(Closed) Is this offensive?????

posted 6 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I don’t think it would be offensive to simply ask, but you’d have to decide what you’ll do if they say no.  Good luck!


Edit: I’d leave out the bit about bringing a different vibe, and just state that you’d rather he do it.

Post # 4
2906 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

I think asking could be sooo awkward, but I can certainly understand why you want to! What about if you asked your cousin if your uncle could co-officiate with him?

Post # 5
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Here is a thought…

Have a chat with your Cousin the Pastor, and tell him it is a “family” event, so you’d really like it if BOTH he and your Uncle could do it together as they are both Pastors.

Certainly less chance of offending anyone, and a happier outcome for all involved.  Rather than worry about WHO is going to do what (that might cause some anxiety) they could either take turns for the Vows part… one administering to one, one to the other… or they could do it together

Point is, Weddings are a compromise… and the first step to what marriage and life as an adult is really about… being able to “make things work” for others, and not always putting our own needs first.  They also are a symbol of bringing families together… in an ongoing commitment that ties us to one another.

I am sure you can find a way to make this a great event for everyone if you brainstorm it with your Fiance and the two Pastors.

Good Luck

EDIT – Looks like Jijitattoo and I were replying at the same time, with the same basic idea.


Post # 6
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I don’t think it would be rude….my uncle is the pastor of my church, but our actual building would be a tight squeeze, so even though he’s still officiating…we’re having it a different church. Most churches allow their space be used for weddings pretty frequently, regardless of who’s officiating.

Considering your pastor is only your 2nd or 3rd cousin…I really can’t picture him being offended that you would choose a closer relative. Who knows, he may actually be relieved to be able to attend a wedding without having to officiate it.

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