(Closed) Is this normal? Registry use and the FMIL

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

LOL… I have bought things for people from their registry for their birthdays and events after the wedding.  I’ve never thought that maybe they don’t want it anymore.  I think you should just let her know that you no longer wants those items, delicately (of course).

Post # 4
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

My Mother-In-Law bought us a couple of things from our china pattern to give us for other occasions. I thought it was nice. A gift is a gift. At least she’s buying you something you like?

Post # 5
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

My Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law did this too.  I didn’t mind in principle, though I thought it was odd that my Future Mother-In-Law gave us a place setting rather than something like a vase that we could use individually (I decided that the wait til the wedding rule doesn’t apply when something is technically a christmas present).  It turned out kind of a mess, though, b/c we ended up changing our mind about the china and had to return it which seems to have kind of offended her.  I don’t understand this at all, though, since it’s not like she picked it out or antying.  We only registered so that we could accumulate points at macy’s while shopping for other people’s christmas presents (this was 9 mos before our wedding date), though, so we hadn’t really thought too hard about it yet.  I actually did think it was weird that she bought us china, but not weird that they used the registry as a gift guide.

Post # 7
302 posts
Helper bee

i would think this is okay to do this… since it’s stuff you wanted.  ^_^

why don’t you add stuff to it?  if you have an amazon gift registery add books you want and stuff.

i think it’s more that your Future Mother-In-Law just doesn’t know you well enough to figure out what to get you, but would rather just get you stuff she knows you want.

Post # 8
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I would totally love to get things off our registry for bdays and holidays, esp if we don’t end up completing them! At least then you know it’s actually something you want!!! That’s a funny mix-up though, at least she meant well!!

Post # 9
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

At least its something you wanted, or at one time wanted. My step-dad for at least 5 Christmases and Birthdays gave my mom socks, bed sheets, or towels. Happy Birthday to her right?

Post # 10
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think that’s a nice thing to do, at least from my point of view. First of all, my Future Mother-In-Law only gives me Christmas presents that are for us both, so stuff off the registry totally fits that. And she’s never given me a birthday present.

I think I’d feel differently if it were my own mom, sister, etc, but from FMIL? I’d be thrilled she’s getting me something I want! What’s your real worry with this? 

Post # 11
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

This is a fairly common practice in my immediate family. FI’s birthday was last week, and a couple people gave him some tools that were on our registry. He was happy to get exactly what he had been wanting. I’d be happy to get things off the registry for my birthday/Christmas/etc. too, especially if it was leftover items after the wedding. As far as my family sees it, they want to give some sort of gift for whatever occasion, and there is a waiting wishlist of things you actually want/like. I can never think of a very big wishlist for gift-giving occasions, anyhow.

Post # 12
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Jewel Box in Forest Park and Windows on Washington

I think it would be fine, especially since most couples do not get everything off of their registry anyway.

Post # 13
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

My Future Mother-In-Law does this too, but it has been with things like luggage which we can always use sooner! (and toss the crappy old ones!)

Post # 14
112 posts
Blushing bee

We finished off my sister’s china settings for a few years after she got married with birthday and Christmas presents. It’s what she wanted. I will probably clean off the registry after the wedding and just keep things on there that we still really want to complete in case my family uses it for Christmas. 

Post # 15
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I have done this for my close friends and I would love for my family & friends to do this for our birthdays and Christmas gifts (since it is before the wedding anyways). They are things that you obviously wanted-because you registered for them..now if it was too far after the wedding..then yeah..that’s odd because you could have gone out and bought the stuff already

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