(Closed) Is this odd to anyone else?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
963 posts
Busy bee

It’s weird. But I find some people are just like that. I have a friend who is always fixated on material stuff and the cost. “I got new shoes, $60, at Blah Blah store.” “You should come over. I finally figured out how to work the ’60 inch’ “. She’s always like that. I just ignore it. I’m not sure why some people are like that. You’d think they’d realize they come off a bit strange.

Post # 3
36 posts

That sounds so frustrating.  You probably want to be all “But don’t you see??  We’re engaged!  I’m on top of the moon!!  Celebrate, show you’re happy that I’m joining the family and by all means say congratulations!”.  

Bummer.  Are they always like this?  It sounds like it, considering the house comment.  I guess it’s a new instance of how you can’t choose your family and now you get to learn who they are and accept tham for that.  Are there things about your parents that you can’t explain but would just shrug and say that’s them?  You’ve had a whole life to get used to that, and just when we accept these things, a new family comes up to deal with!

Post # 4
9547 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Eh, some people are materialistic. Sucks for them, but I wouldn’t let it bother you. There’s nothing that you can really do about their particular view on life, so just smile and keep your focus on more important matters. 

Post # 6
2963 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

I think you are being oversensitive, or thinking too much into it.

Post # 7
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

That’s disappointing.  But I wonder if your Mother-In-Law had come if there would have been more talk about the engagement?  I know I’m generalizing but my soon to be Father-In-Law is the same way.  To him talking about love and our realtionship/engagement isn’t something he feels comfortable with.  Our wedding is two months away and what he has spoken about are practical things.  Such as, costs, what types of wine he’s making, food, issues with the venue, # number of guests, attire for the groomsmen etc… I’m not taking it personally.  To him those are things he wants to talk about.  I think he’s happy about our enagement but he has never said that per say.

Post # 8
283 posts
Helper bee

My own father and I don’t talk about anything relating to my engagement. That’s just who we are, and that’s how it works. Even when we announced it to my parents, my dad said ‘May is a nice month for a wedding’ and piped down after that. That’s it.

Some people just don’t know how to respond, and I think sometimes dads struggle in the emotional department (not all, but many) and for them the ring is a status symbol, but it’s a status symbol of your ENGAGEMENT. I’ve had people compliment my ring and not the event itself, and I tried to take it as a ‘It’s very nice, I am very happy this happened to you’ versus just a materialistic appreciation of my jewelry.

Obviously you can feel that way, and it doesn’t mean you can’t feel uncomfortable (everything you’re feeling are legitimate feelings) but at the same time, might be worth just giving them the benefit of the doubt 🙂 You are marrying into this family, might as well be easy-going, there are tons of other things inlaws do that can get your goat so maybe prioritize in what really bothers you?

Sounds like kind of a jerk thing to say, but at the same time think of what kind of stress they’re going through right now with the illness of the grandmother, your FI’s father is also supporting his wife during a very tough time. Sometimes people just don’t feel very celebratory, and it’s hard to experience that downer when you’re on top of the world.

Post # 9
850 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

First thing everyone dose is look at the ring!…or in my case express surprise that I said yes!!

I wouldn’t worry about it too much, unless usually they are expressive people. Some people are just quiet with stuff like that. I’ve had to adjust to my new family as they are far, far more expressive than my own. Lots of hugging and love you’s. My lot are more likely to take the P out of each other as a form of regard!

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