(Closed) Is this normal??? Or am I being used?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Hmm. Weird situation. I think you will just have to meet with her and see where things go!

Post # 4
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I would not talk much to someone about my wedding unless they were going to be invited. That just seems rude. But I also wouldn’t feel the need to ask someone to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man just bc they helped me out. I’d say do as much as you’re comfortable with/have time for and don’t worry about the rest. Good karma on you for your wedding anyways, right? ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 5
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I would meet up with her and see where it goes.  If there is still no indication of an invitation, then Iwould start backing off. 

Post # 6
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

That is a bit awkward…Maybe she’s going to honor you somehow for all your help? I wouldn’t go out of my way too much for her, but if it’s something you enjoy doing and you have the time, I’d say go for it. I don’t think I would get my hopes up too much, though :P.

Post # 8
293 posts
Helper bee

Hmmm.  Well, are you known as a “planner” or “hostess” within your friend circle?

I ask this because I am regarded as such, and I am constantly being asked to help people that I know plan weddings, parties, etc… 

Now, I’ve worked as an event coordinator, so it’s not entirely unreasonable.  I also planned my two best friend’s weddings.  Most of the time, I’m actually flattered that they think I have good taste.  ๐Ÿ™‚

But, iif that’s not the case, it just may be that this girl is clueless.  Many people are.  Many, many people.  She just might be looking for a liferaft. 

I think it’s reasonable to ask her, when you sit down to talk – “what’s your guest list like?”  as a way to maybe start the dialogue about your invite. 


Post # 11
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

She wants help with “everything?” Whoa. You better at least be invited if you’re helpng with a lot of stuff. Since you’re not super close with her, I wouldn’t expect to be in the wedding, but yea, if I put in a lot of effort, I would expect to be invited. Or paid. lol

I have a girl who offered to do my make up. I wasn’t originally planning on inviting her to my wedding, but now I’m wondering if I should because she’s doing make up for four girls for free. If I asked her to do it, she’d definitely be invited. But since she offered? I don’t know…

Post # 14
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Maybe she is feeling overwhelmed with the planning process in general.  She just got engaged, maybe you are the only other person she knows who is engaged also?

Either way, I do think it is strange, but would chalk it up to being clueless…

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