(Closed) is this okay…?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
622 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I would send her one now  so she knows you received the gift and then send the photo one after the wedding as well so she will have a keepsake of the day 😉

Post # 4
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

@Heatherloveskenny: I think a phone call now is just fine – but do not send a facebook message. And then send the traditional note after the wedding.

(I don’t know if that’s proper ettiquette, just what I would do)

Post # 5
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think you should call her or send her a thank you note now, especially since the gift was so thoughtful. Do not send her a FB message.

Post # 6
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Either call or send a thank you note now. Do not do Facebook. 

Post # 7
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Since your wedding isn’t until June, I would go ahead and send a thank you now.  I would purchase one pack of generic thank yous to send out for any other gifts you receive prior to the wedding (unless it’s right before the wedding…then you can wait until you send the others).

Post # 9
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d write her a nice thank you note and pop it in the mail. If she comes to the wedding, then I’d send her another one of your photo thank yous, but I do think that a note now is appropriate, or a phone call. I wouldn’t FB message, especially since you haven’t seen her in a long time and you said the gift was generous. Something more personal is best.

ETA- if she’s not coming, I’d send her a nice note now, and then after the wedding, toss a photo thank you in the mail just to thank her again and share the excitement of your wedding and some photos. I’m sure she’ll be so appreciative!

Post # 10
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@indibee: well said, I agree!

Send a written note now. Follow up with a phone call in a week. After the wedding, send a photo thank you of how you were thinking of her on your big day.

Post # 12
1699 posts
Bumble bee

Isn’t it nice when you are not sure what is actually “proper” — and it turns out that your instincts are spot on?

Formal etiquette says that every gift should be acknowledged immediately, if possible on the same day that it is received. The most correct acknowledgement is a hand-written note on the recipient’s “informal” personal stationery — NOT a photo-card or “Thank-you” card(!).

So, far from being horrible or tacky, you in fact are being very proper and gracious! Well done!

Post # 14
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I had the same issue. What I ended up doing was sending a written thank you note before the wedding then a photo thank you note after as well. Those who received both commented that it was very nice of me to send them both so I think that would work for you too 🙂

Post # 15
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’d send a quick thank you note now, and then send a picture thank you note after the wedding!  They have some super cute, super cheap thank you notes at Target!  I got an awesome pack of colored ones that were simple but adorable, for about 3 bucks for a 12 pack!

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