(Closed) Is this offensive?

posted 9 years ago in Legal
  • poll: Is this offensive? Should they pay their bill?

    Yes it's offesnive

    No, it's just an accurate description like saying skinny girls

    Other (explained below)

    They have the right to refuse paying

    They DO NOT have the right to refuse paying

  • Post # 48
    Member
    1169 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    It’s offensive and they have the right to not tip, the restaurant probably should have comped their bill anyway (look what followed!) but they should have paid their bill

    Post # 47
    Member
    2314 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @miss.wiggums:  Servers represent the restaurant. So yes, the restaurant is responsible.

    Post # 49
    Member
    1875 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think it’s offensive but they should have to pay for their meal.  As PP said, calling someone fat is different than calling someone skinny because the words do not have the same connotations.  Calling someone skinny is typically a compliment while calling someone is fat is usually meant in a negative way and not as a compliment.

    I think it’s ok to label people by physical appearance or personality so long as it’s in a positive or neutral way. 

    Skinny, pretty, smart, funny = positive and ok

    French, British, tall, short, high school, college, guys, ladies = neutral and ok

    Fat, ugly, stupid, annoying = negative and not ok (even if true)

    Post # 50
    Member
    547 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    If it was only intended for the waiter to reference in order to keep the tables straight, then who cares. But, if, as a waiter, you know someone else will see the labels, especially your guests, then it is inappropriate.

    Post # 51
    Member
    12326 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    There was no bad intent here.  The guy was stupid and used an (I’m sorry to say) accurate descriptor.  Whether or not they can change it is not the point.  It’s just as accurate as saying ‘black shirts’, ‘Asian table’, or ‘tall models’.  They were quite large, and that was the easiest way maybe for him to remember them.  I dont think it should be very embarrassing, its not like he was screaming it to the restaurant, it was just a stupid note for himself.  I dont think they had the right to refuse payment either, they ate a meal, they should pay for it.

    Post # 52
    Member
    3054 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Wow…. yeah that is very offensive.

    Yeah…. they “should” pay but do they “have” to? No….IMO, as a manager I would not expect it of them. I would be very embarrassed that an employee of mine did that….. I just couldn’t even imagine. I would comp their bill. I would most likely fire that person to be honest. Would it be offensive if they were labeled “skinny” or “asian”? Sure and if someone came to me to complain about that, I would understand why and not argue with them about it. If they considered it offensive, then that would be all I needed. Labeling customers like that is not necessary and very immature.

    Now…. on the flip side of this. There is a place called “Dick’s Last Resort” that is famous for offending their customers as a joke. It is to be expected that when you eat there, that they are going to insult you. It is a given and it is part of the appeal. They regulary insult you to your face and leave a comment on your bill. Now…. would they have the right to be upset and not pay for their meal if this were to happen there? Hmmmm

     

    Post # 53
    Member
    272 posts
    Helper bee

    I think the fact that the manager seemed to be holding back laughter is the only reason that I would say they shouldn’t have to pay.  Not only did the bartender do wrong, but the manager obviously wasn’t respectful enough about the situation, or their feelings.  If I were the manager, I would have brought over the bartender, demanded he give them a personal apology, then I would say he was excused for the night until the higher ups decided on what they would do to him, in front of the women, so that they might have some sense of vindication.

    @MrsWBS:  Well, listing them as “Fat Girls,” personally, I would have gone for something a little more vague, like “Big Love,” is more in line with referring to an Asian table as “slant eyes,” yes, it is an accurate description, but it’s also offensive.

    Post # 54
    Member
    1094 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

    Very offensive!  The server was immature and the restaurant was right to offer a discount on their bill, in an effort to apologize for their employees actions.  What is the restaurant’s policy of identifying customers?  When I was a server in college, each table had a number and each guest had a number going counterclockwise (or clockwise, I can’t remember, it’s been so long).  

    Post # 57
    Member
    5317 posts
    Bee Keeper

    It’s offensive.

    They are legally still required to pay and they should. No tip.

    Then they should sue, because that’s not ok to get away with.

    By The Way I also think things like “Asian table” or “skinny girls” is walking on thin ice.

    Number your tables/barstools, people!

     

    Post # 58
    Member
    782 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I think it was extremely rude, and I don’t think they should have had to pay their bill. I’ve been comped meals for way less offensive things. It would by far and away have been in the best interests of everyone involved to offer the ladies their meals “on the house.” In today’s world, what kind of idiot manager doesn’t anticipate a receipt like that ending up on Facebook?

    Post # 59
    Member
    17 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I would talk to management first. Then if they would not offer a sincere apology (comped meal), I would make it a point to not to tip. That’s so embarassing and uncalled for. Reputable restaurants use table numbers or sections to keep tables organized.

    Post # 60
    Member
    6980 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    It’s very offensive. The bartender should be fired, the manager should be fired, and the owner should absolutely not make them pay. Technically they do still HAVE to… but if the owner of the restaurant has any sense at all he’d cover the bill.

    Post # 61
    Member
    101 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @pinkshoes:  +1

    I’m sorry, there are just so many other larger things people should focus on – like dying and starving children. I have never understood the aversion to calling things as you see them. They were in fact, large ladies. Why is it so taboo to state the obvious??

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