Is This Normal Child Behavior?

posted 10 months ago in Weddingbee
Post # 48
Member
246 posts
Helper bee

sallyloves90 :  yes, because the people who don’t believe in hitting children are the idiots. Your comments are so full of hypocrisy, it’s unreal (ex: your comment vilifying the toddler who smacked her mom… while at the same time saying the toddler deserves to be smacked in order to discipline her). ๐Ÿ™„ 

Please don’t breed. People who justify abuse shouldn’t be parents. 

Post # 49
Member
5558 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

carowl :  I didn’t even expect my comment to become such a huge thing. toddlers are learning how to control their emotions. It’s our job to guide them, to explain what is acceptable and what is unacceptable behavior. They have no idea how to handle the intense emotions they are feeling so they throw fits. We have to teach them appropriate ways to handle it.

I used it as an example of an extreme behavior from her that took me by surprise and how I was able to put a stop to it without spanking her

I know I’m a good parent and I’m not looking for validation, I’m just surprised that the comment got the attention it did because it was completely in line with the topic at hand 

Post # 50
Member
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

sallyloves90 :  then maybe go elsewhere where you’re less flabbergasted? We idiots clearly don’t have any good advice for you

Post # 51
Member
246 posts
Helper bee

Sansa85 :  girl, I have two toddlers and I FELT your comment. They are learning constantly and have very little control over their emotions/actions at this point. Like most parents I’ve had moments where I’m sure I could have easily snapped in a split second of anger and given either of them a whack, but I haven’t because I am an adult who can control herself. If I hit them because they hit me, what the hell does that teach them? Not only that, but who the hell WANTS to hit their kids?!

You may not be looking for validation, but I’m going to give it to you anyway, lol. You’re doing an awesome job. Parenting toddlers is a rough business, and it sounds like you’re handling it like a champ. 

Post # 52
Member
716 posts
Busy bee

Sansa85 :  Yeah, not only is she generally clueless about kids and toddlers, she also completely failed to grasp the essence of your comment. ๐Ÿ™„

I was shocked by her rude, downright stupid response to you too. She’s just a living embodiment of the benefits of spanking, isn’t she?

Post # 53
Member
6437 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Sansa85 :  This is absolutely true. Small children need good modeling of positive behavior in order to learn how to modify their own emotions. Hitting them teaches them nothing about that process, but giving them the proper things to say and things they can do when they feel angry and/or frustrated is actually giving them a solution to the problem they feel. When we hit because we can think of no other response, that teaches the child that there IS no other response. And then how can we be surprised if people hit or attempt to intimidate others in response to strong emotions? It is all they have seen modeled; it is the only thing they can reflect.

Post # 53
Member
87 posts
Worker bee

LOL!!!!! I hope all the PP’s are joking…I really do. 

Post # 54
Member
87 posts
Worker bee

By The Way in the state that I live in, there is still at least one school district that I know of that still does swats…soooo. Yeah.

Post # 55
Member
1216 posts
Bumble bee

OP- I agree with the other posters who believe that it is perfectly okay to say to Abigail to not touch your food, color on your shoes, etc. I don’t think I’d go so far as to discipline another person’s child… but if they are in my space/ destroying my stuff, then yeah, I’d say something.

All of that aside, I have 2 kids myself and they are less than 2 years apart. I don’t live near family, and my husband travels for work, so when my kids were little, I didn’t get a break from them very often. My oldest (daughter) did behave poorly when my son was an infant…. and did do some things in front of a friend of mine in public, that she didn’t do at home. It was mortifying. Part of it, I’m sure, is that she was jealous of her brother and seeking attention, part of it was because she was tired/grumpy that day, some of it was because she was showing off for my friend….. and I’m sure there were times that I didn’t respond to her in the ‘best’ way, bc I was exhausted, too. She wore my patience thin, sometimes and I was much better in managing her inappropriate behavior when I was better rested, myself. Still, there were many days when I knew that I wasn’t going to win mother of the year. ๐Ÿ˜‰

If my friend would have told me that she didn’t want to go out with me unless we were alone/ without kids, that would have been the end of that friendship. I rarely was able to go out alone when they were babies/ very young. My son also had a dairy allergy and we didn’t know about it when he was tiny. He was just grumpy/unsettled and he vomited a lot. Even if I had someone who was willing to watch him (for free!) I probably wouldn’t have gone out very often as he was a very difficult baby, especially to someome who wasn’t completely familiar with him. I had many people tell me to just let him ‘cry it out’ and I didn’t want to do that as I knew he was in physical pain- I just didn’t know why. As an aside, the dairy allergy is now identified/ under control and he’s a MUCH different child ๐Ÿ™‚

Anway, I guess what I am trying to say is that… do I think Abigail’s behavior is acceptable or normal? NOPE.

But do I think that your friend is likely overwhelmed/ exhausted? PROBABLY! and in that situation, a little extra kindness and understanding would likely go a long way.

If you want to maintain a friendship with her, then I would do something for her that would make a difference. Bring her a meal, clean your friend’s kitchen, whatever you think would be helpful and appreciated. A neighbor once brought me a warm roaster chicken from Costco and a bag of salad. I cried I was so happy. I would bet that your friend realizing that you aren’t judging her and are only trying to help would make a huge difference.

Just some food for thought. Abigail sounds like a challenging child, for sure!

 

Post # 56
Member
5538 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

If there is one single district out of the majority of counties in the western world that agrees with you then you must be right…sallyloves90 :  

Post # 57
Member
2477 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

zzar45 :  based on her views across multiple posts she’ll be a single mom raising kids because she don’t need a man or marriage and her kids will go to the one school that agree that kids should get the shit beat out of them when they misbehave. They’ll turn out great as she did. 

Post # 58
Member
87 posts
Worker bee

zzar45 :  19 states still allow corporal punishment in schools….

Post # 59
Member
6806 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

sallyloves90 :  Why do you keep going on about this? This doesn’t even help the OP in any way whatsoever. You don’t even have children but good to know you know best as to how to raise other people’s kids! 

Post # 60
Member
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

llevinso :  she’s just trying to fight with random strangers on the internet about something that will be abolished in the next 10 years anyways 

Post # 61
Member
754 posts
Busy bee

 

I have a 4 and a half year old. He was N-E-V-E-R like this since the day he was born, then went through a tumultous relationship with his father and me, then a terrible separation where his father did some very bad things to us. Basically, the kid never lost his cool.

So, what that girl is doing is TOTALLY unacceptable at her age. She is in school and kids learn a helluva lot of discipline in the first few weeks of school already! And, it shows at home.

Stop hanging out with this friend. She can hang out with other ‘mommy friends’ and their kids can lick each other.

You can take some classes for your social interaction.

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