(Closed) Is this normal in relationships? Should I be annoyed?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Should your S/O drop everything to talk when you get home?
    Yes, that's part of putting each other first. : (31 votes)
    17 %
    No, talking can wait until my partner is finished with their conversation. : (75 votes)
    41 %
    Only in certain circumstances. : (73 votes)
    40 %
    Other. : (2 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4980 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    It’s not normal. Not unless it’s an emergency or something. FH and I don’t live together, but we see each other every single day. I usually try to plan my things around his things so that his free time is our free time, but it’s not something he “requires” me to do. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    5001 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I have a friend who has been with her boyfriend for almost a year and I’ve never talked to her on the phone when she’s with him. Like not even in the same house. She won’t even answer the phone if she’s with him. I find it very strange. I understand if it’s during dinner or when you’re out, but I don’t think that’s the case every time I call her!

    Post # 5
    Member
    3461 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I don’t know that there’s a rule either way.  It’s rude to hang up on someone in favor of someone else, but it’s also kinda rude to talk on the phone in front of someone I think (we have a small apartment, it can be frustrating to hear half of the conversation).  So to think positively, it could be that she wants privacy of conversation with you.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2250 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    If he is playing WoW or some other game, or watching TV or whatever, yes, he always drops it to come and chat with me. I don’t demand it, he just does it out of respect. But if he was on the phone with someone, I would absolutely not expect him to hop right off to make small talk with me (unless it was an emergency, or I had to tell him I was preggo, or something BIG like that!! Haha).

    Post # 7
    Member
    7311 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    Who is to say that her SO is the one who expects her to drop everything and talk to him? Has she actually told you this, or are you drawing your own conclusion based on her behavior?

    When Mr. LK gets home from work, you’re darn skippy that I drop everything to greet him. It’s not because he expects me to, but because I am just thrilled to see him every night. My friends are great, but my husband and son always take precedence in my life.

    Post # 8
    Member
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    It’s bizarre behavior.  I live with my Fiance and if he get’s home and I’m on the phone he keeps himself busy til I’m available to chat he doesn’t demand I get off the phone, but sometimes I’m having a personal conversation I don’t want him to overhear so I would politely hang up (like when I was planning his 30th bday party).

    Post # 9
    Member
    1848 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    Maybe this is something she has made the priority for herself. Some people get sucked up in their relationships. If he really is expecting that of your friend, then no I don’t find that normal.

    Post # 10
    Member
    9674 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    @lovekiss:  +1

    OP, has she said to you that her Fiance expects it? Or are you just assuming that? Because in all likelihood she chooses to do it for herself, which is ok. If he is demanding it, no that’s not normal. But I think your feelings about him lead you to assume he is demanding it when he isn’t

    Post # 11
    Member
    9674 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    double post

    Post # 13
    Member
    4047 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    If he comes home depressed, clearly pissed off, or clearly elated and excited, then I may be inclined to end my phone conversation to hear from my Fiance. But if it’s just a normal work day? No, I’ll finish up what I’m doing first, then spend some time with him. It certainly isn’t a requirement that I drop everything for him the moment he walks into the room. That’s a bit needy and controlling.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2420 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    That’s just weird. He sounds controlling to me 🙁

    Post # 15
    Member
    9115 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I am not the center of his universe. It is unfair for me to expect him to sacrifice his life, friends and conversations so he can apply all his attention on me.

    I will happily wait for his attention.

    ETA: The reverse applies too. I will not drop everything for him, but I ususally excitedly greet him at the door. He is gone more than he is home, so our time together is scarce and precious.

    Post # 16
    Member
    11233 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Not normal. Neither myself nor my Fiance would expect the other to hang up as soon as we got home.

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