Is this normal? Husband upset at me when I'm sick… (

posted 6 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
6667 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

shadows9x :  Friends don’t physically abuse you. He is not your only friend. 

What about your parents? You made a post 10 months ago about how generous they are. 

Post # 17
Member
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

No bee no.  It is absolutely NOT normal and NOT okay.  Believe me, I was in a relationship very similar to yours for 4 years.  There were periods when it wouldn’t happen as much so I thought we were getting better but then it always ended up back to that and the constant name calling.  It is hard, but GET OUT.  I PROMISE the grass is soooooo much greener on the other side.  I am now married to someone else and have the best marriage and most loving and supportive partner.  Do yourself a favor and get out for your safety and mental health.  It is beyond worth it.

Post # 18
Member
703 posts
Busy bee

Ugh, I’m sorry bee. This is very abnormal and abusive. I see you recognize that you aren’t changing the situation and therefore shouldn’t complain..

But you’re not giving your long term happiness a chance. 

Post # 19
Member
4492 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

 HELLO! TIME TO WAKE UP.

This is the guy that “cussed” at you in public and is abusive. You’ve made prior posts about this. No one’s going to tell you to stay with him. What else are you looking for? 

 

Post # 20
Member
4901 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

My comment is not going to go over well… but I’m sensing a victim mentality in your post.

Is your husband an asshole? Yes. But you said you “can’t/won’t” do anything about it and you are thinking of further solidifying your misery by taking out a bigger mortgage with him.

Some people like being the victim, unfortunately I’m sensing some of that here. A martyr complex is probably a better way to phrase what I’m trying to say.

Why aren’t you going to the doctor? You’re going to a hair appointment instead of getting the test for strep that you believe you have. Strep is NASTY.

Why aren’t you doing a thing to improve your situation (being married to an asshole and sick with something that’s keeping you up at night)?

Post # 22
Member
4901 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

shadows9x :  you can improve yourself by going to therapy. By yourself. Without your husband. Therapy will give you the steps to leave the situation and to ensure that you don’t do this to yourself again 

Post # 23
Member
998 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

shadows9x :  No, his behavior is not “normal.” As others have said, it’s abusive. It doesn’t matter what you do, it doesn’t matter how wonderful you are, he will not change. Because his treatment of you is not a reaction to your behavior, it’s an expression of his character. 

Post # 24
Member
5927 posts
Bee Keeper

This is so sad bee. You got married 2 weeks ago – did your vows include anything similar to “in sickness and in health”??? You’re sick! Why is he being such an asshole to any sick person, let alone his fucking wife??? 

eta – do not get a bigger mortgage. Use your job stability as an excuse. Just please, do not go further into debt with him. 

Post # 25
Member
2372 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

shadows9x :  You deserve to have a husband who takes care of you when you’re sick. You do not deserve to get yelled at and called a “bitch” when you’re sick and it’s out of your control. 

He is abusive. 

Post # 26
Member
366 posts
Helper bee

shadows9x :  go to your doctor and tell him your symptoms.

Then also tell him your husband is yelling insults at you, grabbing and shoving you. Please do.

Post # 27
Member
4988 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

You keep finding issues with the oddest things and you are missing the wood for the trees.  You are upset when he calls you bitch and offers no sympathy when you are sick, or when he curses at you and calls you names in public.  Surprise, someone who treats you like shit at the best of times is going to treat you like shit when you are sick too.  Between this and your previous posts this guy is an abusive asshole, why on earth would you take a bigger mortgage?  You should be figuring out how to untangle yourself from him. 

Post # 28
Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee

Oh bee, my heart hurts for you.  I went back and read your past posts and you are being abused, mentally, emotionally, and physically.  He is gaslighting you to believe that you are the problem, when he is blatantly the abuser.

Please get out before this escalates.  I am so worried for you right now.  

Do you have any close friends or family that you can stay with?  Please reach out to them immediately.  

Post # 29
Member
9563 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Do as he asks, leave. To a new house and new life without him.

Post # 30
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

Bee, this is so sad to read. This man is clearly emotionally abusive, as well as physically abusive judging from your previous posts. Just because it has temporarily stopped does not mean it is not going to happen again. PLEASE go to therapy for yourself and get out of there – is moving back with your parents an option?

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