(Closed) Is this normal in the dating world?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
324 posts
Helper bee

Yep, I’d say that’s pretty normal, especially if you’re casting a wide net.

Post # 3
Member
819 posts
Busy bee

That seems totally normal to me. Think of it this way– you probably have a lot of men who are just friends, that you know you’d never date, but you’ve hung out with them enough times to realize that things wouldn’t work. With online dates, you skip the “let’s hang out as friends” stage first, and go straight to the date instead of having that extra step of getting to know them in a non-romantic context first.

Post # 4
Member
2344 posts
Buzzing bee

Yup – I played the numbers game for a year before meeting SO. While it was super frustrating at the time, it was well worth it to find SO! Good on you for knowing not to get excited ahead of time. I eventually developed a 2-month rule for that. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
2990 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Yes- both my bestie and my Mother-In-Law dated online and it took them both two years of awkward first dates with guys who were friend material or creepy until they met their partners. It’s a numbers game. Try to be patient, have fun, and most importantly be safe! 

Post # 6
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Sounds pretty normal, and at least you’re putting yourself out there and getting a wide range of experiences. I know people who got so fed up with online dating/dating in general that they settled and attached themselves to the first guy they went on more than one date with, or the guy who happened to look really good on paper. Definitely don’t do that! It took me a little over a year and trying a couple different sites before I found my now SO. 

Just don’t get frustrated/give up hope and settle. You’ll meet someone. 

Post # 7
Member
8987 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

Yup. Pretty normal.  I met loads of weirdos. Loads of nice guys that weren’t my type. Loads of guys who blatantly lied in their profiles and then after 2 years I finally found the one. 

Post # 9
Member
2764 posts
Sugar bee

Yes, absolutely. In my last single period (lasted about 8 mos) I probably went on 25 first dates (some of those led to date #2 or 3 but none beyond that) before I met my SO. I will say though: I don’t know that I was as picky as I could have been, and if you’re going on a lot of dates where there’s no spark it’s possible that you’re casting too wide of a net and could stand to be a bit choosier. I always felt bad not at least giving someone a chance though if they seemed reasonably smart, reasonably attractive, and didn’t display any dealbreakers (e.g. no shirtless pix), since it’s so hard to tell anything about someone over an app. Some people suggest insisting on a phone call or a longer exchange of messages before agreeing to dates, and if you’re getting frustrated you could try that. 

Post # 10
Member
6241 posts
Bee Keeper

Yup that sounds usual. 

You can have a little phone chat before meeting but then I found it was good to meet up rather than have weeks of texting etc just to find out you’re not good together face to face. 

Also, I’d say if there’s a nice guy and you get on well but you aren’t 100% sure, go on a second date. I don’t mean if you don’t fancy them at all or if you spot red flags but if you’re ‘hmmm’ not sure but there’s a lot you like then do date 2!  You may be surprised. 

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