Is this normal? Feeling apathetic about wedding

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2079 posts
Buzzing bee

I think it’s normal. You may just be over the planning phase now that you’ve gotten the major things out of the way. I think I’ll feel the same way! Lol 

Youre clearly happy and this isn’t about your relationship, so I wouldn’t worry about it. In fact, it’s good that you’re more looking forward to being married, as some people are just all about the wedding and get married for the wrong reasons. As your wedding gets closer you will probably start to get excited again. Don’t overthink it!

Post # 3
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I feel the EXACT same way. I liked meeting everyone and the big picture but maybe it’s because we are halfway like y’all and now it’s coming down to the details and ughhhhh lol I’m over it for now. Until late next month when we start to have quite a few meetings 

Post # 4
Member
720 posts
Busy bee

We are about 4 months away and I’m at the point where I’m like “Let’s hurry it up and do the damn thing!” I think once the big pieces of planning are done most people feel this way. As long as you’re feeling good about your relationship then I think the ‘excitement’ will set back in once you’re closer but you will have to wade through some of the tedious tasks until then. 

Post # 5
Member
1295 posts
Bumble bee

I agree that this is totally normal.  I also remember feeling this way– apathetic and like the wedding was just a hurdle–especially once I reached the halfway point of planning it.  I just wanted to be married already without all the hassle of the bells and whistles.  But on the day, I was so happy that I had put all the thought and effort into it.  The wedding turned out pefect, and my husband and I couldn’t be happier.  We have wonderful memories, and it was all worth it.  I’m sure you will feel the same way, in the end!  And your excitement will likely return once the day draws near.

Post # 6
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: London

I could have written this myself! I think its so hard, theres so much expectation to love every moment of it but it can get a bit meh when youve done the main bits, cant be bothered with small details yet but youre in this no mans land of it still being further away than you want, and not close enough to do much else. 

I wouldnt worry, maybe try and focus on some non wedding related thigns you like, like reading or trying a new hobby? 

Post # 7
Member
7556 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
sbl99 :  Whilst I didn’t lose motivation with any planning aspects I did hit a stage of not being excited as I felt like I needed to lose weight, but then didn’t want to feel like I was falling into the bride trap of suddenly trying to lose loads of weight. I was really conflicted which bummed me out a bit. Everyone was getting so excited and I was kind of feeling like time was running out. Like you, nothing to do with my feelings towards my Fiance. 

Post # 8
Member
78 posts
Worker bee

It’s definitely normal and I felt this too when planning.

The small details make you want to scream “I don’t care!” or “Why am I choosing the texture of a napkin???”. The tiny stuff sucks, but it’s also some important stuff.

I recommend spending a weekend getting everything mapped out to be done or a timeline of when it’ll be done (diy etc) and then give it a little time to get fun again.

It may not get fun again, so ignore it and snuggle up with your husband-to-be instead!

Post # 9
Member
5170 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

I wasn’t really excited about the wedding until this January when we hit 4 months and it started to feel real.  

It wasn’t that I was apathetic about the wedding, marriage or my SO but I just didn’t care about a lot of wedding details so it wasn’t something I was overly excited for. 

Post # 10
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Once I had everything big planned (venue, photographer, music, food, etc.), I just wanted everything to be done! There’s a lot of anticipation with a wedding, and you’re sitting on tenterhooks hoping everything will work out. I was definitely more excited to be married than to have the wedding, however. My mum even told me that while looking through our “getting ready” photos, there was visible tension, then in the photos after we were hitched she said that everyone looked so much more relaxed. 

If it helps, take a break from the planning and de-stress and go on a date night with your fiance. 🙂 I also scheduled a lot of the stupid little parts of planning in my calendar (almost like schoolwork!) so I wouldn’t forget or put off something that was “due”. 

Post # 11
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

View original reply
sbl99 :  Totally normal. I am in the same stage! My wedding is in August and I have a huge list of things done, but my excitement to get them done has totally flat lined. I just want to get married already!

I am still moving forward and getting things done, but not beacuse I am excited about it. Just basically because I know I need to keep moving because the clock wont stop ticking!

Post # 12
Member
413 posts
Helper bee

I am about the same. Just blah. We will only be engaged exactly 6 months. Most everything is booked and free or free for us so its not even stressful. I just don’t care about having a wedding in general. And when I do start thinking about it… I get EXTREMELY nervous just thinking about standing up in front of so many people during an intimate moment. So I think I push the whole thing to the side to forget it. My nerves overwhelm me that much… its best to be blah right now!

Now… even though I am blah now… I think I am going to be much more excited when all the showers and parties start. We are having a coed shower and so on. So it will be fun for everyone including fiance. 

Post # 13
Member
1217 posts
Bumble bee

You didn’t say how long your engagement is, but I have seen with my friends and family that those that have long engagements tend to feel this way.  We had a short engagement (7 months) so I didn’t have a ton of time to plan and rethink my decisions, and when you have a lot of time, I think you tend to re-evaulate your choices and can make having to make more choices daunting.  Sounds completely normal to me.

Post # 14
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I feel the exact same way! We are about 100 days out, and I’m honestly just over it. We have had a 1 1/2 year long engagement, so I’m just ready to be married already. I’m tired of every spare dollar we have going into the wedding account. I’m tired of my Future Mother-In-Law butting her nose into my wedding planning, offering her opinions on the smallest of details, and forcing her way into my bridal appointments. I’m just…. tired. I’m ready for the honeymoon LOL.

It’s not that I’m necessarily stressed about or dreading the wedding itself. It just doesn’t feel as important as it should. Everyone keeps telling me that it’s the most important day of my life, and that everything needs to be perfect… but I’m a pretty lowkey bride. The whole point is that I just want to be married to the love of my life!

I think everyone goes through some form of this, so don’t think about it too much. Just keep your eye on the prize!

View original reply
konablend :  Being the center of attention is the only thing I’m nervous about too!!! We are actually having a private ceremony with under 20 people just because I was way too nervous to stand up and speak in front of 150 people that are all analyzing the way I look. I almost passed out at my dress fitting just because everyone was staring at me LOL.

Post # 15
Member
809 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2019

I concur this is normal (at least for me).  I am really excited for my marriage, less so for the wedding.  I’ve found the whole process quite stressful and anxiety inducing and am at the point I just want the day to be here.

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