(Closed) Is this normal for a bridal shower? Would love advice

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

She’s not hosting anything! That’s incredibly rude.

Post # 4
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Super odd….Why does the gift have to be in an envelope? Is that her way of asking for money?

Also, is it a potluck style where each person brings a dish or they each bring their own meal?

Post # 5
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’ve never been to a bridal shower where guests bring their own food, wine, AND a “gift in an envelope,” which I assume means cash. What’s the point of this? Have any of the three-four showers you’ve been to been like this?

Post # 6
9675 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Usually the ones hosting provide all the food and drinks. 

She is asking the other guests to bring their own food and wine?  Is it supposed to be like a potluck?  I wouldn’t be a fan of that (and it’s not normal IMO) but they definitely shouldn’t be asked to bring a gift in addition to food/wine.  What are they supposed to put in the envelope?  Cash?  In my experience that is not normal either for a shower.

I could seeing asking guests to bring a bottle of wine if it was a wine-themed shower where they were asked to bring a bottle of wine instead of the typical shower gifts.

Post # 7
2610 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

Sounds odd to me, I could see if she was in a fun way asking everyone to bring a dish to pass and a bottle of wine so there could be like a fun wine tasting or something but this seems like she just doesn’t want to do any work.

The gift in an envelope is weird too. Just asking for money? Doesn’t want to sit through gift opening, cleaning up wrapping paper etc? I don’t get it.

Every shower I have been to all or most of the food and a cake was provided by the people hosting it. Gifts came in every shape and form from cards to large boxes! We had a blast. Sure it was a lot of work but it was also a lot of fun.

Post # 8
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@canajen:  Yes, this is rude. If she is hosting the event, she should be providing the food/drink. I also think that guests should be able to bring whatever gift they choose for the bridal shower.. I think it is weird that it had to be in an envelope.

Post # 9
2625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014


Post # 10
2685 posts
Sugar bee

That sounds a bit odd.  I’m going to a potluck bridal shower this weekend, but it’s actually part of the theme of the shower so I don’t think it’s a big deal.  But normally, I think the host provides the food and beverages and the guests provide a gift for the bride.

Post # 11
3688 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’d give a card. A card that comes in an envelope.

Post # 12
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

this is insane.  The hosts should provide food and drink.  The shower is to open gifts off the registry, not cash.

Post # 13
716 posts
Busy bee

The point of a bridal shower is for her family and friends to “shower” her with gifts for her new household.  If the couple wants cash gifts, they can say so through word of mouth regarding weddings gifts.  But a bridal shower is never just a monetary gift, I’ve never heard of that.  

If she means a potluck stlye party, that’s not uncommon.  But I’ve never heard of one for a bridal shower.

Post # 14
7387 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Ummm yeah its comes off very cheap, I would certainly be declining that invite. WTH?

Post # 16
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I think that one of those requests on their own, while a bit out of the norm, would be fine.  But combine them and it just comes off super rude.  That’s not hosting a party.

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