(Closed) Is this overkill…?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is this overkill?
    Yes, unless your guests are really slow... : (11 votes)
    14 %
    Maybe, but its better to be clear in something like this. : (30 votes)
    37 %
    No, not at all! : (37 votes)
    46 %
    Do you hate kids? : (3 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    46374 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Not overkill. Addressing invitations to only those invited is standard.

    “___ of ____ seats reserved” is also pretty standard thses days.

    Post # 4
    2450 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    with all the problems i read on here regarding the no-kids situation, better safe than sorry. make it clear to them, i say.

    Post # 5
    4150 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I find that most people don’t check the website, so many will only see the note on the RSVP card (and the inner envelope addressed only to parents but I think people don’t even pay attention to that), so I don’t think it’s overkill at all. 

    Post # 6
    3081 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I think what you have is fine. Better to be safe than sorry, and your wording is polite.

    Post # 7
    333 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Definitely not overkill. So many parents either 1) feel their children are entitled to everything, even grownup events  2) ignore what you tell them the first 2, 3, 4 times. Hold your ground.

    Post # 8
    3266 posts
    Sugar bee

    I do think it’s over kill, and it would make me think you knew a lot of idiots (since I know I am not one, it must be for someone).

    Why not just go with the easiest, and most correct following up with people who invite their children along?

    It has the least potential for offense and is just as effective.

    Post # 10
    1663 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @andielovesj:  This!


    I’m not crazy about including that line on your RSVP card.  I would just address the invitation to parents, and address it individually if needed.  Also see if you can spread the word (via word of mouth) that it is adults only.

    Post # 11
    1866 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I don’t think what you’re doing is overkill at all, and I plan to do something very similar.

    Post # 12
    1243 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010


    @Almost Mrs.P:  


    I really wouldn’t add that line on your RSVP cards.  I get the impluse, but I know that if I saw that as a parent, I personally would be sort of confused that you thought I thought (lol) my child was invited.  

    It sounds like you’ve done your due diligence (addressing envelopes, note on website, —number of seats) on this and if people are still confused, you’re going to have to deal with them specifically and directly.  The kind of people who would be confused/dense about this, are still going to add their kids, neighbours, whomever to the invites.  The note at the bottom won’t stop them.

    Post # 13
    1513 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @meraj081:  heads up! looks like an extra space between “we” and “kindly” on that draft!

    Post # 14
    1659 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Do not include this information on your RSVP card. I think it’s just terrible to use an invitation as a platform to explain who is NOT invited. You’ll need to have individual conversations with people who might bring their kids, but really – your INVITATION is to invite your guests, not repeatedly state who won’t be invited.

    ETA: unless the vast majority of people receiving invitations have kids, that note will just seem so out of place.

    Post # 15
    1734 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Nope, this is fine. You’ve been polite about it in each instance, and like others have said, people do NOT check the webiste for some reason. (Grrrrr.) Pleasant reiteration is fine.

    Post # 16
    9551 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think this is fine. I just had to write and say I love the poll option of “Do you hate kids?” It made me smile.

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