(Closed) Is this only teachers or does this happen in all work places???

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1220 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Lol it’s not just you! Last year when I came back from France, all my coworkers were asking me if I had any news….and I just work in an office. I’m expecting the same thing again in a few weeks when I come back from Hawaii…

As for comebacks…I could use an idea or 10 myself..

Post # 4
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My boss knew I was getting engaged before I was – she and I are very close. It was funny to come back to work and have it be “old news” since she was so excited and blabbed to everyone! 

Post # 5
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Obviously you’re co-workers can’t really get nosy if you don’t overshare in the workplace. 

Post # 6
3082 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Maybe because teachers are mostly women? Or, in general, they are more talkative people? I don’t know. I’m a teacher too and we are all into talking about weddings and stuff like that. 

Post # 7
9887 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I doubt they mean to be rude or nosy, they’re probably just interested because engagements (and e-rings, obviously) are interesting to people.  If it wasn’t interesting the Bee wouldn’t even exist.

It doesn’t bother me when people at work ask me questions about my ring or the wedding, etc.  It’s better than the alternative of being ignored and not cared about by the people I work with, lol.

Post # 8
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think it’s the going away aspect.

If you were in school year round, they would find out very soon after you got engaged. The first day back at work you’d show off your sparkly and they’d know.

But since there’s this extended time apart for the summer they feel like they need to ask to make sure they get all the news. I don’t think it’s specific to teachers or women – the love of gossip is universal. But teaching is one of those few jobs with a gap like that.

Post # 9
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Any time I come back from a trip….

Post # 10
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@KJM33:  How about ‘no, any news on the sex change?’ or ‘no, any news on the weightloss surgery?’

jk. That would be pretty bad 😛

Meh. Just tell them that they’ll be the first to know when there is news. Sorta bitchy.. they might get the hint.

Post # 11
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think that’s the case when you work with a lot of women. When I worked with a lot of women, I got these questions all the time. When I started working with mostly men, I never heard a peep about my wedding, engagement, plans, etc. although my male manager jokes that I was engaged for so long it was like a marriage.

Post # 12
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m not a teacher but I work in social services in an office of all women. I did get some questions abothe when I would get engaged, but since getting engaged, the questions are non-stop about wedding plans. Fiance and I are planning an elopement now, so I’ve just told them all that we are postponing plans so we can get our finances in order. That has since shut them up, but honestly if you think this is bad, just wait til you’re justifying all your wedding choices!!

Post # 13
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

drummerbride:  —> THIS

When she said…

Obviously you’re co-workers can’t really get nosy if you don’t overshare in the workplace.

Work is and isn’t part of Real-Life.

Your Coworkers are not Friends or Family.

And WORK is vastly different from school (where everyone was about the same age and had similar life experiences).  Work is made up of folks from a wide range of ages and backgrounds… from their 20s thru to their 60s.

Consequently, your coworkers are not your friends.  Friends are something entirely different (altho you can certainly cultivate “a few” friendships at the offic).  Generally speaking tho, there are too many risks to having friends at the office and over-sharing.  The more your coworkers know about YOU and YOUR PERSONAL LIFE… the more this can negatively effect your career

(Coworkers don’t forget anything… and so they can really “hang” you when you need to be seen as a professional or get ahead… so not only is a sound idea not to share too much on Facebook, but also too with any Water-Cooler Gossip or the Weekend Catch-up…)

A lesson that many of us have learned the hard way.  It sucks when you find a job you love, but because of past indiscretions you suddenly find you have to go thru the whole hassle of moving somewhere else to get ahead because no one in your current office will see beyond the “stuff” they know about your personal life.

Keep work & life seperate.


Post # 14
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@This Time Round:  Exactly! It’s of course one thing to share the news of engagment, but if your co-workers are hassling about when you and your SO are getting engaged you have clearly over-shared. Co-workers wouldn’t do this without knowing you have a SO and knowing you’ve been together awhile. Which in itself is over-sharing. Letting you’re superiors know that you will be getting married is one thing.

Post # 15
78 posts
Worker bee

I get hassled all the time at work (I’m a nurse and have mostly female coworkers).

I don’t really feel I overshared…I work with a relatively small staff and when you work with the same people over a number of years, your co-workers eventually find out things about you.  For example, spouses and significant others get invited to holiday parties, you get flowers sent to you at work, photos on your desk if you have an office job, etc.  They will know you have a significant other.  Eventually, they tend to start asking questions!  

I think my coworkers mean well, but it does get tiring!

Post # 16
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@KJM33:  Ugh I’m completly dreading this also! I am the youngest at the school I work with. Every time we come back from vacation that’s the first thing most of them ask.

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