Post # 1
W/the online app, I have had the most exposure to new guys then ever before. I have been on 10 or so 1st dates w/10 or more guys, the date includes nothing intimate. Out of all those guys, I only connected romantically w/one (the one who ended up deceiving me). Most of the guys are just people that I would be friends w/ and a couple just completely weird. Is it a numbers game? btw I have adopted the “don’t get excited about any guy policy”. Is this normal when going on a lot of dates? I started online dating due to the few guys I was meeting in real life, I was meeting some really starnge guys. Online dating has allowed me to filter out most of the weird guys, where I don’t even go on a date w/them
Post # 2
Yep, I’d say that’s pretty normal, especially if you’re casting a wide net.
Post # 3
That seems totally normal to me. Think of it this way– you probably have a lot of men who are just friends, that you know you’d never date, but you’ve hung out with them enough times to realize that things wouldn’t work. With online dates, you skip the “let’s hang out as friends” stage first, and go straight to the date instead of having that extra step of getting to know them in a non-romantic context first.
Post # 4
Yup – I played the numbers game for a year before meeting SO. While it was super frustrating at the time, it was well worth it to find SO! Good on you for knowing not to get excited ahead of time. I eventually developed a 2-month rule for that. 🙂
Post # 5
Yes- both my bestie and my Mother-In-Law dated online and it took them both two years of awkward first dates with guys who were friend material or creepy until they met their partners. It’s a numbers game. Try to be patient, have fun, and most importantly be safe!
Post # 6
Sounds pretty normal, and at least you’re putting yourself out there and getting a wide range of experiences. I know people who got so fed up with online dating/dating in general that they settled and attached themselves to the first guy they went on more than one date with, or the guy who happened to look really good on paper. Definitely don’t do that! It took me a little over a year and trying a couple different sites before I found my now SO.
Just don’t get frustrated/give up hope and settle. You’ll meet someone.
Post # 7
Yup. Pretty normal. I met loads of weirdos. Loads of nice guys that weren’t my type. Loads of guys who blatantly lied in their profiles and then after 2 years I finally found the one.
Post # 8
After my experience w/that one guy, I def do not go by what looks good on paper. From 1st glance, the guy seemed perfect, but there were red flags I should have paid attention to. I def want to keep putting myself out there, I actually did make a friend off online dating. I have become a lot less tolerant of lazy effort, so I would rather be single then get some attention from a guy.
Post # 9
Yes, absolutely. In my last single period (lasted about 8 mos) I probably went on 25 first dates (some of those led to date #2 or 3 but none beyond that) before I met my SO. I will say though: I don’t know that I was as picky as I could have been, and if you’re going on a lot of dates where there’s no spark it’s possible that you’re casting too wide of a net and could stand to be a bit choosier. I always felt bad not at least giving someone a chance though if they seemed reasonably smart, reasonably attractive, and didn’t display any dealbreakers (e.g. no shirtless pix), since it’s so hard to tell anything about someone over an app. Some people suggest insisting on a phone call or a longer exchange of messages before agreeing to dates, and if you’re getting frustrated you could try that.
Post # 10
Yup that sounds usual.
You can have a little phone chat before meeting but then I found it was good to meet up rather than have weeks of texting etc just to find out you’re not good together face to face.
Also, I’d say if there’s a nice guy and you get on well but you aren’t 100% sure, go on a second date. I don’t mean if you don’t fancy them at all or if you spot red flags but if you’re ‘hmmm’ not sure but there’s a lot you like then do date 2! You may be surprised.
Post # 11
I have def started being a lot more picky. A guy (lives in another country) visited my country and we went on a 1st date. He has been flirty and playful over messanger, but hasn’t followed thorugh on all of the suggested vid chats. After the 2nd time, I decided enough is enough and I haven’t replied to his last message. He is coming back to my country for work, but I’m not gonna deal w/lazy attempts. If I’m unsure about the guy, I prob don’t go on a date w/him.