to shower, and he tries to refrain from playing I’m the sink… See?! Lol!

Post # 13
Member
2715 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

We had some rough moments when we first moved in together – there was definitely an adjustment period.  What helped us was good communication and time.

Post # 15
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Beaches Negril

I remember when we moved in together. It took 2 years to get used to each other. It’s all about finding a system that works for both of you AND not sweating the small stuff. He came from a strict home where I’m more lax. It didn’t help I was 6 months pregnant, either so that was another obstacle but we literally sat down and talked it out with an open mind. I’m a fan of therapists because it’s an impartial person who gives another perspective so go. Even if he says no, do it for yourself. We just completed couples counseling and it helped me hear him better and it helped him understand me more.  I’m still in therapy for myself just to vent and it’s great.

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