Is this normal? Husband upset at me when I'm sick… (

posted 6 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

shadows9x : ummm no, this is not normal. Calling your wife a “bitch” is unacceptable. I would be heartbroken if my partner called me that. 

He should be asking you if you are ok. I hope you are alright and I’m so sorry that your husband is behaving this way. Is he always like this? 

editing to add… when I am unwell (or my partner is) we do usually offer to sleep in the spare room to contain the illness and get a better nights sleep. But this is negotiated respectfully and kindly. 

Post # 3
Member
35 posts
Newbee

It’s absolutely not normal! Your husband should never call you awful things, and he should never scream and shout at you like that. I‘m sure having his sleep interrupted isn’t fun, but that’s not an excuse or even a sufficient explanation. Christ, what a dick.

Post # 4
Hostess
3698 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

You mean your ABUSIVE husband who grabs you and shakes you and swears at you incessantly? It hurts my heart to know you are still putting up with this. You are better than this man, better than this life. 

Post # 5
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

That’s not normal or okay at all. If you can’t lean on your significant other when you are unwell, who can you lean on? I’m so sorry he is making you feel this way. You are doing absolutely nothing wrong. 

Post # 6
Member
2041 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

He called you a bitch?

Post # 7
Member
6670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

shadows9x :  What?!?! He calls you a “selfish bitch” for blowing your nose?!?! Completely unacceptable! Your husband is an asshole. 

ETA: I just looked at your last post:

“I’m so sick of him calling me b*t*h, C**t, child etc. Even in the privacy of our home I could get over it, but if we fight when out at the mall etc, he doesn’t control his volume or body language so people can hear him and also see how upset he is which I find embarassing. He also sometimes pushes me a bit and has occasionally hurt me a little bit, maybe grabbing my wrist too hard or something.”

THIS IS ABUSE! YOUR HUSBAND IS AN ABUSER! Get out of this marriage now! It will escalate. It will get worse. Please protect yourself! 

Post # 9
Member
2914 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

shadows9x :  Nope not normal at all. There is no reason for him to yell and curse at you, especially when you’re sick. 

If he treats you like this when you’re sick, how does he treat you when you get into disagreements or arguments? I can’t imagine that this is the only time that he treats you this way…

ETA just saw a PP mention your last post, and your update. I don’t understand why you’re with this guy.

 

Post # 11
Member
4270 posts
Honey bee

Obviously no, it is never “normal” to be name- called by someone who claims to love you.  And the fact that you don’t recognize that in your own seems to signal that perhaps you are unable to recognize what a healthy relationship looks like or have a lot of maladaptive thought processes with regards to relationships.

And looking at your post history, I take back my “seems”.  You do have an unhealthy relationship, if not outright abusive.  Everyone told you this two months ago.

 

Completely separate from all of this – if you are too sick to drive yourself to something as frivolous as a hair appointment, you’re too sick to go to the appointment at all.  If you think you have strep, you should be going to your doctor’s office, not getting everyone at your hair salon sick, too.

Post # 14
Member
6670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

shadows9x :  You know you should leave this man and protect yourself. You say the physical violence has gotten better. Your last post about that was 2 months ago. It has NOT gotten better. That’s just part of the Cycle of Abuse. It will get worse. 

 

Cycle of Abuse

Post # 15
Hostess
3698 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Here: it is NOT wise to take out a bigger mortgage with him. Leave his ass. Go get your own place. Keep it clean and organized. Meet nicer guys (literally like 99% of guys in the world are nicer than the guy you’re with!!). Get on with your life, make it a good one. That starts with leaving this terrible man!

I have been where you are. His preferred term for me was “white trash slut”. It was hell getting away from him, but I did it and my life has been so much better since. 

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