Post # 1
We’re not inviting kids to the wedding because of a lot of same reasons other people are….cost, want parents to have fun w/o kid-chasing, no desire to to set up kid games and stuff to keep their attention, and…our wedding is at a private residence on the bank of a major river…a few hundred yards upstream from a dam.
Anyway, we’re tried to get the word out informally and put this on the Ceremony & Reception page of our wedding web site, then put that URL on our save the dates:
“Due to several factors, including the venue’s close proximity to the XX River, we are kindly requesting that only adults attend the ceremony and reception.”
Now we’re making the final touches to our invites and I want to make it clear, but not in the invite version of flashing neon lights. Planning on:
– Putting the same wording above at the bottom of the RSVP panel of the invite (invites are tri-fold w/a perforated RSVP panel and no enclosures or insert cards)
– On the RSVP panel putting “__ seats have been reserved in your honor”
– Addressing the invite to the the parents only in a household w/kids.
For the wedding party, they are going in on a local sitter when a babysitter at home is not an option. The wedding/ceremony is 2-3 hours from where 90% of the guests live. Oh and no kids in the bridal party and kids in our immediate family.
Is this overkill?
Post # 3
Not overkill. Addressing invitations to only those invited is standard.
“___ of ____ seats reserved” is also pretty standard thses days.
Post # 4
with all the problems i read on here regarding the no-kids situation, better safe than sorry. make it clear to them, i say.
Post # 5
I find that most people don’t check the website, so many will only see the note on the RSVP card (and the inner envelope addressed only to parents but I think people don’t even pay attention to that), so I don’t think it’s overkill at all.
Post # 6
I think what you have is fine. Better to be safe than sorry, and your wording is polite.
Post # 7
Definitely not overkill. So many parents either 1) feel their children are entitled to everything, even grownup events 2) ignore what you tell them the first 2, 3, 4 times. Hold your ground.
Post # 8
I do think it’s over kill, and it would make me think you knew a lot of idiots (since I know I am not one, it must be for someone).
Why not just go with the easiest, and most correct following up with people who invite their children along?
It has the least potential for offense and is just as effective.
Post # 9
This is the most recent draft of the RSVP panel. Thanks for all your comments so far!! 🙂
Post # 10
I’m not crazy about including that line on your RSVP card. I would just address the invitation to parents, and address it individually if needed. Also see if you can spread the word (via word of mouth) that it is adults only.
Post # 11
I don’t think what you’re doing is overkill at all, and I plan to do something very similar.
Post # 12
I really wouldn’t add that line on your RSVP cards. I get the impluse, but I know that if I saw that as a parent, I personally would be sort of confused that you thought I thought (lol) my child was invited.
It sounds like you’ve done your due diligence (addressing envelopes, note on website, —number of seats) on this and if people are still confused, you’re going to have to deal with them specifically and directly. The kind of people who would be confused/dense about this, are still going to add their kids, neighbours, whomever to the invites. The note at the bottom won’t stop them.
Post # 13
@meraj081: heads up! looks like an extra space between “we” and “kindly” on that draft!
Post # 14
Do not include this information on your RSVP card. I think it’s just terrible to use an invitation as a platform to explain who is NOT invited. You’ll need to have individual conversations with people who might bring their kids, but really – your INVITATION is to invite your guests, not repeatedly state who won’t be invited.
ETA: unless the vast majority of people receiving invitations have kids, that note will just seem so out of place.
Post # 15
Nope, this is fine. You’ve been polite about it in each instance, and like others have said, people do NOT check the webiste for some reason. (Grrrrr.) Pleasant reiteration is fine.
Post # 16
I think this is fine. I just had to write and say I love the poll option of “Do you hate kids?” It made me smile.