- 3 years ago
- Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016
My husband and I aren’t in the position to have a child any time soon, and to be honest, we don’t even know if we want to. However, it’s a topic was discuss a LOT and the subject of adoption has cropped up many times and I’ve done a little bit of research. However, I find that I am almost aways pushed back by these heart-breaking stories, and I started to feel like a monster for even considering adoption.
I have read that “every adopted child is a special needs child”, and that every adopted child will always have that desire for their biological family and/or may not ever really feel like they belong to their adopted family. I have read dozens and dozens of personal stories from individuals who were adopted who felt like their families robbed them of their identity, or brainwashed them. I have read of adopted children who tried to “escape” their parents as soon as they turned 18 and cut off all ties with them.
I know that having a bioligical child does not guarantee similar problems won’t arise, I definitely realize that. But I’ve read site after site that’s all but pounded it into me that I should foster, but never, ever adopt because these things can and will happen. I know it’s unrealisitc to think every adoption story is like this as I have known adopted people who love their parents and are happy, well-adjusted individuals, but I’m only looking as an outsider, not an actual parent.
Despite all this, I still don’t want to take adoption completely off the table, and yet I’m starting to feel like maybe I’m just not strong enough to even BE a parent, much less one of an adopted child.